Online Dating Etiquette
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I wouldn't tone down your style. The only toning down I would suggest to anyone is the serious stuff. Other than that, be your quirky witty self.
I met guys that either didn't get me, were fascinated by me (but later found I was too "different"... I got dumped by my first post divorce bf and the reasons he gave me were all characteristics he claimed to love when we first met), and a couple of guys whom I actually clicked with.
I was myself.. I'm sarcastic, smart *kitten*, "weird" and seem to do or say things others won't. I've been this way since I was a child so a bit hard to change even if I wanted to.
I do have a bf now whom I live with and when we first started dating he confessed to me he had told his mom about me and she responded saying she was glad he met someone weird like him!
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Don't tone it down, but I would say try to identify why the dates aren't working out with those people... And try to filter them out if you can before spending some of your precious time on a wasted date
Maybe try to be more picky or identify what happens with those people, why it fails? Look for patterns in the profiles, etc.
I will say the following though, that I would define myself as quirky too, and I like to make fun of everything or everyone. I'm (usually) quite confident with people, and I like to hang around people who can take some banter, don't mind acting stupid, being joked at, etc.
Anyway, the problem I had with online dating was that everyone is emboldened by the anonymity, trying to appear to their best and stand out . This creates the too familiar "parallel online universe" where everyone is quirky, alternative, fun, eclectic, sportive, etc. (This is what I have seen as a man...)
So what you're experiencing isn't surprising at all. Personally, my answer to that was focusing on "offline dating" and meeting people in real life through my interests and all (which worked much better).0 -
Alternate universe profiles is right...what is up with all men camping in their profile? I know I live in California but seriously? Everyone likes to camp and go hiking? Who ARE these people?
Anyhow, these gents all have dissimilar backgrounds, education, jobs, looks, height, ethnicities - and not much in common on their profiles. Other than they don't sound like part of the herd. They seem smart, witty and are able to keep up in conversation over text or phone. But when it comes to in person? Fail.
I need more data points before I can draw more conclusions as to the why.
Although strangely enough - most of them have brought up existentialism in conversation (who does that?).
That could still be coincidence though.0 -
Joannah700 wrote: »Although strangely enough - most of them have brought up existentialism in conversation (who does that?).
That's funny
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So I have a random question for everyone...can you tell just looking at someone's picture (basically their eyes) what type of person they are? I ask, because I just started talking to this guy online and we have been exchanging pics (G rated only!). He seems like a great guy, we have a lot in common, and we are planning to meet up sometime this week or weekend (after about 2 weeks of talking online/texts). I have shown his pic to a few close friends and a couple of them say that he's not "right" for me and they wouldn't "trust him" because of his eyes and how he looks in his pics. While I have other friends that think he's cute and haven't said anything like that.
I know it sounds weird, but can you tell a person by their picture?0 -
I don't think so. Are the friends who are saying that watching too many crime shows or something? A picture can't capture someone's personality. If he has been nice and it seems like you would enjoy his company, go for it! If you are feeling a bit worried after what your friends have said, meet him in a very public, well-lit place, preferably during the day. Honestly though, your friends can't make that kind of judgment. It's all up to you.0
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I'm going with NO. Unless there are specific things in the pic like guns or cadavers or crack pipes.0
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I agree. NO! You can't tell anything until you meet face to face!!
I think you can make 'assumptions' based on a picture tho, which is what your friends are doing. But if YOU like the look of him, that's all that matters. Good Luck
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I have always said you can tell a ton by a persons eyes. So .. no .. you cannot get a good read off of a picture. But definitely meet them in public first. Some people have that sixth sense about people though. Just be smart about it.0
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Thanks ladies, I do think my friends have been watching too many crime shows!
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Hmmm I don't think so. But I will be honest and say I would judge guys off of pics. If a guy looked like a player to me, I didn't bother. Maybe I missed out but I ptkbably wasn't that interested in the first place. Now if you had a gut feeling something wasn't right, then trust it but I like to do my own research!0
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Not only meet in public to be safe but make sure a friend knows your plans.
I do think eyes tell a lot about a person but I don't think you can get that from a picture.0 -
So I have a random question for everyone...can you tell just looking at someone's picture (basically their eyes) what type of person they are? I ask, because I just started talking to this guy online and we have been exchanging pics (G rated only!). He seems like a great guy, we have a lot in common, and we are planning to meet up sometime this week or weekend (after about 2 weeks of talking online/texts). I have shown his pic to a few close friends and a couple of them say that he's not "right" for me and they wouldn't "trust him" because of his eyes and how he looks in his pics. While I have other friends that think he's cute and haven't said anything like that.
I know it sounds weird, but can you tell a person by their picture?
No, but I definitely take into account clothes, poses, and surroundings. I'm sure people will tell me that I could be missing out on potentially great guys, but I just don't tend to be attracted to guys who dress a certain way. Or if all their pics are drinking or with chicks, they're probably either douches or party too much for my taste.
But...I wouldn't base too much on what your friends say. Be cautious as always but listen to your instincts when you meet him. You'll be able to tell a lot more in person 0 -
Not only meet in public to be safe but make sure a friend knows your plans.
I do think eyes tell a lot about a person but I don't think you can get that from a picture.
I've been told I have soft, trustworthy (^.^) and adorable looking eyes. (T_T) *coughKATEcough* The only time I would question a girl when it comes to looking at her pics is if there is a cigarette in it. A smoker is a dealbreaker for me when it comes to dating but I still wouldn't just write her off. It could be a older picture and she is no longer a smoker.0 -
Here's a random question, what's the expiration date for pictures on your online dating bio? How old is too old before it should be replaced with something more recent?0
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photo_kyla wrote: »Here's a random question, what's the expiration date for pictures on your online dating bio? How old is too old before it should be replaced with something more recent?
I try to keep everything within a year and close to my look. I change my hair often so will put a disclaimer what hair color I currently have. I used to date my photos so people would know.0 -
I have a few pictures that date back to a couple of years ago. Out of the 8 pictures I have, about 6 of them are within the past year. The other two I posted because they were me all dressed up with my hair and makeup done for a Christmas party and I just liked them. However, it does say the date they were taken, and I pretty much look the exact same, just a different hair style/color.
I would say if you have pictures that are from 5 years ago, and you don't look like that anymore, then you should replace them.0 -
Question: when dating online, how does one get to second base?0
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Tube_socks wrote: »Hmmm I don't think so. But I will be honest and say I would judge guys off of pics. If a guy looked like a player to me, I didn't bother. Maybe I missed out but I ptkbably wasn't that interested in the first place. Now if you had a gut feeling something wasn't right, then trust it but I like to do my own research!
this. this. this.0 -
So I have a random question for everyone...can you tell just looking at someone's picture (basically their eyes) what type of person they are? I ask, because I just started talking to this guy online and we have been exchanging pics (G rated only!). He seems like a great guy, we have a lot in common, and we are planning to meet up sometime this week or weekend (after about 2 weeks of talking online/texts). I have shown his pic to a few close friends and a couple of them say that he's not "right" for me and they wouldn't "trust him" because of his eyes and how he looks in his pics. While I have other friends that think he's cute and haven't said anything like that.
I know it sounds weird, but can you tell a person by their picture?
No, but I definitely take into account clothes, poses, and surroundings. I'm sure people will tell me that I could be missing out on potentially great guys, but I just don't tend to be attracted to guys who dress a certain way. Or if all their pics are drinking or with chicks, they're probably either douches or party too much for my taste.
But...I wouldn't base too much on what your friends say. Be cautious as always but listen to your instincts when you meet him. You'll be able to tell a lot more in person
I make judgments! I'm a judgy person.
If I know I'm not attracted to someone, then I'm not going to click on their profile to read more. But an attractive guy with a bathroom selfie? It's going to need a Fantastic profile to make me click 'like'.
Regarding the guys eyes though? There could be so many other factors involved (light in his eyes, mid smile, etc.) and some people don't photograph well - so wait until you see him in person.
When's the first date?
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