This my grump. :explode: I'm annoyed. I've been visiting the bariatric clinic. Last year around this time and whole lot more weight, I went to the doctor and got a referral to go to this clinic. They have nutritionists, psychologists, nurses and exercise specialists. I thought it would help me lose weight and if that failed, I'd consider the surgery. I was getting hurt when I'd exercise and it was affecting my mobility. They referred me and told me I would have to wait at least 6 months to get in. I would have to take these modules in the healthcare clinics before I started. So I took the classes on nutrition, calories, stress, cravings, exercise...etc. I started to work on what they were teaching me, to prove that I COULD change my lifestyle. Well that 6 months became eight months and I finally got in to see them. I've had 2 meetings with the nutritionist, 1 with the psychologist and 2 meetings with my file holder... I've been losing the entire time. She told me that if I didn't want surgery then there was little point in me continuing. They've told me at every app't that it is very unlikely that I would be able to lose and keep the weight off myself, and the odds are better with the surgery. She said they weren't there to hold my hand.
I'm mad. They made me jump through hoops to get in there. I got healthier and lost weight, which is what they want to encourage. But they don't want to support me? I got told at the initial assessment that the course of treatment would be 6-9 months and now after 2 1/2, I'm being told that! I feel betrayed. I expected to get some help controlling my emotional eating... which is one of my biggest issues. I'm ANGRY...ANGRY...ANGRY! Good thing I'm not an anger eater.

It's actually covered under my healthcare in Alberta with a doctor referral. It's why I was willing to wait so long to get in. The surgery would be covered too as long as I go through this clinic. I wanted access to the specialists. I'm kinda disenchanted at the moment with them. But anger is a good motivation. :ohwell:

Leanna, thanks for the kind words and support. I definitely wouldn't call you a busybody. I'm aware that this is a lifestyle change. I do think about why I needed to make this change and why I need to make it stick. I try to only make changes that I can live with... otherwise this won't work. I'm disappointed, because I'm worried about when I get to the point of self sabotage. I'm actually terrified of being normal weighted. I've lost weight before and things have happened that make me feel safer when I'm heavy. It's why when I have a big drop or a sudden run on losing... suddenly I'll stall out or mess up. I need to get comfortable with a certain amount of change before push through it. I tend to have fight myself to keep it going sometimes. I was hoping the psychologist could help me with it. I'll just ride this bus till the end of the line and if I need help after that... I'll find some on my own. The support group is a decent idea.:happy:

Dan, I just saw your post about how you injured yourself; how awful for you! Take it carefully and give yourself time to heal. I hope you are much better by now.

I understand totally how this feels, just get right back at it! It's a life long battle of wills and changes you can do this

I needed that too! Thanks Holly!!

Good rant, good choice in burning off the stress

Disclaimer: This rant has nothing to do with politics. It is purely simply about over-eating, lack of control, and fear.

Yesterday I wasted several boxes of delicious savory crackers. Well, they would have been wasted even more on my hips, but it broke my heart to break them up, toss them in the trash and pour oil on top so I couldn't fish them out again.

It was the strangest feeling, because while my hands were going through the movements, a part of my brain was saying "What the F?!?" And I swear I would have stopped if I had given myself time to think about it. I could hear the arguments: "But it's such a waste!" "Tomorrow will be okay, you don't have to do this." "Why don't you just think about it for a minute!" "Why are you doing this?"

The only thing that kept me going, was that I was in automatic mode, and ignoring my thoughts while I was getting a job done. A distinct feeling of disconnect.

Such a strange feeling...

Earlier that night, I'd started with "Just one is okay" and before long was dipping crackers in honey and totally losing count of how many I'd had. History had taught me the easiest way to deal with that was getting rid of the problem. So I did (before taking time to talk myself out of it).

Tonight I had to snack on chicken and broccoli. Nothing else available (I looked). These foods will help shut down the cravings. Now it will just take time for normalcy to kick back in. So happy it was only one day to recover from.

And so lucky my husband is willing to avoid my trigger foods in the house. It's so hard sometimes.

Paula

Paula,

I hear those voices all the time and I have to fight them constantly. We are all on this journey for a reason (all health related at one level or another) and we sometimes lose sight of what that is. I have to listen to the voice of reason and re.confirm my commitment to solving so many health issues that I have because of my obesity (at least I am no longer morbidly obese). I hate the feelings that I have about myself when I listen to those voices, but I love the feelings that I have when I am on track and exercising, not just weight but other health issues also.

Chuck