Closeted: How do you explain 'No girlfriend'
JonDyn
Posts: 156 Member
For you guys (and gals) who are still in the closet like myself, What excuses do you have when people ask why you've never been in a relationship with a woman?
(I think my reason's are starting to run out)
(I think my reason's are starting to run out)
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leicesteralex wrote: »
Sorry to our female followers-1 -
Same but opposite problem (although to be honest not many people ask)... if it ever comes up I say I'm just focusing on myself and my career right now, trying to establish myself and learn more about myself while I'm still young.
I'm sorry it's becoming problematic for you. "Just not interested in dating right now" should be sufficient, but I know people can be persistent. It would be easier if we could be honest. Hang in there!0 -
When I was closeted I invented a long distance relationship. I know it seems extreme, but it was pretty easy. Not the most mature approach, but it worked for me for quite a while.0
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Same but opposite problem (although to be honest not many people ask)... if it ever comes up I say I'm just focusing on myself and my career right now, trying to establish myself and learn more about myself while I'm still young.
I'm sorry it's becoming problematic for you. "Just not interested in dating right now" should be sufficient, but I know people can be persistent. It would be easier if we could be honest. Hang in there!
'not interested in dating' worked the first few times
they are starting to suspect 0 -
Frankly, it is none of anyone's business and it is tacky for them to ask. Just simply say that you enjoy being single. Period, and end of conversation. If they persist, just gently remind them once again, that you enjoy being single. Otherwise, societal times are a changing, and acceptance is more the norm now.0
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I remember being in the closet and I got tired of the questions and avoidance tricks so one day I just simply replied "Why are you so interested in me?" (to another male). I think my response embarrassed him and made him think. He stopped asking after that.
It's a process that you go through and it does get easier with age. Unless you are in a position where you will lose your job, housing, family ties, etc., does it REALLY matter? People talk behind others' backs all the time and I finally came to the conclusion that knowing the truth about me removes that topic from the gossip fodder. As an added benefit, you will find out who your true friends are and you won't have to watch what you say! Of course this is easy for me to say because I'm out now but I wasn't always and I do understand. Good luck!0 -
I am not closeted any longer, and I have to say the mental weight and stress that was lifted when I blew the door off the closet and shared my secrets. I have vowed never to have another secret. As far as relationships, a few people have said it.... 1st.... It is rude for anyone to pry or pressure you for personal information. Some peopld use this as an opening line to gloat and brag on their relationship. 2. The I am working on myself, or really dont have time for someone else in my life is always my line, or having a relationship during my transition period is not fair to the other person for these reasons: A. If I date a hetero female and have my SRS, she wants a male, so ends that relationship. B. If I date a gay male and have the SRS, then he wants a male, so ends the relationship. C. If I date a lesbian and donf have the SRS, she wants a female, so ends ths relationship. D. If I date a hetero male, I have to already have had the SRS, so no chance of a relationship until then.
So I am caught in a limbo until things are decided and reach a final outcome. So I am single out of respect for the other person and not wanting to fall in love with someone that will not stay with me.
Dont let other people dictate your life. I was never so scared in my life as the day I told people I was transgender. People left my life I thought were "friends". But for every one that left someone filled the spot and truely do not miss them in my life. My worst fear was to lose my kids, fortunately I raised them right, and they have stick with me. We are closer now than before. I am no longer the manly man I was required to be to hide the girly girl that was hiding and living inside me.
In short, get out of the closet. Dont let social expectations and norms force you to hide your identity. Live Free, Live Well !!!
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that you dont want a girlfriend and its non of their business why!0
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"I'm gay" might work
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2. The I am working on myself, or really dont have time for someone else in my life is always my line, or having a relationship during my transition period is not fair to the other person for these reasons: A. If I date a hetero female and have my SRS, she wants a male, so ends that relationship. B. If I date a gay male and have the SRS, then he wants a male, so ends the relationship. C. If I date a lesbian and donf have the SRS, she wants a female, so ends ths relationship. D. If I date a hetero male, I have to already have had the SRS, so no chance of a relationship until then.
So I am caught in a limbo until things are decided and reach a final outcome. So I am single out of respect for the other person and not wanting to fall in love with someone that will not stay with me.
I'm not ready yet, but I'm planning on dating after divorce and regaining stability. I'm feeling mostly straight lately... so straight/pan men I may have GRS by the time I do date, but if not things will just be less sexual for a while. My genitals and my capability for sex aren't and never will be the most valuable part about me. 0 -
I always tell them I'm just focusing on myself and my goals.
That I'm content and happy with myself.
I'm not lying to them either
I would think being in a relationship is so much of a distraction when you could be working on yourself.
Then I joke and tell them that no one wants me ;___; and then they feel bad and change the subject LOL0 -
All good excuses..0
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