Sorry you are in hard place right now! Please remember the 12 steps. Yes, it is our own fault if we eat too much, but you are not alone. You don't have to do it on your own. Admit you are powerless over food and let go of it, give it to your higher power. We cannot overcome our compulsive eating, but we can surrender to our higher power who is able to restore us. I have been doing this for less than a month (I'm focusing on steps 1-3), so I don't have it figured out, but it has really helped me to give my desire for food to my higher power every day, or multiple times a day! Try not to listen to the lies in your head telling you to stop trying.

The Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5.Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7.asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

There is a lot more information and tools on the Overeaters Anonymous website: www.oa.org

This board really helped me. I really think I'm alone in these feelings sometime. I don't even know why I do it, honestly. Like I'm not emotional I think I'm just bored! So far I've been trying to replace sitting on the couch eating with at the gym on the treadmill watching netflix. It's really helped a lot so far. The only problem is I have a desk job so I've been known to eat at work a lot.

I'm going to start trying to follow these steps too, I really hope it helps.

Don't forget the 12 promises of OA. When I was in a different support group I found it was good to read the promises everyday, it gives the best pick-me-up. Now, get off that sinking sad ship and pull into happy harbor!