I have gone into this with my eyes wide open and anything that is thought of as a "negative" is far out weighed by my health.

I take Advil periodically, but if you are taking it daily you might to look at an alternative
I drink a lot of soda and enjoy it, but am more than willing to give it up
Straws? Is this really going to get in your way of your health?
Sleeping on your stomach? I believe this will only be an issue while your stomach is healing, but that is just during healing, unless there is something I am missing.
Beef is not out of your diet for good, I know multiple people who have had RNY and they enjoy steak.

If these minor things actually are swaying your decision, I would do some soul searching. I would suspect there are other underlying things swaying you. Sorry if this sounded harsh, it just sounds like a list of minor inconveniences.

I am struggling with if I really want surgery or not. Looking at all the things I will never be able to have is kind of freaking me out. This is normal right? It isn't as hard as I am making it seem to give up all of the following right?

NSAIDS/Aleve/Advil -- this is my biggest worry because I take a form of them daily almost
Soda/carbonation -- I do drink a lot of carbonated beverages but I guess this will be doable
Straws -- I drink everything through a straw -- I am trying to drink out of glasses starting now
Rice/pasta/bread
Sleeping on stomach -- I am trying to train myself to sleep on my side - no luck yet
Steak/beef

The soonest I'd be approved for surgery is in a month.

NSAIDS - I used to take Aleve daily but since I have had surgery and lost weight, I haven't needed to. No more back pain, knee pain, or foot pain.
Sodas/Carbonation - You will get used to living without them.
Straws - you will get used to not using them.
Rice/Pasta/Bread - you can get used to not having them, or having much less of them.
Sleeping on your stomach - I am a stomach sleeper. Still am. Just had to be careful the first week or so after surgery.
Steak/Beef - I eat beef on a regular basis.

Having this surgery was the best thing I have done for my health and quality of life. We have all tried and failed - if not, we wouldn't have had or be considering surgery. I think it's normal to have reservations. It's a big deal to have surgery. You said that in 30 years of dieting you haven't been able to stick to anything, but you will really need to commit to this and have faith in yourself. You can do it if you want to.

ETA - I have had zero complications, I recovered well, and I have chosen to have therapy on my own in addition to going to support groups.

NSAIDS - Yes, this part does suck sometimes, however I believe that those with the VSG are still allowed to take them. Personally it's been 2 years for me and I've done okay without them. I have found that I need much, much less medication now than I used to. I used to get aches all the time, where as now I'm stronger and fitter and just don't hurt as much.

Carbonated beverages - I still have beer every once in awhile, however have not touched soda. Quite honestly, I don't miss it. I dumped that 2 liter a day habit cold turkey.
Straws - Drinking out of a glass isn't that hard. It's just a matter of retraining yourself. Using straws won't kill you, as long as you let the liquid sit in your mouth for a few seconds to get the air out, and make sure not to drink too fast.
Rice/pasta/bread - okay, this one seems harder than it really is. I haven't touched rice or pasta since surgery. Bread, yes I've done, but it's only one slice maybe one a week. I don't miss them at all. There are good substitutes for everything. Sub Quinoa for rice. Sub zucchini or spaghetti squash for pasta. Sub wraps for bread.
Steak/beef - Really? Who told you this? I'm 22 months post op and have beef at least once a week. I've been eating steak since about 7 months post-op. The key is in the chewing. You simply have to make sure everything is well chewed to applesauce consistency.


The point is, once you are far enough out, you eat "normally". You are concentrating on the short term, and honestly, it's not that long. The main part of the restrictions really only last about 6 months. The point is that this surgery is a tool to allow you to change your lifestyle. Keep an open mind for foods, for trying new things. There are entire websites dedicated to gastric bypass recipes and lifestyles. You have to want to do these things. Yes, I questioned them before the surgery, but I questioned my ability to do it long term. However I wanted my weight gone, I wanted my life back enough I was willing to commit to the changes. Yes, I still "cheat" in terms of food. However I discovered that this surgery gave me the willpower I needed to say no to most foods. I think you'll find you have much more willpower than you ever thought possible. There will be times you don't even want to look at food.

Edit: Oh, forgot to mention. My wife and I both did the RNY and had zero complications. Well, okay, I have an on and off issue with constipation, however I've learned how to manage it without medication. Both my wife and know this was the best decision that we've ever made. Our quality of life and self-confidence are both so much better than what they used to be.

Not harsh at all - thank you!

Surgery scares me. Like I am afraid I will get ALL of the complications possible. I am also worried that in the 30 years I've been dieting I've never been able to stick to anything. So what if I don't stick to this long term too.

I was shocked my insurance only required 1 psych visit and it was 10 minutes of really nothing. Maybe I need to look for my own psych to work on some of this stuff.

First off, I had the Gastric Sleeve, so things like no Advil/Asprin products after surgery and a lot of the rest of what RNY patients have to live with don't apply to me. I can understand your concern about that though and it's part of why I had the sleeve. But I want you to know it's normal to question your decision no matter which surgery you chose. I lost 20 pounds prior to surgery and had the normal but really stupid thought that maybe I can do this without the surgery? Truth is I had NEVER been successful at long term weight loss, always stalled and then regained. That's what made it a stupid thought. And then there's the worry that this won't work any more than anything else has. Well I'm 3 years out, 162 pounds down and working on getting the last 64 off. Yes it's slow, but it is working!.

I haven't found it hard to give up my trigger foods and I don't feel deprived. I think it's because this is my choice, my decision. RNY, Sleeve and all the rest of the weight loss surgeries are really only tools. Whichever one you have, it's a tool. Use that tool the way it's meant to be used and you will lose the excess weight. Keep using that tool for the rest of your life (in other words, don't go back to old eating habits and no exercise) and you will keep the weight off.

One more thing. I still have arthritis, I always will, but 99% of the time now I am pain free. I still carry the Aleve, but I rarely need it anymore. Some of what you need now, as the weight comes off you won't need anymore. The bonuses to weight loss are so much better than Aleve, carbonated beverages, rice/pasta/bread, etc.! You know?

Not harsh at all - thank you!

Surgery scares me. Like I am afraid I will get ALL of the complications possible. I am also worried that in the 30 years I've been dieting I've never been able to stick to anything. So what if I don't stick to this long term too.

I was shocked my insurance only required 1 psych visit and it was 10 minutes of really nothing. Maybe I need to look for my own psych to work on some of this stuff.

My husband and I both had RNY (2 months apart). Neither of us had a single complication at the time of surgery. I ended up being allergic to the 1st acid inhibitor prescribed and broke out in hives. It was a lousy couple of days on liquid children's benedryl and a new prescription and I was fine. My husband ended up having his gal bladder removed about 2 months post op. He had his 1st gall attack on a Tuesday night, the bariatric surgeon wanted to see him Wed. He was in surgery on Thursday and they kept him overnight because he was jaundiced so he came home on Friday. He missed work on Thursday and Friday and was back Monday morning. We both felt great post op and were back to work within a week.

As far as the sticking to it issue. RNY won't solve all your problems. But it will buy you enough time through force, to change your habits. It won't be that you "cheat" on your diet and blow it so you quit. For a while you will be unable to cheat without really hurting yourself and that keeps you from doing it. After a while you can totally cheat and sabotage yourself if you really want to, but by the time you get to that point physically you have changed your habits. Most of the time we don't stick to diets long enough to really change our habits (6 months, a year, 2 years). With surgery you really don't get a choice. By the time you do, your habits have changed.

I have steak all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. You just need to wait until you are cleared for general diet and make sure to chew chew chew (or get a really tender cut like a filet mignon!)

Also, a lot of people give up bread/pasta/rice because they are carb sensitive or they are hard to go down. I occasionally have pasta and rice. I do not seem to have carb sensitivity and they do not bother me going down. Still, I do like to keep an overall eyeball on my carbs and try not to go over a certain amount each day.

I'm not a stomach sleeper, but after a week or two you will be able to roll over on your tummy and sleep on it just fine. I'm a side sleeper and had to hug my body pillow and ease over onto it for about a week and a half or so while I was healing.

I do not miss pop one bit. Once you detox off of the sugar/sweet drinks you feel so much better. Straws are bad - you just gulp down unnecessary air with them. With your newer smaller tummy, trust me, you will not want all that excess air in there!

In regard to the NSAIDS, yeah that was hard. Occasionally I still have a bit of knee pain after an overly robust workout, but I try to rest it, ice it and treat it gently. I do notice that issues like this take much less time to go away than they did when I was 60 lbs heavier. I imagine as I lose more weight this will not be an issue for me at all. For headaches and stuff, a tylenol will work fine for me.

I am struggling with if I really want surgery or not. Looking at all the things I will never be able to have is kind of freaking me out. This is normal right? It isn't as hard as I am making it seem to give up all of the following right?

NSAIDS/Aleve/Advil -- this is my biggest worry because I take a form of them daily almost
Soda/carbonation -- I do drink a lot of carbonated beverages but I guess this will be doable
Straws -- I drink everything through a straw -- I am trying to drink out of glasses starting now
Rice/pasta/bread
Sleeping on stomach -- I am trying to train myself to sleep on my side - no luck yet
Steak/beef

The soonest I'd be approved for surgery is in a month.

First off, no you won't be able to take the NSAIDS/Aleve/Advil, BUT...
Who says you can't drink from a straw? I do. Or eat rice, pasta, or bread? I do. Or sleep on your stomach? Why not? I do. And you can eat beef or steak. Just chew it well. Geez. Moderation is the key here. Soda--I was a HUGE diet sodaholic, but soda's carbonation is difficult because of the burping/not burping. Some can still do it, but I can't. Maybe a sip or so, but no more.
Rice or pasta--shoot for whole grains. Limit the breads, but carbs are GOOD. Sara Lee Delightful 45 cal multi grain or wheat bread is awesome in its fiber and protein content, and lavash or flax bread is fantastic! Rice--brown rice or even white is okay--just small amounts. Remember anyway that a serving is 1/3 cup.
I went into this RNY with my eyes wide open, but have a surgeon and dietitian who work together and are realistic. NO ONE can live on rabbit food or no carb forever happily--well not easily for sure. I am 23 months post op and I enjoy a cupcake or cookie when I want and do not starve. I have maintained at normal BMI (mid range) since I was 8 months post op. Weight loss surgery does not mean you have to drop out of the human race. Oh, and I still eat fast food too.

I had to do a 6 month weight loss class for my insurance company before begining the procedure at the doctor's office. Every single day during that time I changed my mind. I too was worried about all the food I would never be able to eat again.

One day I realized it wasn't actually the food but what the food represented...food was my best friend and I was afraid of losing it. But what kind of best friend makes you feel good for a minute and then makes you feel guilt, shame, hopelessness for hours and hours afterwards???

I had RNY in December 2009 and have done well with a few setbacks. I can eat pretty much whatever I want but I have to take it slow!

Prior to surgery I drank at least 4 diet pepsi's a day and was horrified at the thought of never having one again! Well guess what?? I've tried diet pepsi since surgery and I do not like it anymore!! I've tried it a few different times and both times I hated the taste! I'm perfectly happy with my Crystal Light!

I can eat steak, beef, pork, bread, pasta, and sweets...but I have to eat it slowly or I get a stomach ache.

I am so happy I had the surgery because I feel so much better than I did before! And you will too!!

It seems like a lot to do and it is but take it all one step at a time.

Start now! Dump the straws...who needs them???

The hardest for me was no drinking during meals. My family would drink a ton of liquid with meals and it took a lot of time to adjust but I did it!

Just keep doing things and it will become a habit! Believe in yourself!! :flowerforyou: