Need to Vent Why people don't think before they talk!
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sunflower92630
Posts: 76 Member
So haven't even been back to work for 15 minutes after a nice long memorial day weekend and already ready to jump ship!
I'm in the coffee room grabbing my decaf coffee and brekfast when this lady at work comes up to me and says "Oh I heard you were pregnant you don;t even look pregnant" and before I can even say Oh thanks she says" "Yeah you don't look pregnant yet you just look like you've gotten fat!" Really! Really! What the hell am I supposed to say to that!!!???
Thanks lady for making a pregnant lady who already is super conscious about her body feel even worse and want to cry at work. M day hasn't even got started but its already shaing up to be a doozie...
Trying to hold back the tears!
Feeling down!
I'm in the coffee room grabbing my decaf coffee and brekfast when this lady at work comes up to me and says "Oh I heard you were pregnant you don;t even look pregnant" and before I can even say Oh thanks she says" "Yeah you don't look pregnant yet you just look like you've gotten fat!" Really! Really! What the hell am I supposed to say to that!!!???
Thanks lady for making a pregnant lady who already is super conscious about her body feel even worse and want to cry at work. M day hasn't even got started but its already shaing up to be a doozie...
Trying to hold back the tears!
Feeling down!
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Replies
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People are such a**holes!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, what a wench. I'm sorry.
Whenever I talk about how self conscious I'm feeling, my husband always reminds me of two things 1. I'm growing a human inside me, so obviously I'm supposed to be getting bigger. 2. I'm growing a freaking human, I need to stop worrying so much about how i look and focus on how healthy my baby is.
Our bodies are doing something amazing right now. We need to appreciate that. F that lady. She sounds like a total jerk.0 -
UGH. All of this is bullsh*t! Why can't people learn that the ONLY appropriate thing to say is "you look great!" or, you know, don't comment on a woman's body. PERIOD. I hate the ongoing commentary.
Just know that people, like futurestarz said, are total a**holes. It's normal to cry in response to someone hurting your feelings. And we are all here to back you up and tell you how awesome you are! I'm sending you a friend request.0 -
That woman clearly has her own body issues and that she is trying to project on you! You keep growing that baby and taking care of yourself! My first pregnancy I was "outted" by *****y co-workers very early in the 1st trimester and it made me SO MAD--this time (different work place) I plan to hide it until I am 15-20 weeks along--even though my boss and coworkers are supportive and all, I realize that people think of me differently when I am prego. Hang in there--don't let stupid people mess with you!0
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Wow, talk about insensitive. Why did that woman think that comment was necessary? I would have replied with something along the lines of "you're a b!tch."
People who comment on other people's weight have serious issues. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all.
Don't let her ruin your day. Chin up and keep on truckin'.
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I am mad for you just from reading that! Seriously, if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all! It's not that difficult, people!
Recently someone said to me (38 weeks pregnant) "Why are you wearing black? It's not working!" At first I was like, whaaat? Then I realized that black is supposed to be slimming...0 -
Oh my gosh you all are sooooo right! People need to just shut their pie holes! lol The funny part is after I got to my desk after cooling off I thought "What the hell why am I so pissed that lady is the SAME SIZE as me and she's not even pregnant so what the hell is her excuse!!!??? I'll instantly lose the "10 pounds of baby" and immediately still look better than her!"
Yup that made me feel better immediately but i also don't get why women can be soooo mean to other women the weirdest part is this crazy lady has 3 kids of her own so she should know better!!!
That's why I am on here cause unless you are pregnant and going through it ya just dont get it! And none of my friends are pregnant or have been pregnant so they can not relate in anyway I'm the first of my group so here I am! Love the support and thank you all I always feel immediately better about everything going on with my preggo body when I go on this you all are so awesome!
:bigsmile:0 -
Most negative comments I've received are from ladies with kids too. Seriously now.... I know I do look very VERY bloated, but you don't need to comment on it. It's not like I can/should lose weight at this point anyway.
I'm the first of my friends to have a baby too. Add me if you'd like! 0 -
I teach middle school and honestly, the kids were way better about my changing body than the adults were! The students were curious but smart enough to ask questions rather than making assumptions and accusations. And the "smartest" amongst them were bright enough to be all like..."what, you're pregnant, but you look fabulous?!?" right up to the end. People suck.0
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I really wish people would learn to say either nothing at all or simply "you look beautiful" to women, especially pregnant women!
I'm glad you didn't let her get you down too much today! Chin up, you're doing an amazing job growing a human - and you look beautiful in the process!!0 -
I appreciate all of your ladies support. Just to give you an idea I just updated my profile picture was taken of me just last week! I am currently 14 +3 weeks along and I personally know I am not what I was at before but Idon't think I look huge or anything so maybe you all are right she's just being a meany! anyways I am keeping my head up and moving on! growing a baby is hard work!0
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You should of been like, "I know, right! I mean I am almost as big as you are at this point."
But seriously what is wrong with people?0 -
She sounds self conscious of herself and jealous of you! No worries! Enjoy your pregnancy & she can stay bitter 0
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I teach middle school and honestly, the kids were way better about my changing body than the adults were! The students were curious but smart enough to ask questions rather than making assumptions and accusations. And the "smartest" amongst them were bright enough to be all like..."what, you're pregnant, but you look fabulous?!?" right up to the end. People suck.
Exactly! I work at an Elementary School and all of the best comments - and compliments! - I have received have been from the kids.
I get two different views from people all the time. I have so many people asking me things like "are you having twins? You are huge!" and "Wow, you must be due any day now, you look like you are going to fall over you are so big!" to comments like "oh, is that all, I would have thought you were further along, you aren't big enough" and "wow, I wasn't even sure if you were pregnant, let alone that far!"
It is baffling. How can I not look pregnant and yet look like I am having twins? They are all insults the way I feel it. I don't want to be told I look massive and I don't want to be told I just look like I am gaining weight and not actually growing a baby.
I try so hard to ignore the comments, but its hard sometimes. You have every right to feel bad and to cry, what she said is hurtful.0 -
Haha, omg, I hate people. I only laugh because it's like, that's such a ridiculous and over-the-top-rude thing to say, I almost can't even be mad at her, I'm just laughing at how dumb she is. Hold your head up, mama, don't let ridiculous people with no filter get to you. She probably thinks you guys are super best friends and so she can make jokes or something like that. Or she's just an idiot. Either way, brush it off, baby. :flowerforyou:0
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You should of been like, "I know, right! I mean I am almost as big as you are at this point."
But seriously what is wrong with people?
This is the greatest comeback to fat comments ever. I will now use it all the time. Thank you.0 -
You should of been like, "I know, right! I mean I am almost as big as you are at this point."
But seriously what is wrong with people?
Love this come back! Especially since you're saying the woman is your size and not pregnant... Not sure I'd ever have the guts to say it out loud (or maybe I would if I was pissed, I don't usually use 'body shaming' comments but sometimes people need to understand they have to shut the hell up).
How can people think it's ok to openly comment on a woman's body?! Too fat, too skinny... WTF!0 -
I don't know why pregnancy makes people lose their filter. She would have NEVER told you that you looked like you were getting fat if she hadn't heard you were pregnant. (thought it maybe, but probably wouldn't have said it)
Somehow being pregnant makes it "okay" for people to say things to you that they otherwise wouldn't say. Like we're going to somehow be less sensitive about our weight because we have an excuse. You'd think (especially the ones with kids!) they would know we're MORE sensitive because we're hormonal, and our bodies are constantly changing and we don't feel like ourselves!!0 -
I teach middle school and honestly, the kids were way better about my changing body than the adults were! The students were curious but smart enough to ask questions rather than making assumptions and accusations. And the "smartest" amongst them were bright enough to be all like..."what, you're pregnant, but you look fabulous?!?" right up to the end. People suck.
Exactly! I work at an Elementary School and all of the best comments - and compliments! - I have received have been from the kids.
I get two different views from people all the time. I have so many people asking me things like "are you having twins? You are huge!" and "Wow, you must be due any day now, you look like you are going to fall over you are so big!" to comments like "oh, is that all, I would have thought you were further along, you aren't big enough" and "wow, I wasn't even sure if you were pregnant, let alone that far!"
It is baffling. How can I not look pregnant and yet look like I am having twins? They are all insults the way I feel it. I don't want to be told I look massive and I don't want to be told I just look like I am gaining weight and not actually growing a baby.
I try so hard to ignore the comments, but its hard sometimes. You have every right to feel bad and to cry, what she said is hurtful.
Kids are awesome! I have to say my favorite was a neighbor boy (7th grader) who, when I told them it was my last day and they asked why and I told them I was having a baby in like 2 weeks, said "Well, Mrs. G., I see you running and I was going to tell you it wasn't working but I thought that would be rude. I feel so much better knowing you're due with a baby any day now, I was worried about you." Truthfully, I never really got that "big" so I could see some of the confusion for kids. Adults, though, ugh...they should totally know better! I heard much of the same stuff as you...I was too big or too small. I was eating/gaining/exercising/working too much or too little. It was really aggravating. I honestly let people just think I was getting fat until 8 weeks before our due date when I officially announced!0 -
I had a kid at the school ask me, on the last day of school, if I was pregnant. I said "no, just fat is all" - just to test his reaction. When he didn't say anything back at all, I told him I was joking and that I was pregnant. He said "well, then you should not be here. Pregnant women should not be allowed to go to work." This really got me curious as to his logic and I asked him to explain. He said "pregnant women should not have to be out here doing what you are doing. You should be home, resting, taking care of yourself and eating good. Your husband should be helping you and doing things for you and doing the working, not you. People here at the school should pick up your work for you and not be making you do it. And, it is just sad you are out here picking up after us kids. You shouldn't have to do it."
Then, his buddy piped up - "oh come on dude. It is only hard for pregnant women once they are close to the end. She can't be very close, she looks way too good and she isn't even walking slow, I am sure she is fine. Bet she isn't having that baby for a few more months."
I told him it was more like less than 4 weeks. He stood there a moment and said "okay, you are probably right. She shouldn't be here."
I just thought it was super funny mostly but I especially loved the part "she looks way too good" coming from a 3rd grader.0 -
It makes me feel so much better coming on this site knowing that I am not the only one out their dealing with insensitive people and rude coments while pregnant. The really sad part is this is the second time this lady at work has made some kind of rude comment to me about my pregnancy.. if it happens again I am going to say something to her along the lines of "Your mother obviously never taught you if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all" or something to that effect of please keep your negative thoughts to yourself. I can only imagine how much more difficult its going to be when I start showing even more!0
