I don't know about eating more when I drink less water, but I have been struggling for WEEKS on my water. And now, with this new set of meds, it has been even more difficult. I don't think I got even 60 some ounces yesterday, and for me lately, that was a GOOD day. What is weird, though, is my urine has still been pretty light, so I seriously just don't know. If I drink something other than water, it is slightly easier, but even that has been a challenge. I don't know what is going on with my body right now, but I really don't like it.

That being said - Heather - LOVELOVE this dress on you... I've never been a dress kind of girl...maybe because even when I was a size 8, I had thighs that rubbed together and welted up in rashes and irritations. Heck, when I was a size 14 in girls I had that problem. So I can't remember the last time I was able to wear a dress or skirt comfortably without shorts underneath. I used to get away with being able to wear tights or control hose with thigh panels, but that has been more than a decade since I could do that... Maybe that should be one of my goals??

Also, our newest member is another Heather, Mountain Heather, I think, from her "handle." But her story in the intro thread really got me thinking. How many of us are too stubborn for our own good? We muscle through, thinking we don't need help, help makes us weak, others deserve help, but we are failures if we need it? We are strong, we are determined, but almost always for others? What is it about us collectively that has us always putting ourselves last, judging ourselves harsher than others, and refusing to call out for help until it is almost too late? And after we answer these questions, how can we break this cycle?

I tried so hard to do so a few years back, and prioritizing myself destroyed relationship I had all over the place because I wasn't a doormat for people anymore. I put myself first, and I sincerely felt like I lost everything except myself. Yet, here I am, two years later, falling back into old patterns. Broke as all get out, so what is the first thing to go? Anything healthy at all I do for myself? How is that doing right by me? I can't gather the strength to pull myself out of this hole when I'm weakening myself the whole way around....

I just noticed this odd trend that seems constant amongst all of us here....and it really got me wondering, what if that, more so than so many things, is part of why we are all here in this group together now? How do we support each other, but not at the expense of ourselves? How do we break this cycle without destroying our lives in the process?

I wanna live, be happy, be healthy, and just thrive!! But I don't know where to truly start - and I don't know how not to fall into old habits. Do you?

Hugs,
Carly in mildly cooler confusing Oklahoma...

Carly, yes, yes, yes! I went through something similar to what Heather went through. I walked on a broken ankle with a torn ligament and tendon (not sure what order they occurred, but they were all diagnosed together in November) for about 2 years! For me, it was all about self blame. I'd seen a doctor initially, and his response? Exercise more. So, I'd exercise and it would hurt more. I kept pushing through, though, because the doctor basically told me it was my own fault. So, not only did I internalize that it was my fault, I had external reinforcement. Talk about guilt! I had to "be strong and push through the pain" because the doctor told me so. But, my body was SCREAMING at me, stop! Take care of yourself! I was so confused, I didn't realize that caring for myself meant that I had to take it easy. In my head, I was already taking it too easy, because the people around me needed so much.

Blame yourself, take care of others, the medical community only reinforces that it's our fault, but we don't listen to what our bodies are telling us. It's a vicious manner of thought.

I see the effects in all my relationships and during the past six months, which I gave myself to heal and get strong again, I did some emotional heavywork too. I separated myself from everyone's problems instead of taking them on as my own. I'm sure there are still areas I can improve things, but I feel so much stronger, and more capable of caring for myself. "This is not my drama", and "I can't solve your problem for you, you have to solve your problem for you" are things I'm constantly telling myself, and sometimes others. It's hard, REALLY hard. And, sometimes it feels cold and callous, but it's made a world of difference in my marriage and family life. Keeping cool and a little detached lets me keep my reserves focused on taking care of me.

Norah, I don't know if you saw, but my 13 year old daughter thinks you look fabulous in that dress you posted. She had no idea what the thread was about, but saw your picture, and said "that woman is pretty!"

Heather, that dress is great! Your husband is confident enough to purchase clothing for you? And, you like what he buys? Tell me more of this mythical man. I can't even imagine! LOL. I'm certain my husband has no idea what size I wear and whatever he would pick I'd be loathe to leave the dressing room in. You look awesome!

My husband doesn't even try to pick out clothes for me especially since I think I have about 3 different sizes in the closet.

Hi, everyone!

I am looking forward to getting to know all of you guys!

Heather, I love the dress! That is one thing that I miss (I have arm issues). I DO love a maxi dress in summer!
My name is also Heather, so If you guys want to call me HB, that's fine. My dad actually called me HB the whole time growing up because of the whole Heather Bether rhyming thing. Then I married a Belletete and I really became HB!

VERY cute dress, Heather! Zac, congrats on hitting the 3's!!! I wrote a long message to you in MOBO MOTO. Hello to the new faces here. Nice to "meet" you.

Weather in Maine has been cool and rainy the past few days, not great lake swimming days, but I've managed to get my exercise in anyway. Today if the sun ever starts shining, I'm going for a half hour of aquasize and an hour of laps.

I've been doing a challenge with a few other people--just basics of water, calories, exercise--and it is really helping me stay on track. It's so easy to say, "awww... I'll just skip the exercise today," but because of the challenge, that means losing a point, or if I go over my calories, same thing.

Karen

Hi all, nothing much to say today, its yucky weather here so badminton is out this week, got some yoga and marching done though. Hanging on, and hoping the cheese lunch / supper yesterday doesnt hang on too tightly for next weigh in lol.

Did anyone see Extreme Weightloss tonight? The woman who lost 176 pounds in a year was great. Best parts of the show for me were how 1) she needed to drop the emotional baggage and guilt of giving up here baby for adoption and 2) how she needed to have her husband fully on board with her lifestyle change in order for it to work.

My hubs didn't watch the show with me, but he listened from the other room and periodically stuck his head in to see her progress and to comment. I think it was good for him to hear it. He's made some changes to accommodate me (like not bringing sweets into the house) but could definitely do more. I try to drag him to the gym (he used to go at least 3 X each week with me, but never goes now) and I'm definitely cooking healthier, but he'll bring home a bag of chips and eat almost the whole thing before dinner, then I'm stuck with them in the house as a temptation.

Tomorrow I think we'll have a chat and decide whether he's in or out. He needs to lose weight too. Not as much as me, but at least 100 pounds, but I can't force him to be ready. On the other hand, if he's not going to change his lifestyle to a more active, healthier one, I'm going to leave him in the dust.

What do you all do?
K.

Probably shouldn't weigh in on this since I am not married and haven't had a serious relationship in some time but I will give my two cense since I've had similar experiences.

I think you said it best when you mentioned that he needs to come to the mindset on his own in order to be ready to make the change. This isn't to say he shouldn't know what your thinking or feeling or that you shouldn't talk to him about it. But I am reminded of the emotional ups and downs we have all been through with past and failed weightless experiences, and the importance of having come to the place where we have fully excepted that the change is needed and needed now. I think that personal acceptance is very important. more important then wanting to be thinner or healthier is the emotional and psychological acceptance (which is so much different then will power). It's in my mind, what makes this time os much different then the last.

When i was working up to that point I had family that was pushing my to loose weight, to exercise, to change my life style. I knew it was and is well intended and done out of love and concern. But I left a great deal of resentment, and sometime anger, towards them for it. It felt like judgment, and to a certain extent it was. I was failing, they were aware of it and so was I. It's a complicated thing. All of which made me more resistant to wanting to make the change. I had to come to that place on my own, otherwise If I had given into them I would have only failed again and re-experienced everything that goes with that failing.

So I hope talking with him works and goes well, but he needs to be in that place for it to really work for him. Which I hope he is. Otherwise all you can be is an example for him.

Ah, grasshopper... you are so wise for one so young. :happy:

My husband bought me this dress yesterday. I am wearing it today. This is me trying it on, I am not showing my bra today, I have a different one on.

Lovely dress!! Looking good gal!!!

Nancy