Surgery Regrets

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I had my surgery on June 18. For the first week afterwards I cried and was depressed, I was regretting the surgery. Now of course I have accepted the fact that it's done and over with and I will make sure that it was not all done for nothing. I am down 26lbs and am excited to continue the journey. I was just wondering if anyone else had regrets afterwards, is this normal?
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Replies

  • asia1967
    asia1967 Posts: 707 Member
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    Holly: Sorry to hear that you are having the feeling of regret. My friend had her surgery and it took her about 6 months before she appreciated the surgery. It is life altering, and no amount of preparation can completely prepare us for all the changes. Take your time, this is all new and will take time to adjust.

    The only regret I had was not being in the proper state of mind to have the surgery sooner. It has literally been a life saver for me.

    Good luck, and be kind to yourself.
  • Hollybellalike
    Hollybellalike Posts: 6 Member
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    Thank you so much for the kind words, much appreciated!
  • bevjking77
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    Hi holly, sorry to hear your having difficulties. I had my op on Monday 30 June and thought I'd be miserable as hell. I've surprised myself and am being really positive. Maybe I've got the down period to come! Think of your health and how many yrs this will add to your life. You will be able to eat nice things again but just a bit less. In a few months time you'll be pleased and know u made the right decision. Chin up Hun xx
  • authorwriter
    authorwriter Posts: 323 Member
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    Oh wow! I soooo regretted having this surgery on Day 3. I was heaving and dehydrated and if I'd had the energy to find the medical waste bucket they'd dumped the removed half of my stomach into, I'd have hauled it out, handed it to my surgeon and told her "Put it back."

    Then I stopped puking.

    Sounds like you've had phenomenal weight loss so far. You will feel better and better every day. I'm a little over 7 wks out and I still struggle several times daily with 'was this REALLY a good idea?' but then I get out of my chair twice as fast as I did before the surgery and tell myself, 'Yes, it was.'

    Hang in there. You're recovering. It gets better.
  • relentless2121
    relentless2121 Posts: 431 Member
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    Hi Holly... great minds think alike. lol. What I mean by that is I also started a thread on this topic about a month ago. I'm not sure if you can still bring it up or not but if you go back and search the topic you might still be able to read it. I posed the question about whether people had regretted having the surgery. There was also a lot of discussion on depression.

    I haven't had my surgery yet so I can't offer any feedback based on my own experience, but I would think that at time some of us go through a grieving process with our former relationship with food. I have been warned by my GP and other Dr. that some people who already suffer from depression are more depressed after surgery. At this point I find that hard to believe but again I don't have my own experience to base that on. I hope this is helpful to you. I see that you are new. Welcome to the forum. :flowerforyou:
  • Mangopickle
    Mangopickle Posts: 1,509 Member
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    Treat this as an amazing Grace given to you by God. Your relationship with food has been completely revealed. You now understand how you have used food a an emotional crutch to get thru your day. We all understand. obesity is 90% Why we eat not what we eat. I laughingly say now i never had time to be depressed when i was obese because i preloaded with fabulous, rich food every morning and thruout the day. i would be ridiculously upset if a meal was not any good and within 40 min of eating it anyway i would be looking for another meal to deliver the high. I broke up with food 2 yrs ago. I was literally eating myself to death and even though i was active, more 5K walks than i can count, 5 1/2 marathon walks. My perfect blood pressure went away, my blood sugar began to rise and i developed sleep apnea.. I began to work closely with my Priest on my gluttony problem. I began to be more accepting of the hardships of life as part of the greater matrix of Glory. Loved ones were going to die, people were gonna get cancer, lose jobs, go broke , etc. Facing Life with Fortitude and Temperance would reveal the opportunities for Grace. And at best i finally admitted to myself the food never gave me more than 5 min of enjoyment-thats why i always wanted one more treat. Now when death and destruction come in to my life, i grieve, i cry, i pray, i deal.....i do not eat to run away from the pain. i also avoid celebrating too much with food. You really will probably be able to eat everything again in 5 months......the question will be, will you choose you or will you choose food. We have free will, it will be your choice. Saying a prayer for you. St Maximillian Kolbe and Mary were and are great mentors in my food addiction process of recovery. i highly recommend them. God Bless :)
  • dsjsmom23
    dsjsmom23 Posts: 234 Member
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    I had my surgery on June 18. For the first week afterwards I cried and was depressed, I was regretting the surgery. Now of course I have accepted the fact that it's done and over with and I will make sure that it was not all done for nothing. I am down 26lbs and am excited to continue the journey. I was just wondering if anyone else had regrets afterwards, is this normal?

    You just described me, minus the crying. I was in a major funk. My hormones were all over the place though. I had MAJOR regrets for the first few days. I had my surgery on Tuesday June 24. I woke up on the Saturday after my surgery, and just decided "enough is enough"
    I realized THIS is my new normal. There was nothing I could do to change it back, so I sucked it up, and decided to do what I needed to do. LOL

    That Saturday was the first morning that I had slept well, and i'm sure that had a lot to do with my mood. LOL

    I'm still kinda meh, but that's because i'm still on full fluids. I just want to put something in my mouth and chomp. LOL I'm sick to death of all my liquids.

    Thursday I move on to the next stage which is purees for me.
    So far i'm tolerating everything, so hopefully i'll be good moving on to the next phase.

    I'd love scrambled eggs right now! That's the thing i'm craving most! LOL
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    Post-surgery is a pretty emotional time. Not only did you just go through major surgery, but you also have to learn a whole new way of being and that can be scary and overwhelming. It's natural to have thoughts of "what did I just do?" because you are entering uncharted territory. The positive side of it is that you have a clean slate. It's a real gift to be able to start over and live this new normal. Once you are more adjusted, you start feeling better, and you start getting the hang of things, I am sure you will start to feel better!!
  • FFfitgirl
    FFfitgirl Posts: 369 Member
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    I regret mine. It's been over a year, and I have no restriction.
  • authorwriter
    authorwriter Posts: 323 Member
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    I regret mine. It's been over a year, and I have no restriction.

    Have you had the sleeve tested? What does the surgeon say? This is horrifying to hear.
  • Mangopickle
    Mangopickle Posts: 1,509 Member
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    I had my surgery on June 18. For the first week afterwards I cried and was depressed, I was regretting the surgery. Now of course I have accepted the fact that it's done and over with and I will make sure that it was not all done for nothing. I am down 26lbs and am excited to continue the journey. I was just wondering if anyone else had regrets afterwards, is this normal?

    You just described me, minus the crying. I was in a major funk. My hormones were all over the place though. I had MAJOR regrets for the first few days. I had my surgery on Tuesday June 24. I woke up on the Saturday after my surgery, and just decided "enough is enough"
    I realized THIS is my new normal. There was nothing I could do to change it back, so I sucked it up, and decided to do what I needed to do. LOL

    That Saturday was the first morning that I had slept well, and i'm sure that had a lot to do with my mood. LOL

    I'm still kinda meh, but that's because i'm still on full fluids. I just want to put something in my mouth and chomp. LOL I'm sick to death of all my liquids.

    Thursday I move on to the next stage which is purees for me.
    So far i'm tolerating everything, so hopefully i'll be good moving on to the next phase.

    I'd love scrambled eggs right now! That's the thing i'm craving most! LOL

    Have you tried Gordon Ramseys method of scrambling eggs?- SSOOOO yummy!
  • dsjsmom23
    dsjsmom23 Posts: 234 Member
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    I had my surgery on June 18. For the first week afterwards I cried and was depressed, I was regretting the surgery. Now of course I have accepted the fact that it's done and over with and I will make sure that it was not all done for nothing. I am down 26lbs and am excited to continue the journey. I was just wondering if anyone else had regrets afterwards, is this normal?

    You just described me, minus the crying. I was in a major funk. My hormones were all over the place though. I had MAJOR regrets for the first few days. I had my surgery on Tuesday June 24. I woke up on the Saturday after my surgery, and just decided "enough is enough"
    I realized THIS is my new normal. There was nothing I could do to change it back, so I sucked it up, and decided to do what I needed to do. LOL

    That Saturday was the first morning that I had slept well, and i'm sure that had a lot to do with my mood. LOL

    I'm still kinda meh, but that's because i'm still on full fluids. I just want to put something in my mouth and chomp. LOL I'm sick to death of all my liquids.

    Thursday I move on to the next stage which is purees for me.
    So far i'm tolerating everything, so hopefully i'll be good moving on to the next phase.

    I'd love scrambled eggs right now! That's the thing i'm craving most! LOL

    Have you tried Gordon Ramseys method of scrambling eggs?- SSOOOO yummy!

    No, I can't have scrambled eggs yet :(
    I have to wait until 4 weeks according to my program. Boo!
  • Ksh1055
    Ksh1055 Posts: 248 Member
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    Fortunately, I have had no problems post-surgery, other than what used to be normal body functions, that are now completely different. Depression was a major concern of mine since I have been under treatment for this for the past few years and take medication to help keep it under control. I also had no issues of any kind post surgery otherwise I may very well have suffered more depression than usual.

    I waited until I was absolutely certain I had the mindset (commitment, dedication, motivation and accountability) to do whatever it takes to be successful. In fact, at 5 months out, I feel energized and more like the person I used to be and that motivates me even more. MFP friends have played a huge part in my continued focus on being a success by their input and advice. My family is very supportive and noticing positive changes in both my physical person and my mental/emotional health. That's not saying there won't be some bumps along my new journey, but really believe I will be able to continue with my current attitude.

    I wish you the best and hope the depression and regrets subside as you begin to lost weight and see your quality of life improve.
  • bikrchk
    bikrchk Posts: 516 Member
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    ZERO regrets unless you count, "why didn't I do this sooner"!
  • Thaeda
    Thaeda Posts: 834 Member
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    Regrets? Oh heck yeah!! I was FULL of remorse and had crazy mood swings and was wondering why the heck I did this for about the first 4-6 weeks! Seriously-- I felt anxious, sad, overwhelmed-- name it. It will pass. Keep doing the next right thing. Keep taking care of yourself. It gets better.
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
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    ZERO regrets unless you count, "why didn't I do this sooner"!

    ^^^^^THIS!!!!
  • JreedyJanelle
    JreedyJanelle Posts: 645 Member
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    Right after surgery when I still had pain, I thought 'what the hell did I just do'. But now as I see the scale move downwards I am thrilled. Each day I get on that scale I am thankful for the surgery. There are days when it stays the same, but I have never had a gain. I have done every diet that is out there and yes I would lose wt, and then nothing. Frustration would set in and depression would follow. Then I would eat again. Well now I can't eat much and honestly I have never felt better. I so wish I had done this sooner.
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
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    Hi Holly. My only regret was not having it sooner than age 55. What I remember feeling was overwhelmed at trying to keep all the information straight, get in the protein, how to keep track (I didn't know about this site at that point), how I could possibly get all the water in, etc. I cried a lot in frustration because I felt so overwhelmed, but I never regretted my decision. Even now, 3 years out and still working towards goal (I lose slow and stall often), I am so happy I did this. I never would be 160 pounds down and mobile again if I hadn't have had it done.

    Pat
  • lucyw70
    lucyw70 Posts: 37 Member
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    Hang in there Holly. Like others my only regret is not having it sooner. I am still getting use to what I can eat and the amount. It seems to get easier each day. I usually stop eating pretty quickly just to make sure that I don't overeat (I really hate to feel full). This forum has been a great support and have learned a lot through reading other people's experiences.
  • plmelquist
    plmelquist Posts: 42
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    Hi there,

    I had my surgery on 4/28 and my first full day home I struggled with "what have I done?" Not that I felt bad, just shocked that I had made such a radical move. I was back to normal by that night and haven't looked back since. I can tell you that as of today I'm 9 weeks out, I can eat anything and drink anything. Normal will return, I promise.:laugh: