Do you ever wonder if YOU'RE the reason you're single?

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Replies

  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I know I'm my own reason. Not sure I would call it being 'picky' but the older I get the less time and effort I want to put into dating the wrong person - even a first date! I would much rather be alone and do things I enjoy than spend time with someone I'm itching to get away from! :laugh:
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Why when I could be spending quality time with that person now, must I wait until I'm 47, or after my kids have grown and gone. It just frustrates the heck out of me.

    This is a self-imposed idea though. Do you think you must wait until your kids are grown to find someone?
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,344 Member
    I don't have to wonder. I know it's the reason I'm single.

    this.

    even if it's the wrong person you pick you still have to ask yourself why do you pick the wrong person.. so i pretty much think everyone who is single is single because of themself.

    ETA. just wanted to put it out there that i'm not picky. my problem is that sometimes i just dont want tpo be bothered with having to answer to anyone else. obviously that makes it hard to be in a relatioship since i pretty much only want to see that person when i want to see them :laugh:
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,633 Member
    I know it's me. My ex-bf and I have this together-but-not-together relationship and neither of us is going to move on until we get out of eachother's lives. I just don't want to right now. My therapist is always talking about "needs being met" and right now he meets enough of mine to not want to move on. But, I will.... someday.

    OMG JK - I just had that conversation yesterday with mine, and today I'm so friggin sad about the whole thing. Ugh. It's like I've broken up with him again! Ugh. Her statement was that she just didn't want to see me get hurt again, I already know I'm gonna get hurt again, I've know it since the day I split with him. - Sorry didn't mean to butt into the conversation here......slowly backing out...
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,633 Member
    Why when I could be spending quality time with that person now, must I wait until I'm 47, or after my kids have grown and gone. It just frustrates the heck out of me.

    This is a self-imposed idea though. Do you think you must wait until your kids are grown to find someone?
    It's a band-aid PaJorg, it truly is. Do I think I have to wait? no not really. But I also watched my mother be single (dated two guys that I know of briefly) every since she and dad divorced almost 20 YEARS AGO!! :sad:
    I think that's what freaks me out, and makes me want to put the bandaid on it.
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
    I know it's me. My ex-bf and I have this together-but-not-together relationship and neither of us is going to move on until we get out of eachother's lives. I just don't want to right now. My therapist is always talking about "needs being met" and right now he meets enough of mine to not want to move on. But, I will.... someday.

    OMG JK - I just had that conversation yesterday with mine, and today I'm so friggin sad about the whole thing. Ugh. It's like I've broken up with him again! Ugh. Her statement was that she just didn't want to see me get hurt again, I already know I'm gonna get hurt again, I've know it since the day I split with him. - Sorry didn't mean to butt into the conversation here......slowly backing out...

    Crystal- I have said it before, I think, our ex's must be twins!!
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,757 Member
    Most of my singledom has definitely been because of me. The prime time I should have been looking for relationships was college as you are surrounded with people your own age and it is so easy to meet them (compared to after). My weight had really taken down my self esteem and I didn't make those connections.

    Now, I have the confidence, hobbies, and happiness with myself, but still struggle with the weight. The women I am interested in physically just aren't interested in me. If I don't want to settle, why would they?
    Mine is a bit of this
    I have different ideas about why I am single. My main reason is because of me. I don't make time for dating. I don't look, I am not online, and I make zero effort. I am doing this for many reasons though. I am not confident enough about me to put myself out there and I really don't have the time.

    When I feel more confident, I might make the effort. I can deal with not dating but damn I really miss the sex. lol
    and this too.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    I also do not make time for it. I know that is the reason. I put no effort into looking. I am on match but I might check it once every 1-2 weeks.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,011 Member
    In matters of the heart, I think your expectations SHOULD be high!! Why would you settle for someone not right for you?

    Like I said, you just haven't met the one yet. :flowerforyou:

    Took me until I was 32, so don't give up yet! I agree, when it fits, it fits.. whether you are fluffy or not!
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,444 Member

    Oh my good Lord!! :laugh:

    That's got to be a troll post!?
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,757 Member

    Oh my good Lord!! :laugh:

    That's got to be a troll post!?
    Nah, I think it's sound advice. I say we sticky this link at the top for Single Peeps. What say you, Poncho? 2 out of 3 and we do this? :bigsmile:
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member

    Oh my good Lord!! :laugh:

    That's got to be a troll post!?
    Nah, I think it's sound advice. I say we sticky this link at the top for Single Peeps. What say you, Poncho? 2 out of 3 and we do this? :bigsmile:

    WRONG!!!! lol! that's just WRONG!!! SMDH!!! :noway:
  • Smiling_Sara
    Smiling_Sara Posts: 203 Member
    I know I'm the reason. Too much anxiety/scared of getting hurt
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member

    Oh my good Lord!! :laugh:

    That's got to be a troll post!?
    Nah, I think it's sound advice. I say we sticky this link at the top for Single Peeps. What say you, Poncho? 2 out of 3 and we do this? :bigsmile:

    WRONG!!!! lol! that's just WRONG!!! SMDH!!! :noway:

    okay you all know that the onion is a satire site, right? This is a made up story.
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,633 Member

    Oh my good Lord!! :laugh:

    That's got to be a troll post!?
    Nah, I think it's sound advice. I say we sticky this link at the top for Single Peeps. What say you, Poncho? 2 out of 3 and we do this? :bigsmile:

    Bahahahaha - Love it I'll be #3. :drinker: I love the Onion.
  • OperationSuperKAT
    OperationSuperKAT Posts: 886 Member
    I am single because I am too busy. Most of the time I don't even think about it, but sometimes the loneliness does hit. Oh well, at this point I'm not willing to give up everything I'm doing, so generally I am ok with being single :drinker:
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    I am single because I am too busy. Most of the time I don't even think about it, but sometimes the loneliness does hit. Oh well, at this point I'm not willing to give up everything I'm doing, so generally I am ok with being single :drinker:

    I have a lot of this going on. Plus, my nomadic nature doesn't help. I get lonely a lot, but I've dealt with it so long that I'm just used to it at this point. Probably not a good way to look at life, but oh well.
  • drapisking
    drapisking Posts: 73 Member
    Oh, I am most definitely the problem. Any girl willing to put up with my lifestyle would have to be crazy, and I'm not interested in putting up with a crazy girl.
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
    I've just recently broke up with my ex and I blame both of us, we were to passionate to back down and we didn't compromise enough.

    personally, I think I am an excellent partner, I treat my lady well, I am an old fashioned romantic and loyal. I just think its all about how you suit the other person, you can have an amazing chemistry and still not work (that happened to me)

    working together to balance the relationship is the key in my opinion