Ah, the stress of trying to do too much too fast. I finally figured out that was my downfall. A book I read said that too much change at one time sends your brain into a spiral and eventually something has to give. I would try to eat the healthiest possible and exercise almost everyday. Which would work for about 3 months until cravings kicked in and fast food crept back in. Many years later I have been working on better choices and gradual exercise in hopes of finally reaching my goal. So try one thing at a time, whichever is easier for you. Healthy eating for awhile, then add some exercise, or vice versa. Gradual changes will make transition easier. Don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day. We all do. The important part is to keep trying.

Well i don't know, I can change my way of living radically and keep it going for quite a while but exercise is something that i have not been able to keep going. So I don't worry about exercise .

I've been dieting all this year. STarted about the same weight as you and lost most of it in the first three months. Then i deliberately decided to slow it down and i've been slowly steadily losing since then. I'm now 141 pounds and feeling very good about myself.

Mind you if you pick a good plan to follow, or rather work out a good plan to follow, then you will feel good about yourself the whole time. I have tinkered with my plan all through the year and now i'm eating better than ever.

The thing is i think to identify the problems as soon as they appear and address them. Only once this year have i needed and got value from my internet support friends. All my other problems have been stress related and for those i went to see a councillor.

I did adjust some things i was doing and experimented a bit with other things from stuff i learnt initially on forums - then i went and did deeper research from books.

So i'd say your problem is that you have just been going about things the wrong way.

So by now you've learnt that extreme exercising and severely restricting calories was a bad idea. So i take it you are not going to try that again.

Make it easy for yourself. Don't cut your calories too severely you can reduce them as your weight goes down. Its easier. Avoid hunger but don't over eating. Avoid problem foods. Manage stress. Sleep well.

You need to be organised with your food, and willing to cook most of it. be willing to eat mostly whole healthy nutritious foods. Maximise fruit and vegetables, Cut back severely on white and refined carbs. Increase protein. Eat some fat. olive oil, nuts/seeds (30g per day), quality cheese 30g per day. 1 cup milk, 1 cup greek yoghurt. (these last three for your calcium requirements). do not eat low fat foods. Cut back sugar to less than 6 tsp a day. - a kitchen scales will help.

You don't have to count calories but you do have to keep a detailed food diary.
You do have to do it every day.
You do have to watch what you eat in synch with daily or weekly weighing.
You don't have to panic about daily fluctuations with your weight.
You don't have to go to the gym - yes i've already said that.

You could get a pedometer and just walk a little bit more. But its not essential. Just be more active in your life.
Work out your TDEE and cut back about 300 calories. Not 500. If this is comfortable for you, do that until your TDEE changes significantly then do it again and reduce your calorie intake correspondingly. I have found its much better to reduce calories only as little as possible. This way you can enjoy your food much more. Experience less hunger and just find the whole thing more easy which enables you to do it for long enough to reach your goal.

Work out how you want to eat for the rest of your life. This must be a life time change. You can't reach goal and then just stop paying attention. But you can find ways to be less obsessive about it.

When you reach maintenance, look into 5:2 fasting.

Tried looking at your diary. I went back to beginning of September.. No logging. Hope you didn't give up. Have you tried drinking more liquid (water)? Sometimes our body will tell us its hungry when really it is dehydrated.

Hi Raven, i have found intensive engagement with a forum helpful (although the common forum on here is a bait scary at times - there are better ones ) when things are going wrong. And in your case with the stresses and arguments and such, finding a good professional ear also really helps as well.

I just got to 1 kilo from goal and ended up having my first binge of the year, (though i resisted eating bad food so the binge behaviour didn't develop). Its upsetting i know and I was worried about it. But the next day i tried again.

I know its different for me because i don't have any significant stresses at the moment but i was feeling a bit off in my mood and i think it was because my calories were a little too low.

You don't really need to go to the gym. Just change your eating habit and drink two liters of water everyday. Cut out all drinks except water. Cut out all un-natural sugars off your diet. Eat a lot of veggies and fruits, eat lean meat. Three months ago I weighed 161 pounds. Now, I weigh 139 from just dieting. Not to mention, when you eat healthy, you feel so much better, you are rarely ever constipated, your skin is better, everything. Your stomach is softer because you are not bloated. I love grains, I will always lovr pasta and whole grain bread. They are my favorite, however, I limit my intake to 1 or 2 sandwich(es) a week. I also take 3 tablespoons of chia seeds daily with a banana smoothie for 12g of fiber.