Learning in OA, that you can not do this alone has been the biggest factor for me. It seems as though trying to do it alone, says that you are in the dark about your disease, you are afraid and fearful of the disease and you are still trying to run the show with yourself and the disease. When you come to realize that you no longer fear and will face it, is when you truly can tackle what is happening.

OA has any tools and the 12 steps is the tools, email, text, phone meetings, online meetings, sponsors, members, we are all here to help and to recover from this addiction and madness
Nothing can be done without your HP, placing your fear into the hands of your HP.

Thanks for this last night i was at a meeting and the topic was fear. Im scared to ho in public as i was always the thin one well not always but the majority of my adult life i gained 10kgs from quitting smoking what seems like overnight my diet stayed the same myactivity and stress levels ddropped though i noticed once i came off nrt i put on im now back to my old ways as a teen taking laxatives and diet pills. Im a healthy weight see pic but to me i think otherwise i don't want to ho in public constant fear even at meetings when i share i think people think what a fatty she wouldn't of starved. My diet is so restricted its sugar free gluten dairy free and vegan. Except for fish i also obsess on nutritional value. I know i have a whacked eating disorder and the thing is in the last few weeks of being back at o. A i am actually improving like i take Lil miss to pre school. I've also learnt that eating 9 oranges at once doesn't make me the worst person in the world. Like my partner said you could of gone out and brought a bottle of burbon weed smokes and drugs but u had a minor binge. Im starting to see the sense in it especially when he puts it like that as doon as i have extra than 3meals i take laxatives so todaymy goal is to stick to 3 meals i have planned.

Good on ya for going vegan. You do feel much better being vegan and its less work for your digestive system there's actually articles on google explaining how humans were designed to be herbivores i did mine for animal rights i was vegetarian ad much as possiblefrom 12 oonwards after my dad made me eat my pet cow. Then transitioned to vegan from 18-19 im 26 now. :-) my coe is whacked but ive found with every meeting and every time im in contact with o. A people i improve. :-) and that is an absolute miracle. With my food I've been writing it down and then logging it on here. Feel free to have a look i sometimes doubt if its good enough im focusing on 3 meals a day no skipping no binging. No over exercising no laxatives. 2days in so far and everyday i remain abstinence i feel heaps better! your right about binge foods. When im hard out in it i could eat anything! Morals ho out the door and i don't care about animal rights and my coeliacs. Then i feel like the worst person in the world and punish myself for it. I haven't been like that for quite some time so that's good :-) your very wise how long have you been part of o. A for?