Body Image Issue - heal with time?

Options
MistyHiker
MistyHiker Posts: 175 Member
Okay so yesterday with the electricity still out we had to go to the laundry mat to do our laundry. Usually I do a couple of loads here or there but with no electricity from Thursday night until Sunday night I didn't get any done.

Well long story short I'm folding cloths at the laundry mat and I pick up a shirt. You have to understand my husband is a little man. He is 5'-4" and has always weighted between 160 and 175 for the last 15 years we've been together.

So I pick up a small shirt and automatically think "this is his" and turn it inside out and was about to fold it and throw in his pile.

I'm standing there looking like an idiot staring at this shirt. It's not his shirt it's mine!

I'm scared! I don't think my mind is ready for this! I look in the mirror or I look at my cloths and I still see this 320lb size 26 clothing woman.

Am I going crazy or with time will this feeling pass?

Replies

  • Thaeda
    Thaeda Posts: 834 Member
    Options
    I can relate. For me, that fear is tied to the fear I will gain the weight back. "I can't really be this small.... I can't possibly sustain this.... I am going to gain the weight back, I just know it."-- the thoughts are all connected like cars on a freight train. My yoga teacher helped me with this when she told me to practice accpeting that this IS who I am. I am not pretending to be a thinner person. I am not an imposter. This is ME and will remain me. I am still working with that issue, but every time I start that "thinking train", I stop myself and remind myself that the body I have now belongs to me and I am just where I should be. Hope that helps. Best to you. :flowerforyou:
  • MistyHiker
    MistyHiker Posts: 175 Member
    Options
    Me seeing the bigger cloths while folding cloths got to me too.

    My hubby even suggested I get rid of everything that I no longer fit in after I told him how I felt.

    He said so I'll get used to seeing my new sizes.

    Good idea?
  • JreedyJanelle
    JreedyJanelle Posts: 645 Member
    Options
    Get rid of anything that is too big, I have to go through my closet, but I already started a pile to donate. Keeping those large sizes is a crutch! You will not regain your weight, you will continue to stay in the smaller size. Be proud of what you have done.! You are beautiful and deserve this new you! You will get used to the smaller sizes!
  • Thaeda
    Thaeda Posts: 834 Member
    Options
    Me seeing the bigger cloths while folding cloths got to me too.

    My hubby even suggested I get rid of everything that I no longer fit in after I told him how I felt.

    He said so I'll get used to seeing my new sizes.

    Good idea?

    FAB idea!! I refuse to wear anything that does not fit. I want to get used to seeing myself in fitted clothes so I can grow accustomed to my new bod. Plus, now that i can wear "normal" sizes, can shop anywhere-- and it is fun!
  • katematt313
    katematt313 Posts: 624 Member
    Options
    You will get there. It just takes time to recognize that your body is changing. Congratulations on your progress :)
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
    Options
    I go through the same thing - sometimes it's hard for me to believe what I see in the mirror. I will pick up a shirt and think, this will never fit, and it does, and it shocks me lol! Sometimes I still see myself as I was before, which is ridiculous. My friends are very good at talking me off the ledge when I get all weird about it - one friend calls it "having one of your crazy moments". If someone looks at me, I still think, "what, you've never seen a fat girl before?", because that was what I would think before. I have felt like an imposter at times, especially when I would go into regular size stores. Most of us are just plain conditioned to see ourselves a certain way because that's how we have seen ourselves for so long. I am making a conscious effort to really own my progress that I have worked so hard for. I always tell my therapist, "you are really earning your money with me" lol.

    I second what Thaeda said about getting rid of old clothes. Wearing clothes that fit can make a big difference in how you see yourself. You have done a really fabulous job and you should be so proud of what you have accomplished!
  • MistyHiker
    MistyHiker Posts: 175 Member
    Options
    I'm sitting here crying reading your posts!

    Thanks to each of you for your helpful thoughts and comments.

    THANK YOU - JreedyJanelle
    THANK YOU - Thaeda
    THANK YOU - katematt313
    THANK YOU - garber6th

    Going to have to do some closet and dresser drawer cleaning tonight!
  • jennielou75
    jennielou75 Posts: 197 Member
    Options
    Yep you need to have a clear out. It takes a while to get to know and accept that stranger in the mirror but you will. My best moment in my weight loss was when I weighed less than my oh. As he is nearly a foot taller than me it finally felt like the world was right!!
    Jennie
  • MistyHiker
    MistyHiker Posts: 175 Member
    Options
    Yep you need to have a clear out. It takes a while to get to know and accept that stranger in the mirror but you will. My best moment in my weight loss was when I weighed less than my oh. As he is nearly a foot taller than me it finally felt like the world was right!!
    Jennie

    THANKS!!! :flowerforyou:

    I laughed out loud when I read this! I so want that day!

    I told my hubby my REAL goal is just to weight less then him!!! :happy:
  • Qski
    Qski Posts: 246 Member
    Options
    Hi, I agree with everyone else, ditch the clothes that don't fit. Shed it like a skin.
    I have read on here (in the USA) that there are lots of places that kind of do swaps for women losing weight, where you get to give your clothes to someone who was bigger than you are, who now fits into yours and you get to swap for others. I don't think there is anything like that here in Australia, you could do recycled until you get to your goal, so that you are not attaching yourself financially to every size you drop. (Unless of course you have the money, then by all means, shop for each new size :)!!)

    There is an exercise in a Louise Hay book called Heal Your Life that may be very appropriate for you. It is about looking yourself in the mirror and telling that person you love them. You could extend that to being unclothed in front of a full length mirror and tell all your bits and therefore you that you love yourself. It can be a getting to know your changing body exercise too.

    I also think it's very important to be nice to the fat you - I know people do inner child kind of visualisation exercises. Imagine the fat girl who was unhappy about herself (even if she didn't have to be or had so much to give anyway). And give her the love she needs.

    These are both things that I found very difficult (I didn't do them for body related issues though I have those too). But it feels good to acknowledge yourself, and if it's really tough keep doing it. (I couldn't look myself in the eye - meaningfully-, let alone tell myself that I was okay or worthy of love).

    On a lighter note (ha ha) I was with an ex at the time, but I had lost a large amount of weight and I remember saying to him I bet I could fit into your pants now, he laughed; but when I proved I could, he went on a diet right away (silly because he wore a size 32/34 pants anyway).
  • MistyHiker
    MistyHiker Posts: 175 Member
    Options
    Thank you so much for the insight Qski!

    If I could afford it - LOL!

    I understand that each 2nd or 3rd Wednesday of the month they do a clothing drop/swap at a Weight clinic. I might have to double check and do it!
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
    Options
    MistyHiker wrote: »
    Me seeing the bigger cloths while folding cloths got to me too.

    My hubby even suggested I get rid of everything that I no longer fit in after I told him how I felt.

    He said so I'll get used to seeing my new sizes.

    Good idea?

    Yes! I have gone from a size 34/4X to an 18/XL so far and I got rid of all but one leather coat I am trying to sell. I don't want to have anything to go back into. It makes it more permanent for me.

    I agree with Thaeda too. I fear regain and have to keep reminding myself that regaining is a choice. I don't have to out eat or out drink the plan, I can make these permenant changes.

    It takes time for our minds to catch up with our bodies, so be patient with yourself. But also, move forward by getting rid of your "fat" clothes. You really will feel better.

    Pat

  • MistyHiker
    MistyHiker Posts: 175 Member
    Options
    THANKS EVERYONE!
  • jkern9110
    jkern9110 Posts: 119 Member
    Options
    I think one of the things I was most excited about was when I could start wearing my fiancés t-shirts. He has some XL and some L. I'm now into his Large t-shirts (women's XL) and it still excites me to wear one of his shirts around the house. I eagerly await the day when his Large shirts are too big for me!

    I concur with what everyone else has said...get rid of those big clothes! There is no point in keeping them. I don't think we always realize how far we come until we get brave enough to try on that next size down.

    I had garage sales to sell my too big clothes and made over $400 on clothes alone. I would buy clothes from thrift shops and discount stores like Ross, Marshalls, and Burlington. I didn't see the point to spending a ton of money on clothes that I anticipated being too big within a few weeks/months. I focused on getting staple items. You don't need a ton of pants. Just get a few that fit you really well and you can recycle them throughout the week. Then get some simple inexpensive shirts. People are less likely to realize on Friday that you wore the same thing on Monday if it is just solid colored items. Avoid patterned items if you aren't trying to replace your entire wardrobe.

    I also realized that I could hold on to dresses a little bit longer than I could the pants and shirts. You can really tell when pants are too big, but with a dress that is too big you can add a belt to synch in the waist. I also focus on tops that can do double duty- that I can pair with some dress pants for work or wear with jeans on the weekends.