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Worried about what it will be like to no longer be fat?

Faemusic
Faemusic Posts: 14
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Ok, I know it sounds weird, but I also know that other people have similar thoughts --

Is anyone else worried about what it will be like to no longer be fat? I know, of course, there will be plenty of positive factors about not weighing this much anymore, but I have been "the fat kid" literally almost my entire life. There was never a "thin" or "average" stage. I feel like it will be strange to no longer identify as this person that I have always been/known. Anyone have any thoughts they want to share? Either about how you feel the same way or what this experience has been like for you if you've done it before? Thanks!

Replies

  • Ftw37
    Ftw37 Posts: 386 Member
    I'm looking forward to the first time somebody wants to insult me and doesn't use the word "fat" in the insult.

    I swear, the first person who gets truly angry at me and calls me ugly or stupid or old (and not fat) will not get the result he/she expects. I'll be so happy!

    FTW
  • starchile
    starchile Posts: 248 Member
    Hello there!

    I've been Morbidly Obese (my highest was 372) and I've been considered "average" (I was actually 250lbs but because I'm tall some people even thought that I was TOO thin. Go figure)...and I have to say that even though it was mostly good...it was DEFINITELY UNCOMFORTABLE at times! The first thing that was weird was that I wasn't used to so much positive attention...especially from men. I felt vulnerable. When I'm larger I feel PHYSICALLY more powerful and able to defend myself (one of my favorite quotes is "Fat girls are hard to kidnap" LOL) But when I lost weight It was a little unnerving. The other thing was that people who were PREVIOUSLY NOT VERY FRIENDLY to me bacame friendly and that made me question my relationships and interactions with people...whether they were genuine or not...because I was obviously still the same person.

    Anyway, here is an article that I just read that is AWESOME, on this very topic. Check it out: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13018/5-things-i-miss-about-weighing-more-than-300-pounds.html
  • Faemusic
    Faemusic Posts: 14
    Thanks so much for the link to that article, starchile! Yes, it *was* great. I've always appreciated it when people can look at their "befores" with love, appreciation, and respect instead of just loathing, disgust, and embarassment. Who you were then made you who you are now, and I recognize that as being an important thing. I went to her website afterwards and read more of her blogs -- also quite good, if you're interseted in taking a look (www.strongcoffey .com)

    It's nice to hear other people who can recognize that there ARE *some* pros to being fat -- even if it's just because you're used to it and it's who you've been for so long! I've been obese my whole life, even as a child, and diabetes runs in my family... so even though I often like who I am, regardless of being a fat person, it's time for a real change in my life, I think. Scary new journey for me... :)
  • starchile
    starchile Posts: 248 Member
    Congratulations on taking the first steps on this journey!! It can be truly difficult, painful and downright EXHAUSTING but the fact of the matter is that throughout the process we learn SO much about ourselves. I know that I have gained and lost and gained so many times over the years but I swear, with each "failure" I've come back stronger and armed with more knowledge than before about who I am, my relationship with food, why I'm overweight and the purpose it has served...and why it's ok for me NOT to be fat anymore. I have to say it took me a while to not be HORRIFIED of not being fat. It's still a process that I'm going through but I'm more confident now.

    And yeah, I think being on the "Outs" in our society gives us more compassion and empathy. I hear guys all the time say that they like the PERSONALITIES of fat girls...and even when I was doing some plus size modeling...the makeup artists would comment all the time that they really liked working with plus size models. One artist was like "I don't know if the straight sized models are so mean cuz they're hungry or what!". LOL.
  • SalemBoSox88
    SalemBoSox88 Posts: 237
    Congrats!

    For me its been weird. I moved around time I really started losing weight. So people where I live know I have lost some or never known me different. Yet I go home and everyone is like OMG. I know I am not fat anymore and some would say far from it. But in my mind I still feel I am. For me losing the physical pounds was the easy part the hardest have been the mental ones.
  • KimWW
    KimWW Posts: 301 Member
    I know I blame just about every problem I have in my life on being fat. My knees hurt, it's because I am fat. I can't breathe after a flight of stairs, it's because I am fat. People ignore me, it's because I am fat. Guys don't find me attractive, it's because I am fat. You get the idea.

    So, some of those ARE because I am fat, and losing weight will help. Some are not caused by the weight, but share causes, so dealing with the weight will also help those. And others... Well, I found a guy who loves me the way i am, so no worry about guys. but other people? What if they don't like thin me (when she arrives) what do I blame that on?

    Also, I am worried that <<!!FITNESS!!>> will take over my life and I will never have a chance to relax and just enjoy lazy day. I LIKE lazy days. (That is part of my problem, I know.) My old life was comfortable (as long as I stayed out of tight spaces and didn't sit on the ground or go up steps) what if I miss it?
  • justmextine
    justmextine Posts: 7 Member
    I too have been overweight my entire life. Sometimes I try to visualize myself thinner for encouragement, but I am sure once I get there it will be hard to accept. I wonder if I will like my reflection. I am sure as I get closer to my goals it will be a lot to process. With the worry I do have excitement too... dreams of physical activity becoming easier, not feeling awkward because of my weight, not being judged by shopping in plus size areas and also being proud of myself whole heartedly. I've let the weight define me, so once its gone it makes me wonder what excuse I will have for myself :)
  • dannyxtyler
    dannyxtyler Posts: 72 Member
    I am! It's part of what's held me back in the past! Being fat had been a part of my identity for so long that I have no idea what I'm supposed to do when I'm not fat anymore. But, the desire to be comfortable and healthy is helping me to push that fear aside and finally lose this weight! I'm sure I'll figure it out when I get there.
  • DirectorLawrence
    DirectorLawrence Posts: 24 Member
    I think it will be weird not to be fat since I have been my whole life. My main goal would be to never let go of the feelings associated with being fat. I would never want to become of those "I didn't it so I don't know why you can't" people that are judgmental of those who are going through the same up and down struggle I once did.
  • RedfootDaddy
    RedfootDaddy Posts: 274 Member
    My wife and I had this sort of communal freak-out about what life would be like if (when) I lose weight - I was terrified that she wouldn't love me any more because she loves her squishy wifey now, she was terrified that I wouldn't love her anymore because I would be a smokin' hot butch who could have their pick of the lay-dees. Because I've always been fat. And it's what a lot of you have said - girls didn't notice me because I was fat, I never had a date because I was fat, I've been fat for so long that's it been my identity for most of my life.

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