Because mayo is a finicky ***** to make.

I've personally found lime juice to be a fail in mayo. Lemon juice works much better. Additionally, vinegar seems to work best for getting it to emulsify.

I much prefer the Nom Nom Paleo recipe for mayo -- http://nomnompaleo.com/post/3440774534/paleo-mayonnaise (you can use a blender, though). I also just happened across this version, but I haven't tried it, as I don't have a stick blender -- http://thehealthyfoodie.com/fail-proof-home-made-paleo-mayo-whole30-compliant/

There are a few things that I've found to be key in getting mayo right when using the Nom Nom or Our Paleo Life recipes:

1. Vinegar and lemon juice are a must. IME, lime juice just doesn't cut it, and without the vinegar, even when using lemon juice, it never set up for me.

2. Be very patient. Pouring the oil ever so slowly, even as slow as a drop at a time, is of utmost importance. If you pour too quickly, you'll lose the emulsification and ruin the batch. Also, it won't emulsify right away. I generally have to get through over half of the oil before it starts looking like it's emulsifying.

The fool proof way to make mayo is to use an immersion blender. Here's a video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i090qmXzoz4

I add 1/14 cups light olive oil, 1 large egg, 1 T vinegar (whatever you have), a pinch of salt and I add 1T Dijon). Throw it all in the cylindrical cup that comes with the blender. Stick the blender right into the liquid all the way to the bottom and push on the button. It literally turns to mayonnaise like magic and it's thick and delicious.

(http://www.amazon.com/KitchenAid-KHB1231ER-Kitchen-Hand-Blender/dp/B005GFXK1K/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1407165942&sr=8-2&keywords=kitchenaid+immersion+blender).

I have much trouble with mayo as well. No method has worked for me for about a year. I think my house may be too cold for the ingredients. I too just make my mayo soup into ranch dressing.

If you want it thick, I use 3 egg yolks, 1-2Tbsp vinegar or lemon juice, pinch dry mustard, pinch of salt, and start blending these in a blender. Then when it starts to come together and thicken a bit, start adding oil of choice (extra light olive oil, liquid coconut oil, avocado oil...). Keep adding until it gets too thick to blend further, then use a spatula to "Help" the oil down into the middle so it will blend. When it it thick enough for you like regular mayo it is done.

I use similar recipes to the ones above but always use the immersion blender method - lime juice has been a fail for me in the past as has the vinegar so I always use fresh lemon juice. The old way of adding oil drip by drip is painfully slow and in my experience more likely to fail. If I didn't have an immersion blender I wouldn't bother to make mayo.

Okay, so I actually tried the "Foolproof" version that I linked earlier. Yes, I kind of lied when I said I didn't have a stick blender -- I do have one, but it was originally earmarked for my soapmaking. Since I haven't had time lately to make soap (and therefore hadn't even opened it), I appropriated it for making mayo.

That was literally the easiest and best batch of mayo I've made to date! The first serving went to a tasty bowl of tuna salad.

Ah! Way to rub it in you jerk!

So pick up a $20 immersion blender if you don't have one and try it. :laugh:

I make mine in an older one of these Cuisinart Mini Prep Food Processors. And it works every time.

http://www.amazon.com/Cuisinart-DLC-2ABC-Mini-Prep-Processor-Brushed/dp/B0000645YM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1407357552&sr=8-1&keywords=mini+cuisinart+food+processor

I make mine in an older one of these Cuisinart Mini Prep Food Processors. And it works every time.

http://www.amazon.com/Cuisinart-DLC-2ABC-Mini-Prep-Processor-Brushed/dp/B0000645YM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1407357552&sr=8-1&keywords=mini+cuisinart+food+processor

Only methods I haven't tried are food processor and Kitchen Aid mixer. I don't have a mini prep though. The reason I haven't tried the food processor is that I hate it- getting it out, assembling it, cleaning it. It's just too much annoyance. lol Kitchen Aid same issue but easier to clean at least. I just kind of gave up on mayo, found I don't need it that much but will try a new method next time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwz6jknw574
Use this. Ingredients don't even need to sit out and get to room temp!