He shows no support

leticiaturney
leticiaturney Posts: 1 Member
edited November 14 in Social Groups
I feel so unsupported. My husband does not support my choice to get healthy and in shape. He will buy junk and eat in front of me, will refuse to pick me up a drink unless it's pop, and gets annoyed when I take my evening walks. Now he's refusing to watch our kids while I go to an aerobics class. Our youngest son can't be left with a sitter due to serious health issues, so I can't go. I'm feeling pretty low, and it's all feeling pretty pointless right now. I just want to drown it in food. I'm going to try to do a work out video instead, but I need some boosting up.

Replies

  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    Just remember, it is mostly about a calorie deficit. You can still succeed without as much exercise. I think the workout videos are an excellent idea!

    Maybe you two need to go to counseling...it is so horrible when your "life partner" is not much of a partner at all.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    Can you take baby out for a stroll in the evening? I know you mentioned health issues so not sure if the walk would work but..it's a thought. It would surely help clear your head and keep you clear headed while getting some exercise and fresh air in.
  • Jo124mi
    Jo124mi Posts: 4 Member
    It makes me wonder why he is not supportive. Does he think you will leave him, if you look a certain way, Ironically, you might have to leave him if he is not supportive. You have to have a partner that supports you life in order to be happy. It is one thing if he is not ready to get on the band wagon, but he can still support you. Even without his support, don't let that stop you from achieving your goals. You have the right to be happy.
  • jdbeach_2000
    jdbeach_2000 Posts: 8 Member
    Sorry he's not supportive about watching the kids for you. It's hard when you're the only one on a diet. My husband is supportive about me losing weight but also he doesn't want to eat healthy because he don't need to lose weight. So I make 2 meals each night. One for my husband and son then another for me. It was hard at 1st but now I'm used to it.
    If you can take your son with you on your walks I would do that. If not I would continue with doing a video workout.
    I also agree counseling night help. I had a ex-boyfriend that would cause drama every time I tried to lose weight just so I would get depressed and gain it back. It ended up he had control issues.
  • PrimroseFlower
    PrimroseFlower Posts: 110 Member
    I totally get that! I think maybe instead of him not being "supportive", he may just not "understand." My husband eats whatever he wants and even eats little debbie snacks in the bed at night. He is not fat at all. I have to live a totally different lifestyle than he does. I buy my own separate food (and eat this mostly) and eat that. I eat our family meals but I portion them out. I have my frozen grilled chicken and fish, my greek yogurts, and my drawer of oranges and apples. He has his shelf for beer, lunch meat, and little debbies. I have to tell myself not to eat his crap (and sometimes I do). I wake up at 5 am when the entire house is asleep and jog on my treadmill. Although I DO NOT think the cards I've been dealt are fair (I have thyroid issues and cannot even look at cake without gaining), it's what I have to deal with. So my advice to you - Get MAD when he buys you stuff that's unhealthy. Give it to one of your kids to eat, or just leave it on the counter. Eventually he will stop. You DESERVE to have a healthy lifestyle so buy your own healthy food apart from theirs. They might even join you eventually :wink: And as far as working out, I think everyone has a hard time finding time for that. Just mainly focus on food (that's 80% of it) and find times to work out just three times a week. You can walk on your lunch break or do 3 segments of 10 minutes during the day. Or even get a fitbit and make conscious efforts to move more...I hope I helped...
  • Veggie_mama
    Veggie_mama Posts: 77 Member
    Honey, are we married to the same schmuck? I am where you are now. I'm here to tell you, as non-productive as it feels sometimes, use your anger...in constructive ways. I seem to run (when he will watch our son) faster when I'm angry. I do more and feel that, because he has no problems with weight (and never has) and I do the cooking 100% of the time and make myself something different from his and that I do believe that there is some insecurity in that if I get "hot", that I'll leave. I hope things improve for you. It sucks that he's not more supportive. You have to make yourself happy. You take care of yourself and your children. If he can't keep up and be supportive, I'm VERY sure there is someone out there, even here in the MFP world who will. :) Namaste, sister.
  • NikkiG0471
    NikkiG0471 Posts: 3 Member
    Try to joining "No Excuse Moms" on Facebook
    My unsupportive significant other can be such a drag...He seems to criticize me than he compliments me
  • NikkiG0471
    NikkiG0471 Posts: 3 Member
    Try to joining "No Excuse Moms" on Facebook
    My unsupportive significant other can be such a drag...He seems to criticize me more than he compliments me

  • angieangie69
    angieangie69 Posts: 5 Member
    Wow did I find the right group!! Mine should be King of the 'Bad husband support wagon'.
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