This is terrifying
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SarenaWM
Posts: 51 Member
Ok, I am going to do this.
After "recovering" from an eating disorder two years ago where I heavily restricted my calorie intake, I still don't eat as much as I should regularly. For the past year I have struggled with normal eating. I eat very low calorie during the week (no more than 1000 calories) and only super "clean" food...and then on Fridays I go crazy. It's my "cheat meal" day.. but it has become my "cheat day". Literally snacking all day long and just eating very poorly. Even after I get full, I just keep eating because, subconsciously, I guess I know that I will go back to restricting and need to eat all of these "forbidden" foods that I can't fit into my usual calorie allowance while I have the chance.
I would love to be able to be normal. I need to find a balance.
After "recovering" from an eating disorder two years ago where I heavily restricted my calorie intake, I still don't eat as much as I should regularly. For the past year I have struggled with normal eating. I eat very low calorie during the week (no more than 1000 calories) and only super "clean" food...and then on Fridays I go crazy. It's my "cheat meal" day.. but it has become my "cheat day". Literally snacking all day long and just eating very poorly. Even after I get full, I just keep eating because, subconsciously, I guess I know that I will go back to restricting and need to eat all of these "forbidden" foods that I can't fit into my usual calorie allowance while I have the chance.
I would love to be able to be normal. I need to find a balance.
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Replies
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Good for you! That balance is difficult for most everyone. I'm still working on that as well. Feel free to add me as a friend for up port!0
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Stupid phone. That's was supposed to say support0
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I have to ask if you are in therapy because honestly, you are not recovered at all. You are still showing signs of an ED with restricting on a VLC diet and binging. The under eating is causing your body to physiologically NEED that binge and if you ate at a realistic level, you probably wouldn't need the binge day. It sounds to me like you are still mentally in the ED. While we're quite happy to support in any way we can, it sounds like you may need more professional support as well.0
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Sarena, the battle starts with your mind. You have to first recondition your mind to want better and then put action behind it. It's easy to talk about it but very scary to actually put that action in motion. I'm glad you sought help with your eating disorder, so the same will power you exemplified to start the unhealthy lifestyle from the disorder put that same will power in motion to be more healthy and eat balanced meals and stop the binge eating. You can't put a lot of pressure on yourself but take things one day at a time. I have found journaling to be therapeutic for me. I haven't experienced an eating disorder but I'm had other life experiences good and bad and writing down my thoughts and my triumphs when I made it thru those things really helped me.
Best wishes to you!
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I meant to stop the unhealthy eating from the disorder. These iPhones have a mind of their own. LOL!!!!0
