Ruminating on food choices
beccabmoran
Posts: 13
Hi all, I'm really struggling with something and I could use some help. I've been ruminating on all of my food choices a lot lately, no matter what they have been. It's becoming even more obsessive than usual. Last night is a great example. I went to my mother's house for dinner and I had poached chicken with spinach and two large helpings of roasted vegetables (Brussels sprouts and cauliflower). I also had a few strawberries. I had a couple bites of my husband's potatoes, which I didn't track, but I didn't have any bread or any dessert. My diary is open; feel free to take a look at my whole day yesterday.
My husband assured me that I did fine and that my dinner choices were healthy. But I have been feeling more and more anxious about my intake yesterday. I feel like I hugely overate. I feel like I ate way too much. I almost feel like I binged because I had so much volume of vegetables! I think it's partially because I didn't do the cooking myself and someone else prepared the food. But I'm really scared that I didn't count the calories correctly and that I somehow ate much, much more than I did. What are others' thoughts on this?
I had a couple of questions:
1. Does anyone else struggle with this kind of anxiety around eating in places other than their own homes?
2. Did I binge because I had two large helpings of vegetables?
My husband assured me that I did fine and that my dinner choices were healthy. But I have been feeling more and more anxious about my intake yesterday. I feel like I hugely overate. I feel like I ate way too much. I almost feel like I binged because I had so much volume of vegetables! I think it's partially because I didn't do the cooking myself and someone else prepared the food. But I'm really scared that I didn't count the calories correctly and that I somehow ate much, much more than I did. What are others' thoughts on this?
I had a couple of questions:
1. Does anyone else struggle with this kind of anxiety around eating in places other than their own homes?
2. Did I binge because I had two large helpings of vegetables?
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Replies
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I think the key here is that you *feel* that you overate, but if you are in your calorie goals, objectively speaking you did not overeat. It looks like you are at a very big deficit, so actually in my opinion having days where you eat a bit more are good for you. Also, it is good practice to eat outside food and get used to making it work.
So, it seems like your mind is giving you lots of anxious thoughts about your food intake even when there is no problem. The great thing about calorie tracking is that you have an objective measure of how you are doing, because our minds give us all kinds of thoughts that are often unhelpful.
By the way, we use the word binge eating a lot, but true binge eating is eating a lot more than others would and feeling out of control with your eating. I think having two big helpings of veggies is well within the realm of what people would normally eat.0 -
Thanks for your thoughtful response! I know what you mean about the calorie deficit, but then I start worrying that I'm overestimating my burn, etc. etc. I wear a Fitbit, but I am just basically insanely anxious about everything all the time.0
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I can definitely relate to your anxiety about food that you did not prepare yourself or that has no nutritional label. I struggle with these feelings when I have to eat food prepared by friends, family members, in restaurants, etc. It sucks because it makes me avoid certain situations that should be enjoyable. I wish I could relax about these things...
As to your other question, well, as girlviernes said, during a binge episode, people with BED will eat quantities of food much bigger than anything a person would normally eat. I don't feel that having two large helpings of vegetable constitutes a binge.
Regarding food choices in general, I will say this: since you are in my friends list, I have peeked at your diary from time to time. Please know that I am in no way trying to offend you by saying this, but I feel that you'd benefit by adding more variety to your diet. It seems that sometimes your diet consists of mostly Quest bars, apples, carrots, and tuna for several consecutive days. These are good choices from a nutritional standpoint, but I am wondering whether you limit yourself to only a few foods because other things might trigger anxiety? If so, perhaps slowly trying to diversify your diet would lessen your anxiety?0 -
Hi, thank you very much for your response (and I am sorry for the lateness of mine!). I understand what you're saying and I take no offense. I'm having a lot of problems with letting myself eat anything else right now because it does trigger a lot of anxiety. I am now incorporating things like PB2 (powdered peanut butter) into my diet, but it's tough.0
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One thing you could try, I'll see if I can explain it well, is make a list of foods that thinking about eating raises your anxiety. All the scary foods. Then rank how scary each one is to eat, from 0 (no problem at all) to 100 (hardest thing you could imagine). Then put them in rank order by how difficult. You should have a good range, so add some additional foods if you need to get more range. Then make it a point to eat foods off your list (set a goal like 3x/week) starting at 30-40. When you eat the food, notice your anxiety and keep track of it over time. So write down how high your anxiety is out of 100, let's say it is 80, and then in a minute it is still at 80, and then it is at 70, and then 50. Stick with it until your anxiety has come down about halfway from the highest (in this case, 40).
The goal is to eat the scary food, let the anxiety go up, and experience the anxiety long enough for it to naturally come down on its own.
Remember, anxiety isn't dangerous and anxiety isn't truth. Just because your brain is saying this is a bad food doesn't make it true.
I hope this is helpful and not just confusing or overwhelming. It's hard to know online
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I wouldn't consider that meal a binge in any way. It's natural when you deal with binge eating to mistake a full feeling or a large plate as a binge, because I think we're so used to consuming large amounts of not-so-good for us food. I did this all the time back when I was bingeing nearly everyday. Even when I would eat a reasonable portion of an unhealthy food (chips or ice cream) or a large portion of healthy foods (a big bowl of cooked spinach) I would still get those shameful and regretful feelings. With the unhealthy food, I was so used to bingeing on them that just the taste of it made me feel as though I'd binged, even though I hadn't. My brain has learned overtime that this food=binge because that it how I trained it. It takes time and patience for you, your body, and your brain to get in sync with the reality of non-binges vs binges. Looking at your calorie intake, the types of food you eat, and just simply reminding yourself over and over again of what an actual binge looks like for you will help retrain your brain, but it will take time.0
