A couple of years ago, I went through a 4 week eating disorder program (called "partial hospitalization"--basically from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. every day during the week). Every morning when the nurse took my vitals, she would listen to my abdomen with her stethoscope, and she would say, "nope, nothing yet." Because my eating was so erratic--usually binging in the evening and then starving myself all day--my body was not digesting food as it should. It was hoarding it rather than processing it. , And I honestly never felt what I would call physical hunger. Rather, I kept feeling "brain" hunger--this compulsive need to eat food that would trigger the release of endorphins, so sugar and fat, high carb stuff.

In the program, we ate three meals and two snacks every day. The first week or so, after every meal I would feel exhausted and cold. The nurse explained that in order to learn to digest again, my body was directing more blood flow to my organs and less to my appendages. Around day five, when she was listening to my abdomen, she said, "ah ha!" and then she let me listen. For the first time, there were actually NOISES in my belly. My stomach was working again. By the end of the four weeks, I had actually learned to recognize physical hunger again, something I hadn't been able to do since childhood.

I try to remember this when I'm tempted to skip meals. Our bodies are designed to conserve during famine, and we can create false famines by not eating. One of my colleagues lost quite a bit of weight last year, and she said her secret was that she started eating more and more often. I'm trying to keep 100 calorie, high protein snacks in the fridge. Yoghurt, hard boiled eggs. cheese sticks.

Now all I need is a pair of tall, muscley, tanned men to feed me my snacks in the studio and fan me with palm fronds when the air gets too still.
Karen