non recommended today
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pennysteed
Posts: 80 Member
Just had my psych appointment this morning, and was given a non recommendation for two reason. The first is my poor self-image when it comes to my weight. Hello, if I embraced my curves I would not be asking for the surgery. The second is that the doctor feels as if I have a sub eating disorder. I am not bulimic or anerixic, but I have some of the eating traits of those disorders. So good news, he is not recommending me for residential therapy, but I am now being recommended for out patient therapy for at least 3 months. My follow-up is next week with my surgeon, so I just know that he is going to make me wait until either Christmas break or after I graduate in the Spring for this surgery. (I am in my Masters program). I so am not looking forward to another year of fat shaming. I was so ready for surgery in August, so to say the least I am upset at the moment. At least I answered all of the questions truthfully.
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With my surgery there were a few things that were required by the insurance. One was a psych eval. I think that the surgery is big money for the surgery center and I would imagine your surgeon won't let those non-recommendations scare him off.0
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Its important to fix the inside first. Post op is very mentally challenging. You can't stress eat hell you can barely eat. Habits that you have pre-op are no longer viable options. One day you might be able to eat chicken breast and the next it leaves you heaving in the sink.0
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I had my sleeve done during my last year in my Master's program after waiting almost a year. While I was frustrated with all the delays and requirements at the time, looking back I think it was a good thing. I lost over 50 pounds before surgery, figured out a number of things about my eating habits and triggers, and had the surgery between Winter and Spring quarters. It's all part of the journey that you are now on. The journey is about getting healthy and learning to stay healthy, and all the requirements put in front of you are part of that.0
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I thank God routinely that WLS was not available to me 5 years ago. I would have completely eaten around it. I had not resolved my crap self esteem and medicating stress in my life with food. You may not want to hear this but now the surgical community completely realizes that 90% of your success is the psych portion, not the surgery. Medical professionals are completely rated on outcomes now. History of bad outcomes results in your clinic being removed by insurance as a provider. Losing a Blue Cross Ins contract will bankrupt most clinics in TN. My insurance would only cover 2 clinics in my state. The 2 clinics with the highest success rate 5 yrs out. Both of which required extensive psych evaluations. There is a huge amount of mental stress after the surgery. Pts with a negative body image and low self esteem account for a majority of WLS failures. The surgery does nothing to cure food addiction, i.e. medicating stress with food. Anyone can out eat WLS. And all the crap of life is still there after surgery. I worked on my self esteem and food addiction issues for a year and a half with my priest prior to even considering surgery. I still have a sit down with him every month. Even then I had a 6 month ins waiting/supervised diet period. I also went to lots of support group meetings prior to surgery and will continue to go the rest of my life. Like other addictions I am always in a state of recovery. This may upset you but you may have been given the best gift, the gift of future success. If you can love you unreservedly exactly as you are in this moment you will be well on your way. Obesity is not all about what you eat, it is mostly about why you eat. Don't give up, work with your counselor and time will race by. Good luck.0
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I thank God routinely that WLS was not available to me 5 years ago. I would have completely eaten around it. I had not resolved my crap self esteem and medicating stress in my life with food. You may not want to hear this but now the surgical community completely realizes that 90% of your success is the psych portion, not the surgery. Medical professionals are completely rated on outcomes now. History of bad outcomes results in your clinic being removed by insurance as a provider. Losing a Blue Cross Ins contract will bankrupt most clinics in TN. My insurance would only cover 2 clinics in my state. The 2 clinics with the highest success rate 5 yrs out. Both of which required extensive psych evaluations. There is a huge amount of mental stress after the surgery. Pts with a negative body image and low self esteem account for a majority of WLS failures. The surgery does nothing to cure food addiction, i.e. medicating stress with food. Anyone can out eat WLS. And all the crap of life is still there after surgery. I worked on my self esteem and food addiction issues for a year and a half with my priest prior to even considering surgery. I still have a sit down with him every month. Even then I had a 6 month ins waiting/supervised diet period. I also went to lots of support group meetings prior to surgery and will continue to go the rest of my life. Like other addictions I am always in a state of recovery. This may upset you but you may have been given the best gift, the gift of future success. If you can love you unreservedly exactly as you are in this moment you will be well on your way. Obesity is not all about what you eat, it is mostly about why you eat. Don't give up, work with your counselor and time will race by. Good luck.
Love it!! Excellent response! Don't give up on you!! Resolve the shame issue before trying to make any forward movement! Without self-love and authentic pride in who you are on the inside, you will NEVER like what you look like on the outside. No doctor wants to fight self-loathing. We make it hard enough on them, sometimes. This is nothing that you can't resolve with a good therapist. You can do it, and will be so glad you did!!!0 -
I agree with the comments that this surgery shouldn't be rushed into. I am viewing the months prior to surgery as a test run. Working on eating things that will be available to me post-surgery, especially the liquid phase. I learned I am more tolerant of the different protein powders than others (I hope that sticks with me through the surgery), working to significantly lighten up the things i cook to hit my calorie allowance, and that the wife and kids will still enjoy.
In short, don't see the time as a burden, see it as an opportunity. When I go under the knife, I want to minimize the number of things that will be completely new shocks to me. I know there will be plenty, but if I had had the surgery within a couple of weeks of my approval, there would be so much I would have to learn on the fly.
The facilities that are Centers of Excellence, seem to have a good plan, and it is slow, steady and all about preparation!
On the psychological side, take their advice and guidance seriously. Work on the other issues so that the surgery will be a success. They are on your side, they want you to be successful. Trust their experience and judgement! You'll get there, and when you do, you will be successful on every level!
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Good for you for being truthful...it will benefit you in the long run. WLS is a great tool, but only one of them. Maybe not even the most important one. It will only get you part of the way to your healthiest self. It's still a ton of hard work and requires a significant mental shift. I anticipate I will work on this for the rest of my life! No way around this piece - might as well start now! You'll get there - you have a good attitude (truthfullness) about it! Good luck to you!0
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As anxious as I was to hurry up and get the surgery done, now I appreciate those 3 months I had to wait, ultimately time flew by. The 1st month I didn't really diet it was my food funeral period. Month 2 & 3 I started watching my calories and worked on developing healthy eating habits, logging everything and preparing myself for life post-op. I lost 17lbs pre-op but I really wish I would have lost more. If you're surgery gets delayed take that extra time to really focus on losing weight and getting a headstart before surgery.0
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I agree with everyone here. If I had done this surgery 10 or 15 years ago, I would have failed the psych evaluation for sure. Fact is, we should be doing this to get healthy, period. The smaller sizes and liking how we look more is a bonus to the surgery, not the reason for. Yes WLS will improve your life, because it improves your health. But it won't fix all the problems, it won't make you magically happy, save your marriage/relationship, or make you a better person.
Get your head healthy first. And while you are waiting for the surgery, work on changing your lifestyle and eating habits, so when the surgery happens, you will be ready for it with those new habits already in place. I know you are disapointed, but don't let this totally discourage you. This is a bump in the road not a dead end. There's more road and journey ahead for you if you are patient enough to wait for it.0 -
Thank you for all of the words of encouragement. I am trying to see this from their point of view and not decades of being put down by others. With luck, they will find a program for me that works and I will start losing weight naturally. I am still curious as to how they think therapy will work, but I am willing to try so that I can be healthy for myself and for my boys. I am resolved not to give up and see this as a blessing in disguise. The day after my psych denial came, the results of my Upper GI biopsy came back and I have to that issue now treated for the next three plus months to see if they can figure out what is going on there. With all of these problems, I know that Thursday afternoon I will be told that my surgery is on hold. With all of the complications I am getting nervous to see what they are going to find wrong on my sleep study on Wednesday. At least we are finding out all of this now and not post surgery. Again thank you for the kind words, I am taking them to heart.0
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Since I not have experienced the non-recommendation myself, I don't know how that feels, but I do know that surgery is just a tool to lose the weight. It doesn't fix the brain so it can't take away the cravings or eating your feelings, etc. These things you have to learn to deal with in order to be successful with or without weightloss surgery.
I know I personally thought the surgery would help me have a normal relationship with food once I had lost the weight. WRONG! I'm not exactly sure what a normal relationship with food is, but I know I don't have one. I still have to watch what I eat and exercise or the weight creeps back on. Can I have the things I like? Sure just in small portions and not all the time. No food is strictly forbidden, but you must continue to make good choices or the weight comes back. Also, I am a grazer and surgery definitely doesn't fix the wanting to graze all day and grazing is still possible after surgery so you have to work on the head to fix those kinds of compulsions.0 -
That has to be very frustrating. I would have taken that hard too. I think timing is important in this though- as much as getting food and eating issues sorted out. I had to learn to be selfish to make this work, to leave my family for a few hours a week to work out, to cook with myself as the focus first and to insist on the time and resources needed to have the best results from surgery. If I had tried to do this a few years ago, it would not have worked. I know I never like it when my timeline is decided by others, but it usually works out for the best.0
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That has to be very frustrating. I would have taken that hard too. I think timing is important in this though- as much as getting food and eating issues sorted out. I had to learn to be selfish to make this work, to leave my family for a few hours a week to work out, to cook with myself as the focus first and to insist on the time and resources needed to have the best results from surgery. If I had tried to do this a few years ago, it would not have worked. I know I never like it when my timeline is decided by others, but it usually works out for the best.
That's a great point! My kids are now growing more self sufficient (finishing 7th grade and 10th grade) and I see myself having more ability to take "selfish" time to do the thing I need to do.0 -
That's it exactly! My husband never had a problem putting himself first- and that left me to pick up all the slack. My daughter is 5 now, and it's a little easier to have some time for myself now. Still - I joined a 24 hour gym so that I can go after she goes to bed for the night. But I can do that when she's five, it never would have worked when she was younger.0
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Since I not have experienced the non-recommendation myself, I don't know how that feels, but I do know that surgery is just a tool to lose the weight. It doesn't fix the brain so it can't take away the cravings or eating your feelings, etc. These things you have to learn to deal with in order to be successful with or without weightloss surgery.
I know I personally thought the surgery would help me have a normal relationship with food once I had lost the weight. WRONG! I'm not exactly sure what a normal relationship with food is, but I know I don't have one. I still have to watch what I eat and exercise or the weight creeps back on. Can I have the things I like? Sure just in small portions and not all the time. No food is strictly forbidden, but you must continue to make good choices or the weight comes back. Also, I am a grazer and surgery definitely doesn't fix the wanting to graze all day and grazing is still possible after surgery so you have to work on the head to fix those kinds of compulsions.
This is exactly why therapy and support groups are so important! She's right, the surgery doesn't take away what I call my "head hunger". The feeling of I want to eat even though I'm still partially full from dinner and not hungry. This is an evening struggle for me. So Pennysteed, your attitude of looking at this as a blessing in disguise is a reaaly good attitude! Once it all is said and done and you are approved for surgery, you will be ahead of the game emotionally and that's a much better place to be!0
