New and frustrated/sad

Posts: 8 Member
edited November 12 in Social Groups
Hi - I was searching online for weight loss support groups and there didn't seem to be much out there. Then I found these communities in the app...so for the first time I'm reaching out and asking for help/support to lose 10lbs....I've NEVER been successful unless I starved myself. I'm trying to stick to the cal goal and I do work out about 4x/wk. My problems are: 1. I feel defeated and frustrated. I'm not convinced I can do this.
2. It seems like the more I focus on wt loss the more I'm fixated on food and wanting to eat.
3. I eat a large volume at night.
4. Even when I don't have a super strong craving I can't seem to NOT have sweets at night. I know the usual tips - take a walk, drink tea etc etc but I seem to forget these tips when I actually need them!

Support, ideas, encouragement would be very welcome and appreciated.

Welcome!

It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.

Replies

  • Posts: 18 Member
    Hi there!

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

    1.) I think everyone on these boards felt the way you do at some point (I know I did). Losing weight is not easy, but you can do it! Take a look at some of the Success Stories on this site. People have lost 100+lbs using MPF, so you can reach your goals too!

    2.) I'm not sure how long you've been trying, but I definitely felt the same way whenever I dieted. Even with MFP, I felt that way for the first week and a half. While your body is getting used to eating less food, I can only suggest focusing on why you're doing what you're doing, and how much better/healthier/sexier you'll feel when you reach your goal.

    3.) I also tend to eat a lot at night. It's definitely not the best habit to have, but I realized that if I only eat when I'm hungry during the day, I end up with 6-700 calories at night, so I can generally eat as much as I want without going over my limit.

    4.) I have a massive problem with sweets too (especially at night). Have you tried switching to healthier alternatives. For example, eating an apple (or other fruit) or lightly sweetened cereal as a late night snack instead of ice cream/chocolates. That's really helped me out a lot.

    I hope this has helped you out. Good luck!
  • Posts: 52 Member
    I know the feeling! Over the last 10 years or so I feel like I've tried various times to just lose about 10 pounds and I never quite made it to my goal. I started doing MFP a year ago when my second child was around 6 months old and I was at my heaviest. I have been pretty successful and have lost 35lbs, and I finally shook that 10lbs I was always trying to lose. I think the most important thing for me was that I didn't rush it. I didn't have any expectations on how long it would take and I took things very slowly. I only eliminated one thing from my diet at a time, and even then I didn't completely eliminate them. The first thing to go was pop, but I still drink pop on the weekends. Then a month or so later I tried cutting back on junky processed foods, then I tried to add more exercise to my routine, then I added more veggies to my diet etc. I never did anything drastic or all at once and now I feel like I can continue what I'm doing forever and hopefully won't gain the weight back! Sweets are definitely still a problem for me and I've just now started to cut back on them, especially at night. Don't be discouraged!
  • Posts: 1,903 Member
    I totally know what you're saying about feeling frustrated and defeated. It's a bit of a cliché around here, but you didn't put the weight on in a day, you're not going to lose it in a day. Find a calorie goal that will work for you, weigh and log everything, and trust the process. This is a good link to help get started: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

    You can still have sweets-- this is a lifestyle change, don't do anything or eliminate anything now that you're not ready to continue in the future. I like sweets, so I started setting aside some calories for something to have at the end of the day before I go to bed. My favorite things change, so if I want Oreos, I'll plan for that... same with ice cream or whatever else.

    Take it one step at a time and make little changes so it won't seem like so much. Hang in there and don't count yourself out before you've even gotten going. You can do this!
  • Oh my gosh -- thank you all so much! I was hoping for a few words of encouragement but this goes beyond that -- the feedback is great. I'm going to give some of these ideas a try.
  • Posts: 6
    edited February 2015
    I'm very thankful for this community. I feel guilty on sites talking about the struggle to loose 10lbs when others are struggling to loose 100+ lbs.

    I'm finding this app very helpful in tracking my calorie intake. I pre plan my meals for the day in the morning to make sure I'm not going over and then if a craving pops up during the day I can review my total calories and see if there's something I can remove, if not then I don't give into my craving. On some days I actually plan for a treat.

    My struggle now is getting through the weekends. During the weekdays I have enough going on that temptations are easier to side step, but weekends are HARD!
  • I feel you 100%. My problem is I start out super motivated but, if I don't see the numbers go down on that scale, I get discouraged. Then starts the cycle of yo yo dieting and starving myself. I know I need to change my way of thinking as well as my way of eating but I set such ridiculous goals for myself. Ugh!!!!!! I did MFP a few years ago before my sister's wedding and did well with it. I even managed to keep the weight off for about two years. Then my life became a series of rollercoaster rides and the emotional binging began. I just want to get back to feeling healthy and not so damned tired all the time. It will be nice to have somewhere to turn where people have the same struggle I do. End rant
  • Posts: 15 Member
    You mentioned getting obsessed with food. I think that's one of the things that bothers me most about tracking food or "dieting" - I start spiraling down a path that I think is MENTALLY unhealthy. I've JUST started to experiment with intermittent fasting and I think that it could work with my "all or nothing" mentality. A 16/8 (fast 16 hours, "feed" 8 hours) seems to sit well with me and it reduces the time I think about food...and because I am generally eating two main meals, it reduces the mental effort of making diet choices which frees up that mental energy for something else (more productive). What I need to work on is making those main meals as whole food, unprocessed and nutrient dense as possible (but without a hyper-obsessive focus on calorie reduction for the actual meal itself). And I also need to commit to some snacking boundaries (IF doesn't work if you binge on crappy food for 8 hours straight). So I think tracking my snacking more closely (with MFP) is the way to go until I have that behavior under better control.

    Oh and it's well documented that you can do IF while working out (though I actually don't work out much right now - another thing to work on), though probably not ideal for an endurance athlete.

    Feel free to add me as a friend - I could definitely use the accountability support!

    Deb
  • Posts: 9 Member
    Hello, welcome to the fitness pal community, I hope this will be the start to successful weight loss journey for you. I've lost 3 stones using this app...although the first 2 stone 2lb was under a different user name. This app is fantastic tool to use and I've also only recently discovered the online community. Once I've caught the weight loss bug I can't be deterred..not even for pizza day at work. I still have cravings but my sacrifice is only short term, maybe 1-2 months followed by a lifetime of a healthy body and full of confidence.
    Dieting is a discipline that has it's ups and downs...just go with the flow and don't get discouraged by slight hiccups along the way. If it was so easy we'd never see an over weight person walking the streets.
    BTW I'm on 1000 cals per day in order to shift any weight...and more and I'll maintain. I'm not exercise heavily as there's no point with so little food intake, I'd just pass out. Once I've hit my goal I'll be upping my intake to maintain and hitting the gym. One goal at a time in my experience...fat loss first then body composition. Trying to do both together proved too difficulty in getting the right balance of food and I'd always gain weight.
    Good luck and keep telling yourself you can do it even if you don't believe it straight away. Summer is coming and I can't wait to be in the sun feeling fabulous about my body.
    oh and ps on the sugar craving...i get my fix through sugar free soft drinks and chewing gum.
  • Posts: 1 Member
    Hiya,

    I am in a similar position i have 9lbs to go and sometimes i feel as if they are superglued. Ive read some other groups on the app and seeing as you work out a fair amount you may well be losing weight but gaining muscle hence no difference on the scales. I stopped going to the gym for a week and dropped 2lbs on the scales but went back as I am working on shape as well as weight. I do get very down about it but setting healthy and realistic expectations helps, it isnt an overnight process as everyone says and the results will take time to show but if you stick with it they will come.

    I also follow slimming world they have brilliant recipes for sweet snacks to kick the night time craving. If not, yoghurts (muller light), fruit, cereal bars or even a few low cal biscuits with a cup of tea are my go to guys!

    Good luck, you can do it!
    X
  • Posts: 1,526 Member
    Hello,

    MFP works! But it isn't always easy, so hang in there.

    As to the night time eating--this is not a problem. I lost over 40 lbs eating dinner at 8:30 every night because my families schedule demanded that. I budgeted my calorie allotment so that I had enough left to eat a moderate meal each night. The bonus was that I didn't get hungry between dinner and bedtime! The time from 5pm to dinner was sometimes rough, so I had lo cal snacks on hand, and planned them into my budget.

    You can do this!
  • I feel you 100%. My problem is I start out super motivated but, if I don't see the numbers go down on that scale, I get discouraged. Then starts the cycle of yo yo dieting and starving myself. I know I need to change my way of thinking as well as my way of eating but I set such ridiculous goals for myself. Ugh!!!!!! I did MFP a few years ago before my sister's wedding and did well with it. I even managed to keep the weight off for about two years. Then my life became a series of rollercoaster rides and the emotional binging began. I just want to get back to feeling healthy and not so damned tired all the time. It will be nice to have somewhere to turn where people have the same struggle I do. End rant

    It's helpful to know this approach worked for you at some point though. That's really encouraging.

    I feel you on the ridiculous goals. I know that stresses me out. I wish I could be like the people who suggest not worrying about how long it takes. I know that would probably relieve some of the "f-it" binging I do every other day...but with summer just around the corner it's hard not to feel rushed to lose this extra weight.
  • d_boo wrote: »
    You mentioned getting obsessed with food. I think that's one of the things that bothers me most about tracking food or "dieting" - I start spiraling down a path that I think is MENTALLY unhealthy. I've JUST started to experiment with intermittent fasting and I think that it could work with my "all or nothing" mentality. A 16/8 (fast 16 hours, "feed" 8 hours) seems to sit well with me and it reduces the time I think about food...and because I am generally eating two main meals, it reduces the mental effort of making diet choices which frees up that mental energy for something else (more productive). What I need to work on is making those main meals as whole food, unprocessed and nutrient dense as possible (but without a hyper-obsessive focus on calorie reduction for the actual meal itself). And I also need to commit to some snacking boundaries (IF doesn't work if you binge on crappy food for 8 hours straight). So I think tracking my snacking more closely (with MFP) is the way to go until I have that behavior under better control.

    Oh and it's well documented that you can do IF while working out (though I actually don't work out much right now - another thing to work on), though probably not ideal for an endurance athlete.

    Feel free to add me as a friend - I could definitely use the accountability support!

    Deb

    Interesting idea re IF. I've never heard of that. The only problem with that for me is I eat dinner w my family so I guess I'd just fast until noon or so so my 8 hrs would take me through dinner. Let me know if this works for you!

    PS how do I add friends? ;)


  • tigerblue wrote: »
    Hello,

    MFP works! But it isn't always easy, so hang in there.

    As to the night time eating--this is not a problem. I lost over 40 lbs eating dinner at 8:30 every night because my families schedule demanded that. I budgeted my calorie allotment so that I had enough left to eat a moderate meal each night. The bonus was that I didn't get hungry between dinner and bedtime! The time from 5pm to dinner was sometimes rough, so I had lo cal snacks on hand, and planned them into my budget.

    You can do this!

    Thanks for the encouragement! Knowing you lost weight using this tool is SO helpful. I love the idea of budgeting snacks/small desserts for after dinner so I don't go waaaay over my cal goal. Have a great day today!

  • Posts: 130 Member
    You say you eat most of your calories at night. Have you tried to mix it up and eat a larger breakfast instead? That will give you all day to burn the calories. Also, you may have to experiment with healthy foods and find out if you can replace the junk with something healthy that also helps with the cravings. I believe almonds are good for chocolate cravings. And there are other tricks like that out there. As for the nightly sugar, you may just have to slowly cut back or eat fruit instead.
  • ntinkham88 wrote: »
    You say you eat most of your calories at night. Have you tried to mix it up and eat a larger breakfast instead? That will give you all day to burn the calories. Also, you may have to experiment with healthy foods and find out if you can replace the junk with something healthy that also helps with the cravings. I believe almonds are good for chocolate cravings. And there are other tricks like that out there. As for the nightly sugar, you may just have to slowly cut back or eat fruit instead.

    Thanks for the message! I'm scared to eat too big of a breakfast because I might blow up my calorie goal later in the day...And I've done that plenty so it's a realistic fear. I don't do well when I only have a few hundred cals left and still many hours in the day. Like right now, for example, I'm legitimately hungry and only have 450 cals left. It's only 4:30pm ;( The key for me will be to not go over my cal goal but feel satisfied so I don't say f-it and shovel a bunch on chips in my mouth later tonight....arg!!
  • Posts: 2 Member
    I could have written your post! I have issues with night time snacking as well. I've been trying to do well this year and have been very consistent with my working out but if I teeter a little on the wagon, I tend to fall right off ;)

    If I want to eat something at night, I *try* to drink coffee or something like that because if I only have the one cup I can usually stick to it. Plus the liquid tends to fill me up and sometimes I can't even finish it. Give me a bag a chips and there's no telling how bad it will be. My family doesn't eat super great either so I have a hard time with will power...especially if the food is in the house..

    Good luck!
  • Posts: 104 Member
    This comment stream is the embodiment of why the MFP community is so great. I'm glad you're here.

    I firmly believe in the 20 minute rule. Or even 10. Wait that long to see if you still feel hungry after eating. It not only works, but if you are eating for a reason other than hunger, you will be far more likely to forget that you wanted to eat.

    I may look tiny and fit in my profile pic, but I wasn't and am not always like that.

    Making the change to eating only because you're hungry is hard. But there are tricks. And it may take up to 6 weeks of changing your program to see a difference. Don't give up. remember this. And exercise more, not just because you burn calories, but because it lowers stress and is the best anti-depressant ever. And you won't stress eat if you aren't stressed. You'll feel better about yourself and do better.

    If all doctors prescribed proper diet and exercise as much as they prescribed pills, most diseases could be cut in half at the very least.
This discussion has been closed.

Welcome!

It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.