Feeling like a failure
alliemay1024
Posts: 83 Member
I have yo-yo'd my whole entire life.. Mostly in the wrong direction. I would LOVE to be able to eat healthy all the timne, sticking to my guns when faced with temptations and this challenge we call life.
However, I am not a strong person when it comes to my eating habits. Anything else, I am the one on top doing everything it takes to be the best. I will do well for a week or two and then BAM!!!! Life happens and my first reaction is to run to the ONE thing that never judges, comforts me like nothing else does, and eat myself into a comfortable numbness in my own little world.
I seriously don't know how to just stop eating once I start a binge. I live with my grandparents becuase they are elderly, and I try to help them as much as I can. My grandmother is the world's worst at pointing out my flaws...
"You would be so pretty if you would lose weight."
"I am worried you are going to have a heart attack and drop dead."
"You would find a husband if you would eat right and lose some weight."
I love her, but DANGIT mommaw, have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? (I never say this out loud because I respect my grandma too much to say that)
I want to eat healthy because I want to improve my health so that I can be around for my niece. She is 3 yrs old, and her little face lights up every time she sees me. It breaks my heart when she wants to play and I have to say, "Aunt can't do that baby, I am too big." That should be my motivation, and it does for a time... Then POOF! Binge again.
MISERABLE!
However, I am not a strong person when it comes to my eating habits. Anything else, I am the one on top doing everything it takes to be the best. I will do well for a week or two and then BAM!!!! Life happens and my first reaction is to run to the ONE thing that never judges, comforts me like nothing else does, and eat myself into a comfortable numbness in my own little world.
I seriously don't know how to just stop eating once I start a binge. I live with my grandparents becuase they are elderly, and I try to help them as much as I can. My grandmother is the world's worst at pointing out my flaws...
"You would be so pretty if you would lose weight."
"I am worried you are going to have a heart attack and drop dead."
"You would find a husband if you would eat right and lose some weight."
I love her, but DANGIT mommaw, have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? (I never say this out loud because I respect my grandma too much to say that)
I want to eat healthy because I want to improve my health so that I can be around for my niece. She is 3 yrs old, and her little face lights up every time she sees me. It breaks my heart when she wants to play and I have to say, "Aunt can't do that baby, I am too big." That should be my motivation, and it does for a time... Then POOF! Binge again.
MISERABLE!
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Replies
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You can do this... life long habits don't change overnight. Take it one day at a time and just keep being plugged in! What your grandma says is just plain hurtful. Maybe she is trying to be helpful but it's not what you need to hear.
It is going to take dedication and work and you can do it!! You just aren't going to be perfect. You are not a failure so get that out of your mind. You are on here everyday and aren't giving up. That's what it will take, You will get there...it just isn't going to happen overnight. Hang in there and think of yourself as a fighter not a failure. You can do it!0 -
Andielyn I wish MFP had like buttons to click!0
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I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle, but please take some comfort in the fact that there are others of us out there who have the same struggle.
The feelings you experience when you binge seems near identical to mine. You can start out with the best of intentions, but it won't matter in the end because you simply can't control yourself around food.
I try and really appreciate the good days that I have and recognize that the bad days will come too. It's not the most elegant of solutions, but it makes me feel less miserable on the whole and allows me to bounce back quicker when I slip up.
Best of luck to you and kudos to you for posting in the group! I always mean to post before I binge, but then I decide, 'screw it,' and just go to the kitchen cabinet.0 -
Hi everyone just joined today. I'm really saddened to hear your struggling with binge eating. I recovered from bulima and anerexia and as a result gained 100lbs! Some I needed to , bug the point being the weight gain was not healthy but still my unhealthy attachment to food. I tried some things, . CBT for initial urges, pinging wrist etc, tapping shoulders (I know! ) lol. Also DBT, to dig a bit deeper, but also slimming world. It gave me a focus and a healthy control and food, and I had such lovely support from group members xx0
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"Hang in there and think of yourself as a fighter not a failure."
I really agree with this. People here tend to be really positive, which is great, but sometimes it can make me feel like it's easy for other people and not for me. What you are doing is HARD WORK. It is EXCRUCIATING. There will be bad days, and it will seem impossible. You are a warrior for doing this. And it's hard to believe it now, but some day in the future you'll be so, so glad to see results from all of your hard work.
Slipping up once in a while doesn't mean you failed. It happens to all of us. The number one trigger for me backsliding into binges is when I make one little mistake. From there it snowballs. I think "ugh, I ate a handful of chips tonight, I'm worthless, my diet is ruined, might as well finish the bag and write off this whole weekend." It's been a tough process but I am learning to go easy on myself, notice when I make a bad food choice, and just move on from it.
We are all rooting for you!0 -
Hello everyone! I am not new to MFP but I am new to the group because I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that I need to deal with my emotional eating. And so I'm looking for friends and support who struggle with Emotional Eating like myself. Alliemay I hear and you're not alone. You're story sounds similar to mind. I've yo yo'ed all my life and tried everything under the sun to lose weight and sometimes I've had some success only to gain it back from bad eating habits returning. I live with my parents because they are ill and elderly and my mom makes her comments which are not helpful. Its humiliating and you think weight is all people can see. Madeleine you said a mouthful because it is hard and when you try to talk to people about it, it seems like they just dont truly understand. And I dont really have a point here other than to say, hang in there, keep trying to overcome, you're not a failure. I'll be your friend and we can support each other as best we can!0
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Hello everyone! I am not new to MFP but I am new to the group because I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that I need to deal with my emotional eating. And so I'm looking for friends and support who struggle with Emotional Eating like myself. Alliemay I hear and you're not alone. You're story sounds similar to mind. I've yo yo'ed all my life and tried everything under the sun to lose weight and sometimes I've had some success only to gain it back from bad eating habits returning. I live with my parents because they are ill and elderly and my mom makes her comments which are not helpful. Its humiliating and you think weight is all people can see. Madeleine you said a mouthful because it is hard and when you try to talk to people about it, it seems like they just dont truly understand. And I dont really have a point here other than to say, hang in there, keep trying to overcome, you're not a failure. I'll be your friend and we can support each other as best we can!
Hi there...welcome to the group!! There are a lot of us who are emotional eaters and fight that battle and it's not easy. Glad you are here!!
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Its humiliating and you think weight is all people can see.
YES--the amount of shame I've felt about my weight gain is staggering. Not only am I trying to eat healthy, but I'm embarrassed to explain to my friends why I don't want one of the cookies they brought, while ALSO embarrassed if someone sees me eating something unhealthy. I feel like I filter every experience I have through the "I'm fat" filter--"I went on a picnic, and I was fat, and everyone probably thought I was fat"--"I met the new executive who started working at my company today, and she probably thought I was really fat."
I also try to keep in mind something that's come up a lot in my therapy sessions, which is that I'm SO much more critical of myself than I ever would be of someone else. If I try to take myself out of my body, and imagine I had a friend going through what I'm going through, I would admire her hard work and feel so much sympathy for her--I would NEVER feel grossed out by her. But when I think about myself, my sympathy is nonexistant. Try to imagine yourself from an outsider's perspective, the way you would think of someone else on this site going through a hard time.0
