Scared and Questioning

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MissMissie1987
MissMissie1987 Posts: 72 Member
edited December 2014 in Social Groups
My surgery is Feb. 9th for the gastric sleeve. I have so many people in my ear giving me their negative opinions and then I go home and questioning why I am going to put myself through this. I also know all of the possible complications.

My grandmother died at the age of 37 from heart disease, my mom had her 2nd out of 3 heart attacks at age 40. I am diabetic, hypertension, high cholesterol. Diabetes runs in both sides of my family...and my father's side are all stick thin.

Harsh reality.....probably with follow suit with early heart disease.

I am soo nervous I won't have a positive experience. I know the first couple of months is the toughest to due the healing process and the readjusting to a new life style. I have a problem now with will power and emotional eating. I am trying to change that but I still find myself eating not so great. I question if I can't do it before why do I think that I can do it after. Please help with thoughts and opinions. I am seeing a counsler and will talk to her, but I just want to hear others.
Did anyone else suffer from emotional eating? How did you change? Is it still an issue?

Replies

  • nowucme
    nowucme Posts: 88 Member
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    I had some of the same feelings just this week. Then I remembered the proven benefits of the surgery, especially for conditions like diabetes and hypertension. And then there is the fact that you and I will have medical support teams monitoring our progress, as well as support groups, and this forum full of great people. I too worry about emotional eating but we need to keep focused on a new healthy lifestyle and use the pre-surgery time to relearn how to eat for nourishment rather than comfort. I am trying to focus on the potential gains in my life rather than the possible negatives.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    First of all, it's SO normal to be nervous and have doubts. It's a big deal to have surgery. I would wonder if you WEREN'T nervous. I started out at 382 lbs. Did I suffer from emotional eating? I sure did. How did I change? I had and still have an amazing therapist and we worked through my issues well before I even considered surgery. I changed my habits and lost 70 lbs prior to surgery. I truly believe that the more you do and the more you lose before surgery, the more you set yourself up for success, and the easier your recovery will be. We have all lost weight without the help of surgery. I was really good at losing weight lol. Keeping it off, well, not so much. I have said this before in this group - I decided to have surgery because when I asked myself if I could do it on my own, the answer was "maybe", and at that point in my life, "maybe" was not enough. I have lost a total of 208 lbs. I am no longer on BP meds, I no longer have chronic back pain, I no longer have knee pain, I have tons of energy, I feel amazing, and my quality of life has improved drastically. For me, surgery was the best decision I ever made.
  • talinaklocke
    talinaklocke Posts: 42 Member
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    My surgery is Feb. 9th for the gastric sleeve. I have so many people in my ear giving me their negative opinions and then I go home and questioning why I am going to put myself through this. I also know all of the possible complications.

    My grandmother died at the age of 37 from heart disease, my mom had her 2nd out of 3 heart attacks at age 40. I am diabetic, hypertension, high cholesterol. Diabetes runs in both sides of my family...and my father's side are all stick thin.

    Harsh reality.....probably with follow suit with early heart disease.

    I am soo nervous I won't have a positive experience. I know the first couple of months is the toughest to due the healing process and the readjusting to a new life style. I have a problem now with will power and emotional eating. I am trying to change that but I still find myself eating not so great. I question if I can't do it before why do I think that I can do it after. Please help with thoughts and opinions. I am seeing a counsler and will talk to her, but I just want to hear others.
    Did anyone else suffer from emotional eating? How did you change? Is it still an issue?

    It is SO normal to be nervous and have these fears! I too had people who felt it necessary to give me negative opinions and try to convince me I could do it "on my own", or I "just need to exorcise more" or blah, blah, blah. These are the people who think surgery is a "cheat" or an "easy fix". This surgery is a tool and by no means an easy fix!
    I didn't have much as far as emotional support and that worried me, but I know that for me surgery was a tool I desperately needed, even if I had to do it all on my own. I look back at my kids childhood and see all the things I missed out on, I never got to really play and run around with them, I missed out on so much. My kids are not mostly grown. By the time I have grandkids I want to be healthy enough to ENJOY them! I want to run around and be silly and play with them. Most of all I just want to BE healthy!
    I was also an emotional eater, and there are times where I find myself wanting to eat when I'm not hungry. It's HARD to change something you've done for most of your life. But with surgery it becomes much harder to over eat, and when you do you will feel it, it will hurt, and hopefully you will learn from that. I am only 3 months post op so and still have a long road ahead of me, but I have had a couple of times that I've eaten when I wasn't hungry, just bored, or lonely, or upset, and my body kicked my butt for it. It physically hurts to eat to much now and I don't like the feeling, so I've learned not to over eat. This for me is one way I'm learning to change these bad habits.
    Having a counselor/therapist is a great idea, especially if you can find one who works with baratric patients. I have one that works out of my surgeons office. But it's important to have someone to talk to.
    Just remember you are doing this for you, for YOUR health, for YOUR life, not anyone else. So don't let others talk you out of what I'm sure you've given lots of thought to in order to make the decision to have surgery. A lot of people don't understand, some of them can't understand, and that's okay. You will get through this and have a happier, healthier, longer life because of it :)
  • Dannadl
    Dannadl Posts: 120 Member
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    I had RNY almost 3 years ago. My 1st piece of advise it to stop talking to people about your upcoming surgery. Ultimately it's none of their business and their "advise" and opinions are not helping you. As a side note, I homeschool my kids. I do so for a variety of reasons that are pretty specific to my kids. I'm their Mother, I'm educated and didn't enter into this decision lightly. However, when I was considering homeschooling, EVERYONE seemed to have an opinion on the subject, whether they had any personal experience, education or expertise on it. Same with weight loss surgery. So my advise is to end the discussions, stop telling people and stop answering their questions.

    Next, don't worry about things that haven't happened. Deal with them if they do. Could you have a bad surgical and recovery experience? I suppose you could. But you could just as easily or more easily have a good one. Especially if you follow your surgeon's advise and program.

    I had laparoscopic RNY. I was 44 years old when I had surgery and weighed 347.5lbs. I felt great post op in the hospital. 6 hours after surgery I was up walking around. My surgeon required that we be up walking in the hospital every 60-90 min from 6am until midnight once the anesthetic wore off. It REALLY helped to speed healing. I had surgery at 1pm on a Friday and came home at 9am on Sunday. My only complication was that it turned out that I was allergic to the acid reducer they prescribed (Protonics). I'd never had it before and it made me break out in hives. It took about 5 days for the hives to go away and I lived on liquid Benadryl for 3 of them. It was annoying and uncomfortable but not life threatening.

    The Tuesday after I was released from the hospital I went to my 1st post op class and my surgeon had me eat my 1st solid food. Again it went well. I hit a weight loss stall at 3 weeks out (which you should be prepared for it is VERY common), it totally freaked me out (again very common reaction) and my husband ended up taking the scale and hiding it for a month (super helpful for me emotionally). I didn't exercise pretty much at all for a year after surgery and lost 124lbs the 1st year. I don't recommend this, but it is what I did. FYI it's 80% what you put in your mouth and 20% or less exercise. After a year I began exercising. I have NEVER been athletic. A month ago I ran and completed the Disneyland Marvel Avenger's 1/2 marathon. I've also done a number of 5K's and obstacle races. I'm 47 years old now and I'm sitting at about 175lbs (I'm 5'7"). I'd like to drop another 40lbs this next year. I have a small hernia that will need to be repaired eventually, I'm hoping to hold off on the repair until I've dropped the last 40lbs and then combine the hernia repair with a tummy tuck, but we'll see.

    There have been times that different foods have not agreed with me for a while, and then they do again. Honey is the only thing that I've found that consistently makes me dump.

    Will weight loss surgery solve all of your weight problems? No. Is it "the easy way out?" No. What it does is give you time and force you to change some habits and that facilitates weight loss. Eventually you can get to the point that you can subvert the tool that weight loss surgery is, hopefully by then you've established new habits and coping skills. My husband had RNY 2 months after I did. He's lost 180lbs and maintained his loss. My SIL had RNY 10 years ago and has regained a lot of weight. However, she doesn't exercise. She carried candy and pretzels around in her purse and she bakes cookies 3 times a week at home. She doesn't take her vitamins anymore and doesn't follow the protein guidelines. Basically she's an example of exactly what to do if you want to regain weight.

    Set up your home environment to win, as much as you can. Follow the Dr.'s program and you'll be fine. Everyone worries and wonders if they will be the person this doesn't work for. But if you follow the program, it will work.
  • MissMissie1987
    MissMissie1987 Posts: 72 Member
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    Thank you everyone for the advice, it has helped me a lot!!
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
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    MissMissie, I had issues pre surgery (sleeve) where I would eat, sleep and shop when emotionally distressed, angry, etc. My attitude was "why not eat it? It's not going to help me lose weight anyway, nothing does!". Post surgery I still want to sleep and shop but for some reason I no longer want to eat. In fact, when upset I tend to not eat now, almost as though my attitude is "so what if I need so many calories or protein grams, too bad, I'm not doing it". And yes, I realize neither attitude is a good one. But my point is, you may find the emotionally eating is the same but you may find it's not. Your best bet is to find a support group or counselor to help you with that if you still need it after surgery. For a lot of us, our whole relationship with food has changed. We eat because we need to rather than because we want to. I still enjoy good food, but most times a bite or two is all I need and the "want" is gone.

    As for the health issues you mention, again no guarantees that you won't have them, but your odds are so much better at a healthy weight. I didn't do this to be "model thin" as I told my doctor, I did this to be healthy and mobile. Losing the weight isn't going to fix my life, but it's going to make it so much better in so many ways and my health is just one of them. Yes, I may still have heart issues (my dad and his parents all did) or blood pressure issues with stroke (my mom's side) or cancer (both sides), but at 164 pounds down so far, my odds have greatly improved and I no longer need blood pressure meds.

    Yes it's scary, but once done and you are healed, I'm betting you will feel the way 99% of us do. That this is the best thing you have ever done for yourself!
  • TheCurvyJ
    TheCurvyJ Posts: 43 Member
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    Everyone thinks they'll be the one person the Sleeve doesn't work for. I was that person too. But it worked for me.

    It can be scary.. but it's a helluva ride. At this time, you need people around you who are positive and supportive. If people insist on telling you horror stories, distance yourself from them. It's going to be stressful enough just getting yourself to that operating table. The last thing you need is naysayers and people who are trying to scare you. Take care of you. if you're confident in your decision, know that you're doing the right thing for YOU.

    The first few weeks, for me, were actually not that bad. i think I was just so excited to be doing something for me...
  • JreedyJanelle
    JreedyJanelle Posts: 645 Member
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    I wished I had done it sooner! I wanted to do it a few years ago, but didn't because I was afraid. Well, now I wouldn't trade this tool for anything!
  • MissMissie1987
    MissMissie1987 Posts: 72 Member
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    Thank you for all of your input everyone!!
  • ChaniGetsHealthy
    ChaniGetsHealthy Posts: 32 Member
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    I definitely suffered from emotional eating (and still do to a certain extent) but I went through a treatment program for it and continue to see a therapist. Best thing I have ever done for myself! Good luck!
  • klcovington
    klcovington Posts: 381 Member
    edited January 2015
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    Preparation is key. From research to planning. It gives us weapons in our battle --- and it IS a battle. Weigh your own personal pros and cons for why you are considering this surgery for you. Keep those in your mind as you deal with food temptations and exercise avoidance excuses. That is what I am trying to do. I have been testing the limits of my sleeve and I need to stop doing that. For a while after surgery, I was so afraid that I couldn't eat this-or-that..ever again. I have found that I CAN eat more than I thought I would be able to and more types of foods than I expected to be able to. The sleeve is a tool --- a very strong weapon in your battle --- but still just a tool. I still feel hungry. I still get cravings. I can still overeat. I can still find excuses not to exercise. I don't say that to scare you. I say that to be honest. To help you plan for what you will be up against. Would I change things? Absolutely NOT! I feel blessed that I now have my sleeve as a tool in my battle. I wish you the best in your journey!
  • rpyle111
    rpyle111 Posts: 1,066 Member
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    Preparation is key. From research to planning. It gives us weapons in our battle --- and it IS a battle. Weigh your own personal pros and cons for why you are considering this surgery for you. Keep those in your mind as you deal with food temptations and exercise avoidance excuses. That is what I am trying to do. I have been testing the limits of my sleeve and I need to stop doing that. For a while after surgery, I was so afraid that I couldn't eat this-or-that..ever again. I have found that I CAN eat more than I thought I would be able to and more types of foods than I expected to be able to. The sleeve is a tool --- a very strong weapon in your battle --- but still just a tool. I still feel hungry. I still get cravings. I can still overeat. I can still find excuses not to exercise. I don't say that to scare you. I say that to be honest. To help you plan for what you will be up against. Would I change things? Absolutely NOT! I feel blessed that I now have my sleeve as a tool in my battle. I wish you the best in your journey!

    Well Said!

    I found myself probing the boundaries of my program as well, and I believe it is not a good road to travel! I need to get myself back on the program and not try to find out how much I can stray!

    Rob