Okay so I am five years out from this coming to fruition as things stand at the moment, but I have been struggling back and forth with this decision for years to be honest, and now it is made I feel like a burden has been lifted.

In 2019 I am leaving America and returning to England for good.

And the more I say it, the better I feel. America has been home to me, I have a job, car, house but there was always something missing and that something is a family unit. I am alone here with my husband. He has three sons and three grandchildren that because of his ex wife and other families we barely ever spend time with and I certainly don't play a proper Grandmother role in their lives.

My daughter has a 2 year old girl I have never met and is expecting another in September. I completely missed the childhoods of my eldest three grandchildren who are now 18, 16 and 13. I have been here for almost 12 years. I need my children and grandchildren around me.

I think I have made my decision the right way. I will retire early at 62 and leave. Although I can't get my UK pension for four and a half years after that I will have income and can get temp work if needs be. Over the next five years is getting our credit rating strong and our underwater house ready to rent out if that is the best way to go. I also need to save up to take my animals with me.

I can't wait to go home. England, for me, truly is the greatest country in the world.

Over the last few days I have been overeating, I think it is a reaction to all of this, this morning I am going out to brunch with a friend.

I feel at peace.