I just wanted to put it out there how I've found the last few weeks since Eating More to Lose Weight!

My weight has always yo-yo'd, ranging from about 9 stone up to about 13 at my heaviest. Last year I lost a lot of weight without really trying but I was in a terrible relationship, I was stressed, unhappy and had no appetite. I didn't exercise at all and felt sick everytime I started a meal. I lived off coffee/cigs and the smallest of meals. I got down to what I thought was my ideal weight - yes it felt great fitting into small clothes, but I still had a tonne of cellulite, a flabby belly and didn't feel great at all.

I ditched the relationship, stopped smoking and gained about 18-20lbs putting me at 148. Although that isn't my heaviest weight by any stretch of the imagination, I felt terrible, fat and very unattractive. But I was happy to have stopped smoking and started running again.

I signed back up to MFP in January, joined a gym and hired a Personal Trainer. I knew a starvation diet wasn't the answer, been there, done that, got the bloody wardrobe never mind the T-shirt! Plucked a figure out of thin air and decided to stick to about 1700 cals....seemed reasonable to me, not starving but not going over board. I struggled. Some days I didn't get to 1700 at all, some days I went over, some days I went WAY over so didn't log! My weight went down a few pounds, then back up, then back down. I was frustrated and really starting to hate myself.

I started reading stories on the EM2LW section of the forum. I had attempted this a few years back but didn't trust the system and was petrified of gaining so didn't really follow it through properly. This time - I was determined. I can't continue the rest of my life eat low cal, bingeing, gaining, losing, gaining, losing, hating myself more and more because I feel like a failure.

I am now eating a minimum of 2000 cals, most days slightly over. My TDEE-10% is 2168. For the first 2 weeks I was scared to death. The scales went up by 4 pounds which at the time felt like a tonne. I knew to expect a gain, but when it actually happened, I was mortified. What if this doesn't work?? What if everyone on the forum is lying!!??? What if I just keep gaining and gaining and end up obese!!! BUT, with the help of my EM2LW friends, I stuck with it and sssooooo glad I did. I'm only a few weeks in and I feel so healthy, and so much stronger. The scales have actually started to come down again slowly and I'm actually excited. I can eat REAL food, I can have a drink on a weekend. I can have a piece of cake when it's someone's birthday (even when it's not someone's birthday!!).

I am starting Stronglifts 5x5 this week and am VERY excited. I am getting more concerned about my strength and fitness level rather than a number on the scales (believe me that is a major breakthrough - and in only a few weeks) I am starting to like me again. I don't want to be miserable and scared of going out for a meal in case I gain an ounce....I want to live life and that's just what I intend to do.

Sorry for waffling - just wanted to let people know how I've found it so far - I know it helps me to read other people's journeys. I also want to thank my EM2LW friends - you will never know just how much help you all are