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Unmotivated, not in the mood, ugh!

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jobrandes
jobrandes Posts: 136 Member
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So life has seriously sucked lately. 2014 was the worst ever! My partner of 8 years and I split up (horrible year) and we had just finished a long fight to get our son adopted so it should have been a very happy time. He's 2. We got him when he was born and it was a long fight. I got laid off from my job, got it back a couple months later but in a different city so have been commuting (1 hr flight) back and forth to see my son (and partner at the time) and in the meantime during the year hadn't been working out, been eating like crap and just feel horrible. I hope a little bit of hope that maybe we'd get back together but all hope seems lost. I just don't know what to do. I used to be the one that motivated others to get in shape, eat better, workout and join me and now I'm the one who needs help to even function. I have no friends in the city we live (not the one I work) cause I moved there to be with her and all the friends I used to have are hers. It is so pathetic. I am stuck there cause of my son (not a bad thing) but I can't go anywhere so I'm still commuting back and forth to see him with no official home right now cause of this work drama. And here I am telling a bunch of strangers my life story cause who knows. Any advice?

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  • rebolaugh
    rebolaugh Posts: 125 Member
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    Oh Jo, I have no advice but I am so so sorry. Yes, it sounds like 2014 was the worst year ever. All I can say is 2015 will be better (it has to be, right?). I keep writing sentences and erasing them because I don't know what to write. 2010 was my horrible year -- my mom got sick and died suddenly, our little dog died, my wife was pregnant and we lost the baby late-term, our older son was diagnosed with developmental delays and autism, and there were certainly times that I thought we'd be splitting up because the stress was absolutely taking its toll on our relationship, but we went to counseling and stuck it out). Anyway, all I can say from that is that each year has gotten better. 2011: better. 2012: even better: 2013: pretty damn great. 2014: awesome. So I will hope that you have a similar experience. I have not experienced divorce personally but I have friends who have, including friends who have gone through it with young children, and it totally sucks. But it will be okay in the end because it has to be. And your son needs you. Look for a support group, even an online support group. Try to make some friends (Meetup.com? or a spiritual community?) so you create some social circles outside of your ex's community. Be kind to yourself. And try kickboxing -- there's nothing like getting aggression out by punching a bag that you can pretend is someone you're mad at. :)
  • jobrandes
    jobrandes Posts: 136 Member
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    Thank you! I appreciate the response. I really do. I have always thought things happen for a reason and I hope it is true. Sorry about your past troubles too and I am so glad to hear things have gotten so much better over the years. It is nice to hear good news! :) Kickboxing, yeah, always fun! Haha. Thanks again, appreciate it.
  • ThePinkPanda
    ThePinkPanda Posts: 208 Member
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    i'm sorry to hear about your situation :( that's a rough bag. i'm not really sure what to say about it all.

    my only advice is, if you aren't feeling it, don't do it. take a break from logging and focus on the things you need to. it'll be here when you're ready.

    alternatively, you can suck it up and do it anyway (from my own personal experience, if i don't want to track and work out, i won't and no amount of talking about it changes that but i'm not sure how you are about it). It could potentially be exactly what you need to start functioning normally. if it's something you used to do regularly, it could help with the funk.
  • AZTallguy
    AZTallguy Posts: 154 Member
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    I had my rough year four years ago. It was different than yours but every life changing situation is hard no matter what it is. Yours definitely sounds trying to say the least. All I can say are two things. Great job on such a great transformation (your before/after profile pic) and to know that you have people here on MFP and in your life that are rooting for you. Good luck and try to remember this speedbump won't last forever.
  • aeb09
    aeb09 Posts: 424 Member
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    So sorry to hear what you've been through. I don't really know what anyone could say to make it better. I hope, for your sake, that 2015 is better. All you can really do each day is get up and do your best. Hard days/months/years make us who we are and although it's hard to see now, you'll be better for it in the future. I hope things turn around soon for you.

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