Hello from a newbie

Dear everyone, hello! My name is Violeta and these last two days I read the most important information in the last many years --namely the information about eating more and eighing less. I have fought many years with my body. I have lost MANY times weight to reach my "ideal" body weight and then gained everything back. Thankfully my non-ideal body weight is only 5-6 kilos away from my ideal, but I never could accept myself with this weight so I always limitted severely what I ate and then binged. I eat on average 800 calories a day (on a plan), but then binge 3 times a week with sweets, which I guess was my bodies way of telling me I am not eating enough. But I thought it is purely psychological, I thought I have food addiction. The binging lead to more severe restricting, which lead to more severe binging. I also do a lot of sports, so the binging after a 13 km run was severe. I feel so upset about doing this to myself. For almost 3 years I kept telling to myself that I will be stronger and will lose this weight in the next 2-3 weeks if I can just stick to my starvation diet...Instead I have just been the same weight but feeling miserable and very ashamed with this starving binging cycle. Somehow in my mind it is ingrained the less I eat the more I exercise, the better it will be. And if it does not work, I should eat even less and exercise even more....Crazyness.
Due to not eating enough protein and healthy food I also have very horrible untoned body and my hair falling out and am not even thin. But now I really will start providing nurishment to my body! Today I have been eating more normaly and did not have any cravings to binge after my run. Usually I need to fight the constant urge to binge after training. I also feel very calm, although having 450-500 calories at breakfast did make me feel guilty.
I am still confused with the many calculators and numbers which can be used to calculate my TDEE in order to do my metabolism reset, but definitely know at least under no circumstances to fall ever under my resting metabolic rate.

I hope the madness ends today and I at least get healthier. I have been living the Jakyl/ Hyde calorie lifestyle for so long! Honestly I am very angry at myself...

Replies

  • Jennbecca33
    Jennbecca33 Posts: 321 Member
    Hi Violeta! Welcome...so glad you found EM2WL!

    First of all, do not be mad at yourself. We have all been there and had those same feelings. You and I have very similar backgrounds in the way of how we restricted and binged, lost and gained...over and over. I heard myself talking when I read your post. Just be thankful that now you have found the right path to reach your goals and just look forward to the progress you will make! Take your past dieting history, learn from it and make a decision to not go back to it. I know when I first found EM2WL, it was such a relief to be able to eat and I felt like it was actually "easy" compared to the torture I had put my body through with restriction/binging/exercise. The desire to binge will go away once you start eating enough.

    We recommend using the Scooby website to calculate your TDEE (http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/). It does sound as though a full reset would be beneficial to you with your long history of low calorie dieting. You will want to slowly increase your calories all the way up to your TDEE and eat at that level for a minimum of 8-12 weeks. Increasing the calories slowly will help minimize some of the initial weight gain that can happen when increasing calories. Your body will adjust as you increase, but it is a process and can take some time. For example, you could increase by 100 calories every day for a week, and then go up another 100 the next week, and so on.

    If you are still exercising a lot, think about cutting back on the amount of exercise you do. It will actually work against you to over-exercise. Exercise is a stressor on your body, so you do not want to overdo it. Perhaps you can trade in some of your running for weight training and try to give yourself two rest days a week. Make sure that when calculating your TDEE, you choose the right activity level for the amount of exercise you are doing.

    Once you eat at TDEE for the 8-12 weeks, if you feel mentally ready, you can introduce a small deficit to begin losing weight again. Right now, you should just focus on healing your metabolism and mentally adjusting to a new way of doing things. :)

    Feel free to add me for support here on MFP. Also, you can visit www.em2wl.com for additional support from moderators and other ladies who are going through the same process as you. There is a great group of people there to help you every step of the way! Please post back if you have any other questions and let us know how you are doing!
  • violetaivanova357
    violetaivanova357 Posts: 7 Member
    Dear Jennbecca, thank you very much for your kind response and advice! Do you think it is ok to have my activity level as sedentary and then just eat all my sports calories? My sedentary calories are at 1780 or so and then simply add whatever I exercise (for example 830 for yesterday's run). I find it harder to place myself in exact activity level, because of course this varies due to health and availability. I currently weight train but only once a week, but am thinking of increasing that to two times a week. I also cannot wait to see the results of eating properly in my training performance. I am indeed extremely excited and also a bit nervous because the idea is still new and I am just so used to the idea of restricting. I did my first diet at the age of 14.5...of eating <1000 and being an athlete.

    Also can someone tell me how to change my calories goal here on MFP, because I find it very annoying that they give me 1240 calories...
  • violetaivanova357
    violetaivanova357 Posts: 7 Member
    oh, sorry, saw where to change my goals in MFP.
  • butterbear1980
    butterbear1980 Posts: 234 Member
    Hi, I had a. Similar diet history to you as well and you are going to live how you feel, physically, giving yourself adequate nutrition. I've found, for me the TDEE (Eating the same everyday) really helps with the mental aspect of eating consistently. At first even though I felt great physically I had a hard time mentally with eating enough. At first I kept a journal in a notebook that helped me work through the emotions of eating consistently. Also after about two weeks of eating adequately I became ravenously hungry and ate ALot! This lasted about a week and I journaled through the whole time which helped. Then the appetite Normalized and its a lot easier. Five months in and the scale matters so much less, my body image and emotional eating are the best in my life and I have so much more energy! This is going to be hard but you can do it!!! It is so worth it!
  • violetaivanova357
    violetaivanova357 Posts: 7 Member
    Hi,mspunkyone, thank you so much for you response. To be honest in my case it will not take particular bravery, because I anyway simply compensate my restriction by binging on chocolate. So it is completely pointless for me to restrict. I am very mind over matter person, and have thought that I can teach my body how to be, that it needs very little food, and I also thought that my bingeing is a sign of mental or emotional addiction, which I need to overcome. In my particular case this is not the truth. Now that I know that I will be having those binges anyway, because my body wants to live, and it simply needs calories to do so, not only vitamins and aminoacids, it is easier to take the step and nourish properly.

    I want to do the metabolic reset.
    I calculated my TDEE and the calculator says it is 2111, but I want to increase slowly my exercise especially weight lifting, but also I want to do some more biking and so on. Is it a problem to do that in the reset period, given that I increase the activity level in the TDEE as well? Will it traumatize my body too much?

    I honestly am starting to think that the whole weight is much more complicated than calories in calories out. My mother had the same weight until menopause for her whole adult life, with the exception of pregnancy, and does not know any calorie content of any food. After menopause she has contant weight of 6 kilograms more. Before I started with this nonsence of dieting, I also had constant weight, which was lower than my weight now. It is not like I ate always the same or exercised always the same. It is very complicated I think, because a lot of people that have never dieted just have constant healthy weights their whole lives and do not gain. I know many people like that. I am starting to think that the body has mechanisms to protect it against weight gain or loss and these mechanisms get ruined by dieting.
  • Jennbecca33
    Jennbecca33 Posts: 321 Member
    So I have to agree with Mspunkyone that it's probably best to eat up to a certain level everyday during reset. I think it would be really difficult and confusing for that amount to change by say, 800+ calories everyday, depending on your activity burn. You will probably find that using the TDEE method will be better for reset purposes. Is there a way you can keep your exercise amounts more consistent from week to week so that you can do it this way?

    It looks as though you've figured your TDEE at 2111. I don't know your age, height and weight, but that seems low to me for the amount of activity you are doing. What activity level did you choose and what amount of activity did you figure into that calculation? It really would be best for you to cut back on some of your cardio exercise during reset, and even after reset. Your body sees exercise as a stressor, and doing too much of it really can hinder progress and healing of metabolism and your body doesn't have adequate time to rest. It's ok to do things you enjoy, but maybe decrease the amount of time you are running so that your burns are not so large. If you add strength training into your routine, it would give you a chance to back down on some of the cardio. But for certain, if you increase your activity level, you need to recalculate your TDEE and eat accordingly! Ideally, strength training 3 days a week, smaller increments of cardio/HIIT 2 days a week, and 2 days of rest.
  • violetaivanova357
    violetaivanova357 Posts: 7 Member
    Hi, you are right, that it would stress my organism, to varrie the calories too much. I will try to plan my exercise and be consistent.



    I am 29 yo, 64-66kg, 173 cm tall (that is 5''8). I used the excell sheet from Heybales. My BMR is always about 1400s in all calculators and my TDEE if I do not do any sports is consistently slightly below 1800. So for sure my TDEE is way above 1800, given that I do do some sports.


    What I plan to do is 2x running 2x biking 2x weight lifting and for this the calculator gives me 2200.
  • AnitraSoto
    AnitraSoto Posts: 725 Member
    You have received some excellent advice, and it sounds like you are off on the right foot! As Jennbecca33 said, EM2WL recommends the Scooby Calculator as the simplest way to calculate your TDEE (http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/). Eating consistently to the same daily goal is certainly the simplest way to do the reset --- that way your body is getting consistent nutrition and you are not constantly having to calculate your daily goals. Just do that one calculation and you are all set!

    Great job incorporating some strength training! You commented about having an "untoned body", and the strength training will make the biggest difference in your appearance and also in how you feel. It is so empowering! Personally, I would strive for three days of strength training a week and maybe cut back the cardio to two days. The body definitely sees exercise as a stress, and does not generally react well to stress. Especially during your reset, I would concentrate on the strength training and fueling your body properly with protein-rich foods. You will be thrilled with how you feel, almost instantly!

    If you are interested, hop on over to our website www.EatMore2WeighLess.com and join in on our forums. There is even a Personal Journals section where you can start your own journal. It's a great place not only to track your progress, but also to interact with others going through the same thing that you are! So glad you have decided to take the first step towards a healthier you!
  • Jennbecca33
    Jennbecca33 Posts: 321 Member
    Hi Violeta,

    So with your stats and that amount of activity, your TDEE looks right as long as your 6 exercise sessions do not exceed 5 hours. If they do, it would push you up to the next level (5-6 hours activity) and your TDEE would be more like 2460. So just make sure you keep track of the amount of activity. During a reset, the last thing you want to do is under eat by underestimating your activity level. Still it would probably be best to cut back a little on some of that cardio (running/biking). Listen to your body and if you feel tired, give your body another rest day. You'll do great on your reset!
  • violetaivanova357
    violetaivanova357 Posts: 7 Member
    Thank you very much Becca and Anitra! Becca, yes I will try to keep the sessions on the short side, but for example my biking is never too strenuous. I will watch for undereating (due to exercise). I will record my exercise and my food and weight daily and in a month it will be easier to judge with more information what is my TDEE and my stats and so on. I think that without logging that information it is harder to make precise assessment.
    My biggest hope and aim is that with enough nutrition I will stop binging and have "normal", "healthy" eating habits and healthy mind.
    My biggest worry is how will I live without my illusionary "I will lose 10 kilos in the next 3 days" hopes.


    .
  • Jennbecca33
    Jennbecca33 Posts: 321 Member
    I think that sounds like a great plan!! The biggest thing for me has been the absence of binging...I have not had the urge to binge in 9 months now and before it was almost daily. Like you, I also thought I had an addiction to food, when all I really needed was to allow myself to eat proper amounts of food. I'm sure you will have the same experience! Mentally, adjusting to losing at a much slower pace was actually pretty easy for me even though I thought it was going to be difficult. It did not take me long to understand that even though I could once lose 5 pounds in a few days starving myself (which by the way was all water, not fat), it was most certainly back by the end of the week due to binging. Those quick weight losses were NEVER permanent. With EM2WL, a 1 pound loss is a true 1 pound loss, and those quickly add up to 5 and 10 pounds that stay off forever. This is the first time in my life that I have not gained my weight back - not a single pound in 9 months and counting. It is sustainable. You won't regret it!
  • heybales
    heybales Posts: 18,842 Member
    Dear Jennbecca, thank you very much for your kind response and advice! Do you think it is ok to have my activity level as sedentary and then just eat all my sports calories? My sedentary calories are at 1780 or so and then simply add whatever I exercise (for example 830 for yesterday's run). I find it harder to place myself in exact activity level, because of course this varies due to health and availability. I currently weight train but only once a week, but am thinking of increasing that to two times a week. I also cannot wait to see the results of eating properly in my training performance. I am indeed extremely excited and also a bit nervous because the idea is still new and I am just so used to the idea of restricting. I did my first diet at the age of 14.5...of eating <1000 and being an athlete.

    Also can someone tell me how to change my calories goal here on MFP, because I find it very annoying that they give me 1240 calories...

    What you describe here is how MFP already works.

    The missing part is selecting a reasonable deficit. If you are willing to accept the 15% deficit, then do it using MFP.
    Figure out what your average total daily burn is, perhaps that is TDEE chart, perhaps it's adding up all regular exercise and what MFP estimates you'll burn without exercise, and getting daily average.
    But just because there is a 2 lb weekly weight loss goal doesn't mean you have to select it.
    Because if TDEE was 2460, 15% is 369, so you'd pick 250 deficit goal, or 1/2 lb weekly.
    Since TDEE is probably a tad less, that makes it even closer to 1/2 lb weekly being correct.

    Though the TDEE method is better at the start to have that daily goal always the same so you can plan. Planning is the way to win.

    Just wanted to throw in the fact you described MFP's method exactly.