November 3,2014
wennim
Posts: 276 Member
Hope everyone had a good weekend. I am going to just ramble for a minute.
For the first time since I started this journey for the last time in March 2014 I am really starting to doubt myself. This weekend I was bad. I went over on Friday but was still under for the week and managed to get in a ride everyday. I made the mistake of grabbing jerky for a snack on the trail on Sunday and now my weight is way up again. I managed to stay under calories for the rest of the weekend but my choices of foods were not the best. I know it is water but to go from being almost under 200 to where it seems impossible again is really wearing on me.
I know I need to get remotivated or things will just go back to the way they were almost 100 lbs ago. I suffer from anxiety and I am just obsessing over this. I find myself starting to think that what if this is all I can lose? What if I can never get down to a healthy weight? I am in the best shape of my life but the weight has stopped coming off. I have to work a lot harder to burn calories now than I did even a couple of months ago. I don't know that I would be happy at this weight for the rest of my life. Before I always got stuck at 240 and this time that didn't happen but I am getting frustrated. We are nearing on the holiday season and I know that could do major damage to my efforts that plus it getting to cold/dark/snowy to ride much longer is really scaring me.
How do you force yourself to keep going when you are getting no results? Is there a point where you just have to accept that this is the way it is going to be and learn to live with it?
For the first time since I started this journey for the last time in March 2014 I am really starting to doubt myself. This weekend I was bad. I went over on Friday but was still under for the week and managed to get in a ride everyday. I made the mistake of grabbing jerky for a snack on the trail on Sunday and now my weight is way up again. I managed to stay under calories for the rest of the weekend but my choices of foods were not the best. I know it is water but to go from being almost under 200 to where it seems impossible again is really wearing on me.
I know I need to get remotivated or things will just go back to the way they were almost 100 lbs ago. I suffer from anxiety and I am just obsessing over this. I find myself starting to think that what if this is all I can lose? What if I can never get down to a healthy weight? I am in the best shape of my life but the weight has stopped coming off. I have to work a lot harder to burn calories now than I did even a couple of months ago. I don't know that I would be happy at this weight for the rest of my life. Before I always got stuck at 240 and this time that didn't happen but I am getting frustrated. We are nearing on the holiday season and I know that could do major damage to my efforts that plus it getting to cold/dark/snowy to ride much longer is really scaring me.
How do you force yourself to keep going when you are getting no results? Is there a point where you just have to accept that this is the way it is going to be and learn to live with it?
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Replies
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Wennim, we've all been there! Remember that you are NOT alone.
Give yourself time to adjust for water retention and remember that maintaining for a little bit is not the end of world. (It can feel like it when we are working so hard, but it isn't.) The scale is a fickle, fickle thing and you have to try to ward off the ugly thoughts that lead us back to where we started.
Hugs!
And if you need to vent some more...just message me.0 -
I go and read some of the more motivating persons I've found on here - their blogs and such. Then I go read my own blogs and such. I've gotten to that point, too, where it seems like there is no more forward progress. What I have to remember is that I'm not doing these things I'm doing until I hit a certain mark and then stop...I'm doing these things for myself and my own benefit. I'm not going to stop because the scale isn't moving. If the scale stays at 251.8 for the rest of my life, I will still be gaining health every single day because I choose to continue to take one more step, do one more squat, one more plank, one more pushup...
I gained a certain sense of freedom when I decided mostly to ignore the scale. When I can't ignore it (because I'm in a challenge or what-have-you), I just blithely see the numbers and disregard them. It doesn't help that as I've been ramping up my exercise these last couple weeks, I've gained water weight and lost nothing... SIGH
As for workouts, right now I am doing walks on my breaks and bodyweight exercises (planks, wall pushups, chair squats). Even at over 250 and in relatively MEH kind of health, I can still do these. My planks with good form aren't even ten seconds...my wall pushups are at maybe 15 degrees...and my chair squats....functional, that's about it...
And that is all I can do right now. Some days, even that feels like more than I can manage. Figure out something else to do in the time you would have gone for a ride that you can do indoors, etc. Me personally, I do most of mine during breaks at work, because once I'm home, I don't want my guy to see, etc.
We ALL struggle with things like this off and on (some of us far more on than off) or we likely would never have qualified for this group....
So as she said above, we're here. HUGS, FEEL GOODS, GUILT BANISHINGS, and DETERMINATION SEEDS ... all to you!! HUGS, Carly
P.S. Drink a ton of water for a couple days and banish that jerky's extra water retention (this weekend was a bad sodium week for me too)0 -
How do you force yourself to keep going when you are getting no results? Is there a point where you just have to accept that this is the way it is going to be and learn to live with it?
So, the way it's going to be is you've lost a whole lot of weight and you're still on the journey. That's not a bad way to be, IMHO. It's certainly better than it was when you started, right?
It's okay to take a break from time to time. Just don't "close the book". It's not over until you believe it's over. In the immortal words of Steve Perry "Don't stop believin'!"
The way I keep moving forward is remember what I'm doing this for - me! I deserve this! I feel better. I look better. I like feeling and looking better, and I know there's more of that ahead for me.
I like what Carly said about reading motivational blogs, including ones you yourself have written. Can you go back through and look at old posts you've made and remind yourself of your spunkiness?
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What is your weekly.goal wennim? Is it worth reevaluating? I currently.aim for 2a week but when I hit the big 5-0 will drop it.to 1.5. It.will take longer but means I.can make.it.sustainable long term. I also try not to worry if it's slow for a while as I.look at my.pattern. I tend to.lose.slow.for a week or two then drop a bunch. Where in your pattern are you. Also measurements and photos help me remember weight loss is.more than a number.
I'm nowhere near where you are I've only.lost a cpl stone and ive not.hit a plateau yet but when it.does I will have these same.demons.to face and I.can only.hope I.will remember the progress I've.made so far and the hard.work that's gone in and how.I've proved I can do.it and keep doing it. You have lost 100lb amd that's just amazing. You don't.do that by not.knowing what you are doing. You don't lose 100lb by.mistake. You know how to.fix it.and get.your head back in the game. Allow yourself a blip but keep it on.mind how.amazing.you re.to have done what you have done and let that person take over again.
I don't.know if any of that helps but I know.you can do this0 -
Another thing I just realized. I REFUSE and I mean flat out refuse to set an end goal with a number. While that works for some, like our amazing Lise ^^ there, it so does not work for me. In fact, it is counter-intuitive for me. My sarcastic sense of inner self voice goes, "HAHAHA...you think you can do WHAT?? Yeah, let's show you reality again, WWWitch!!!!!" And yes, my inner self is snarky, but she can be a total inner goddess at times, too. My inner me is either bipolar or schizophrenic, so there you go!
By not setting hard and fast goals, I can focus on the process. For example, two weeks ago, squats and I weren't friends. Last friday, I did two sets of 20... Planks and I still aren't friends, but this week I'm going to add 50% to my time. That sounds a hell of a lot more impressive than saying I'm going from 5 seconds to 7-8 seconds...but it is the same thing... If I make it, I'm a rockstar. If I don't, tomorrow is another day...another chance to be that rockstar.
This damned stuff is finally all about me. I can cheer on everyone else, and forget how to cheer me on, but damn it, even if I don't recognize it all the time, the fact that I mostly adhered to a plan last week, because it was a plan built in with flexibility and such to work with my bent psyche made it achievable, that fact blows my mind... I doubt I could have done that 2-3 months ago. I know I couldn't have done it 2-3 years ago.
So that tells me I'm doing something right, no matter how small. And for me, that means a helluva lot more than any stupid numbers on a scale.
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