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Support Lacking?

TIUClare
TIUClare Posts: 62 Member
in Social Groups
Hi all,

I am trying to be more upfront about my food issues, but the more upfront I am, the more I am finding that people aren't always so understanding. I don't think this is too shocking but I am struggling with working out how to handle it. For example, my husband just does not understand why I struggle and why I can't just get with the programme. It's not just my husband either, because I have my diary friends only on here and I don't have an answer for why I keep messing up. I don't have an answer for myself, really. Does anyone have any advice?
I am going to start logging the Me vs. The Binge in my journal to see if this helps - which hopefully it will!
Hope you're all having a great day!

Replies

  • queenbekks
    queenbekks Posts: 58 Member
    Hi TIUClare, I have been in this place before too. And I have learned that if I don't understand my reasons, its a lot harder for friends and family to understand either. I really recommend talking to a professional counselor or someone who can help you work toward finding the reason inside yourself. It REALLY helped me out in this and many other areas of my life. Good luck! :)
  • YAYJules
    YAYJules Posts: 282 Member
    Dieting and weight loss is more than what it seems. There are so many components mixed in with it, and the reasons for extra weight can be more than simply not knowing the best way to eat healthfully.

    One example I can think of straight away: a woman is sexually assaulted, and forever after is made uncomfortable by excessive male attention, and puts on the "fat suit" to hide behind. I know this because I lived it. For me, losing weight is more than calories in, calories out. It's coming to terms with not letting an anonymous criminal have power over me any longer. I have to peel away the emotional layers of what happened, and how I am letting my weight hide me from the rest of the world. Sure, it was a form of protection and comfort to have insulation against what I saw as negative / threatening attention I got as a thinner version of myself, but the fat suit I wear is also a hinderance. I've since married an amazing man who loves me for me in any form, and I want to give him the best version of *me* I can. I also want to be able to run, climb, hike, swim, etc. uninhibited. Those reasons are now more important than staying socially invisible. I love myself enough to at least keep the effort going, and I'm worth the progress, no matter how slowly it goes at times.

    We will all have our struggles, I think it's important to isolate what the extra weight symbolizes in your own life, what you need to come to terms with, and be kind to yourself in your journey. I know MFP members who maybe do not have more involved reasons for extra weight are far from supportive, because they don't understand the circumstances. It's almost taboo to admit you're having an issue staying on track. I've seen people make fun of and shame people who stick their toes in the "help me, please!" pool, and it's ugly. This is the first time I am sharing my story, so hopefully they will be somewhat introspective about what I've said, and how a rapist can impact another human being, years later.

    Yes, I want success, and yes I am working on it. Will it take me longer than the average person? Maybe, maybe not. Time, dedication, and continued therapy will tell. But in the meantime, I'm proud of the progress I've made, and I haven't quit yet.
  • LKM54
    LKM54 Posts: 48 Member
    If people do not have a binging disorder or use food for mask feelings, it is very hard for them to understand it. On one post a guy commented will power. For me, he was trying to be supportive but just doesn't get it.

    This is my recommendation it is easier to work out then not binge. At least, I find that to be true. As Nike slogan says, just do it! Decide no matter what you are going to work out 5 days a week and then just do it. For me, if I do it first thing in the morning it is done. I find that way I cannot make an excuse not to do it. At least that can be a goal.

    As far as the binging goes, at 53 I am tired of it. I am not sure why I have been able to work through so many issues in my life and the food issue still dogs me. I guess on some level I don't want to let it go. In any case, this week has been really hard. I binged about 3 days. I am being kind to myself and thinking this week will be better. I think you just keep keeping on. Once you start working out it becomes a habit, and you will miss it when you don't do it.

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