Is this a thing?
OperationSuperKAT
Posts: 886 Member
Talking to a few guy friends of mine, it seems like whenever they talk about a girl they like, they always refer to her as "really cool", and the reason is always because she works at a bike shop or some other comparable job with no room for growth. Now, I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with working at a job like that if you are truly happy, but I'm starting to feel like the fact that I'll have a master's degree in a year with the possibility of either going on for more schooling or performing is just not something that guys are interested in. Is it just me, or are guys generally turned off by more ambitious women?
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No more so than woman are turned off by guys who are likely to work a lot of hours, not be available, likely to be stressed by events unrelated to them, etc.0
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I for one don't want a gal that is defined by her education or job status. Unfortunately many (not all) really educated or successful women I know seem to be mostly about their professional accomplishments. Where maybe because of having less "success" in the work place or less education, may force the "cool girl" to be defined by things outside of the office. Overall I think we all would say we want a well rounded mate though.0
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Well, there are people (both male and female) out there who define themselves by their professional accomplishments, but I honestly don't know that many. I barely talk about grad school, unless somebody asks me what I do for work or ask how it's going. Then I limit it to something like, "I love it! It's great to be singing every day" or something like that unless the other person is really interested and keeps asking questions. Most of my friends who are in the same position are the same way. Grad school is something we're doing to achieve a goal, but it's just a means to an end.
dbrightwell, maybe you are on to something? I know it's hard sometimes for me to imagine a relationship, because for one, I have no idea where I will be in a year. I don't want to make that a barrier to a relationship, but I'm sure it is hard for guys to imagine one with me
*sigh* I don't know...0 -
Are you sure the woman's job is the reason she's "really cool" or could you just be reading something into that? Just a thought.0
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Not reading into it. Her job is the number one reason they list as to why she is cool. And people wonder why I'm not into guys my own age :laugh:0
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1 - Kate you are so super pretty I love your picture (squirrel!!!)
2 - I've been told guys like to provide, and if they can't, or don't think they'd be able to do that with you, they feel less, and don't want to pursue. (NOT ALL GUYS) and I've been told they don't like to admit that either.0 -
Perhaps the guys that think this girl is cool, are also into cycling/biking as a hobby or related field of interest. I'm not saying being a opera singer isn't cool and would never date one. I know many girls who would be turned off by computer IT guy like me. To them it's not a "cool" and prestigious job like that of a doctor, an exciting an glamorus career of an actor, or more traditional "manly" job like a auto mechanic, and that's fine by me. I am a believer that there is more to a person than just their job and one shouldn't write someone off just because of their choice in a career, though I can understand if people have their reasons. Lifestyles, conflicting working hours, things like that making dating or a relationship difficult/impossible.
This reminds me, didn't we have a thread about jobs and dating a while back? Certain dealbreakers for people, "I could never date a person who works in/as________ because of_______________.0 -
interesting responses...
I'm a professional with two masters degrees and about to study for the CPA exam and looking for someone similarly yoked (so to speak). I don't make a lot of money but guys 'think' i do.
what are the 'hits' I get? without trying to sound mean... guys who want a sugar momma (or sex). I had that for YEARS with my ex (minus the sex). NOT gonna go there AGAIN!!! So yes, my guard is up, and yes, some of their hearts might be in the right place, but if they aren't a professional - whatever - then - sorry boy... seeee yaaa!!! I don't care if the professionals choose that girl with the 'cool' job and i'm single the rest of my life... it is what it is...0 -
1 - Kate you are so super pretty I love your picture (squirrel!!!)
Aw, thank you!! You are so sweet, and you are looking great in your picture!!
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Cesar, I agree with you. I don't really categorize people by what they do, but I prefer guys who have a sense of ambition. Not in a life destroying way, but someone who is always working to better themselves, setting goals, and reaching them. The reason is because those are the types of guys I am most compatible with.
Bethany, I would be so annoyed with guys being after me because they think I could support them. I have actually had the opposite experience. I am a grad student going into the performing arts, so nobody is expecting me to pay their way for anything! I have had several offers from guys looking to be my sugar daddy, but honestly that just skeeves me out. So sleezy, and all thy want is a cute, younger girl to have sex with and show off at parties. *shudder*
I suppose what I really want is a relationship based on equality, so it is hard to fathom why these professional guys are so into a girl who really isn't on the same level professionally, and has no desire to change that.0
