If you don't want to tell the world about your WLS just say:

"It looks delicious, but I've been dieting and doing pretty well with it. Hate to mess it up. You know how difficult it is to lose weight."

Leave it at that unless you want the whole evening to devolve into a discussion of your WLS. You'll probably have to endure 15 minutes or more of people telling you how THEY lost their weight:

"I tried the beans and flatulence diet. It worked great!"
"I gave up gluten and the pounds fell off!"
"What I do is eat nothing but strawberries on week days, then I eat whatever I want on the weekend!"

to which you answer, no matter what they say:

"Really? That's amazing! I'll do a little googling on it after I get home. Thanks!"

You're not lying and you're not telling. This surgery is nobody's business but your own and at some point, you're just going to be the thin woman who doesn't eat so much. There's always people like that around. Your friends will adjust to that and never have to know you had WLS.

Leave it at that unless you want the whole evening to devolve into a discussion of your WLS. You'll probably have to endure 15 minutes or more of people telling you how THEY lost their weight:

I've never kept my WLS a secret -- I'm open with anyone who has asked if I've lost weight (thousands by now?) and give details to anyone who inquires about the details of my eating.

In my experience post-WLS, I have not had one single person question, belittle, judge or debate my choice. Also in my experience, I've never had anyone comment on what I'm eating, how I'm eating it or what I'm choosing to not eat. I would guess that more than 50% of all people will try some kind of diet or weight loss effort in a given year. I think everyone is over it.

I have received tons of support, encouragement and compliments from most everyone I've told. I've also influenced more than 10 people who were also struggling with obesity to attend the seminar and they have all gone on to have surgery and lose their weight.

I'm two months out and I stick mainly to soup when eating out.
I'm not an open book about my surgery. I've only told a few people. I don't feel it's necessary to tell everyone because it's my
Business and I'm not really interested in other peoples opinions.

I am open and honest about my WLS, sometimes even a little obnoxious about it. I was questioned about why I wanted something very small at a restaurant and I said I just had weight loss surgery and she told me "I'm trying to lose weight too but I'm doing it the old fashioned way" in a pretty superior and snotty tone and so I replied "yeah but who has time for that?" Anyway, the defense snottiness aside, she is the only one that has ever given me grief about it. When I am social, I mooch off of everyone else :drinker: As bad as that sounds, no one minds lol. I do have to point out that most people I am social with are my very closest friends and family so they already know about my surgery and are actually happy to give me a bite off of their plate so I don't overwhelm myself with ordering a whole meal for just me. Sometimes, I'll even order what I want then arrange for someone to take over for me when I'm done. It works out spectacularly.As Thaeda said though, most people really don't care and you can always just tell em that you're not that hungry. Don't worry, you'll figure it out!

I was thinking about this today and found it amusing....

On a daily basis I interact with:

2 people who are post VSG
1 person with a failed lap-band who converted to bypass
1 person with a very successful bypass
1 person who uses an online fitness/health coach to guide her eating
1 person who eats/trains for bikini competitions with ridiculous low calorie/fat/carb diet cycles
1 person who is low carb for her wedding
1 person who eats paleo
1 person who is gluten free (but used to be a vegetarian and now eats meat?)
2 pregnant women who are avoiding caffeine and alcohol
1 person who is very picky/super taster and has a limited palate

This is just at work on a daily basis...

Really, no one will notice your food restrictions! :laugh:

I'm 9 weeks PO. I told no one about surgery other than immediate family-I didn't want any negativity before surgery and I just want to be "normal" now. No one will probably notice what you eat or don't eat if you don't make a "deal" about it. I had to take a client to lunch while I was pre-op on full liquids. I just got a grilled chicken salad and played around with it and took it home to my hubby for dinner. No one noticed.

I went to my first party about 4 weeks PO. I felt like an alien and left after a couple of hours. I "faked" a round of shots (the plant was drunk) and drank water with lime out of a solo cup (and if people asked what I was drinking, I said vodka/soda). I've been to several parties now and it's getting easier, but it's definitely an adjustment. I miss not being about to party all night like I used to. That said, I'm very happy with the results of my surgery and the trade off is totally worth it.

I know everybody's experience is different but I get angry when I read this having to hide the truth. Not angry with the sleever but angry to think there are still such narrow minded people out there that can intimidate folk into feeling they have something to be ashamed of.

I am not sure it's always that people are narrow minded, but I think they are grossly under informed and ignorant of the process. Yesterday I was talking to a couple of people in the spin class at my gym about losing weight. I told them how much I lost and one guy asked how I did it. I was honest, I said I lost 70 lbs on my own making lifestyle changes, and I had surgery as an extra tool to help me be successful. He said, "Isn't that dangerous? Don't people die from that surgery? I know some people have a lot of problems too". I said, people die from routine surgeries all the time, surgery in and of itself is risky, but some people will die of complications due to obesity if they DON'T have surgery. I also told him that yes some people do have trouble, but if you do the things you need to do, the chances of that happening are not that high. So, I do think there is judgment but I think it often comes from ignorance. Not everyone should feel obligated to give people insight to the process if they aren't comfortable with that, but I find that open dialogue helps people understand, and the more understanding there is, the less judgment and stigma there will be.

Some people are more private than others. The point is, if the OP doesn't want to explain her WLS or tell anybody about it, that's her business. I'm one of those private type of people. I don't think my medical history is everybody's business anymore than I'd be telling them about my sex life. Others are more open. So there's no hard and fast rule. I don't want to tell everybody about my WLS. It has nothing to do with whether or not they would be supportive or not. I have other things to talk about than my WLS. The OP just wanted to know how to talk about it or avoid talking about it.

This!

As I stated everybody's experience is different and many people are private rightly so. But there are many on here have mentioned negative comments which make them feel unable to share their experience. I hate to think of people on the cusp of a new healthy life feeling this way. As you say, not everybody shares their medical history with their friends, family, colleagues. That's fair.

I go out several times per week these days. I'm open with most people. All of my friends know about my surgery and support me by splitting appetizers, etc.

Dating... is a little harder particularly early in a relationship, before I'm ready to spill but I've never had a problem with it being "weird" at all. I try to suggest places where they have "small plates" or appies I like. Cup of soup is always good too. When I drink, now I obviously avoid beer because of the bubbles. It fills me WAY too fast and makes me uncomfortable anyway. I often go for a mixed drink or martini now a days just because there is less volume there and it's easier to sip on. If I do wine, I drink at about half the rate of my friends now, particularly if I'm eating. I've also used the, "I had a big lunch", or "I'm watching my diet", or "I eat 5 very small meals per day and it's working for me", (which is totally true) lines. They honestly love that I'm a "cheap" date! LOL

I had this issue just yesterday! I went to a cookout at my brother's house and saw some old friends who hadn't seen me since before my WLS. No comment about how different I look, which was fine, figured maybe they didn't remember me at my biggest. But after I was talking with my brother's girlfriend about protein levels in something and then took some BBQ ribs, beans and about a tablespoon of coleslaw (no corn on the cob or garlic bread and left the watermellon for dessert if I wanted something sweet while they had the cake), I was asked if I was doing Weight Watchers. My answer was simple. "I had weight loss surgery 3 years ago and now eat high protein, low fat, low carb". No further detail and no questions about drinking with my meal, probably because I had a bottle of water sitting there although I didn't drink it. The only question I got was asking if it was like the Adkins diet. I really don't know as that's one of the few I never tried.

I am very open with my WLS. I can still be social, have a glass of wine if I want, etc. Most people are accepting and don't push food or drink. I was offered a drink yesterday and simply declined with "I'm driving" which was true. I took a veggie plate with me yesterday so I had something to munch on if they had chips and such out, so even in that kind of a gathering, you take something you know will fit in your calories for the day and share.

It just takes some preplanning, but I do believe because I am so open about it and obviuously comfortable with it myself, it really puts people at ease and the WLS just becomes a non-issue.

Part of my solution was to surround myself with people who respect my decision to have surgery, care about my health, and are supportive. If someone is negative about me having surgery, they probably aren't important enough to me to care about their opinion. I don't ever want to feel like I have to edit myself, but that's just me. I've been very fortunate that only one person ever said anything negative to me, and it wasn't someone I knew well. Beside that one incident, no one has ever been judgmental or negative towards me about having surgery. That said, I know a lot of people out there are more than happy to share their opinions, whether you ask for them or not, and whether they know anything at all about WLS or not, and they aren't always kind about it. You just kind of have to gauge the company you are with, and do what you are comfortable doing. Remember that you don't have to answer to anyone or explain yourself or defend your decision. You did this for YOU!

My weight has always been an issue..."is she up or down.." from when I saw them last. I'm sick of it. I hate being associated with weight. It's embarrassing. And, it's been for decades.

I told immediate family about the sleeve. No one was surprised. Maybe because my niece, brother and sister-in-law all had gastric bypass surgery within the past 5 years.

At 8 weeks post op (surgery date 7/7/14) the weight loss is starting to show (nearing 40 pounds). Yes, it took losing 35 pounds before anyone saw a difference. I've been at this weight before, but it's been a while since I've weighed less. And, when I did weigh less, it didn't last long.

So, now, as I start to see people again (I've kind of been a recluse since putting on 50+ pounds), it's going to come out. I'm not going to mislead people, telling them that eliminating carbs and increasing exercise allowed me to lose this much weight. So, I am going to have to start telling people - eventually.

Usually, when people say "You've lost weight" or "Are you losing weight?" I've simply said "Thank you." It's amazing what people will accept for a reply when you don't even answer their question. People don't listen closely anymore.

I'm realizing, like others on this forum, it's not so unusual anymore. If I am pressed, I will simply say "I had weight loss surgery this past summer" and leave it at that (hopefully). I just don't like to talk about it. I don't want to draw attention and I don't like to be the center of attention and I really don't like it when the conversation revolves around me and my weight.

I haven't gone out for a meal with anyone, but I recently attended a wedding and a funeral in the same weekend. The wedding chicken was dry and all white meat. I took one bite and couldn't eat the rest. I ate the vegis and called it a night.

The next day after the funeral, there was a lunch buffet. I had a scoop of egg salad and a scoop of tuna salad and that was lunch. And, it's true, no one notices what you eat.

When I re-enter the real world, I plan to eat appetizers like shrimp cocktail or chicken skewers and a side salad. If that isn't available, I will stick with fish and only eat until I am full.

It's amazing how no one really notices what others eat or IF they eat. it's way more important to us than to anyone else. Good luck and be proud!