WhooooHooooo Julie!! Congrats on not only getting your insurance approval but a date as well. I remember when I got my date. I was excited, scared, nervous, etc. all rolled into one. I was excited for the ability to finally have a tool that would help me have success in losing weight and live a longer, healthier life. I was scared just because it is a major surgery. And nervous because it is a major lifestyle change/learning a new way to eat. And sad because I was going to lose all my favorite foods.
Like persistentsoul, I have always had the fear of failing and would give up just so I wouldn't fail. Growing up I was made to feel like a failure and could never do anything right. So why would losing weight be any different? I also had a control issues. The sexual abuse I suffered left me feeling like I had no control over my life. Food was something I could control no matter how much my mother thought SHE controlled it. That led to hiding and sneaking food. Weight loss surgery gave me hope on both of these issues. I had the hope that I could finally lose the weight and live a healthy life though I must admit there was still a little fear of failure there. And even though 8 1/2 years out I still haven't reached my goal weight, I still consider myself a success. I continue to work hard even though I'm not always perfect and I'm no longer letting my weight control me. It also helped me with my control issues. To some extent the WLS made me control what I ate. Eating the wrong things or too much made me sick. But ultimately, it was my decision. I COULD eat those things but I WOULD pay for it if I did. So I learned to give some of that control up and realized I no longer had the need to hide and sneak food. What I ate was my choice.

Congratulations on the date Julie. Its ok to be apprehensive about it. Any major change is going to take some pain and suffering and you are taking a step in the right direction for yourself.

Thank you all for sharing on the board. I don't really have any real life friends that talk about this kind of stuff so it is nice to relate to people on some level. Makes me feel not quite so alone.

I have failed at weight loss so many times. I got down to 240 lbs 7 years ago and then I packed on 50 lbs. Before that I would just lose and then gain back small amounts. I got into the mindset that it wouldn't work so why bother. This time its different though. I started slow and made changes one at a time. I was scared to death when I got to the 240 lb mark that I wouldn't be able to get past it and give up. It took me getting down to 225 before I could start to believe that the world doesn't end at 240 lb.