Hi Emily
I can identify with your struggle. But I am also proud that you were able to recognize your food obsession and brave enough to reach out for help. It took me years to recognize that I could not do it alone. I have set so many dates to lose this much weight; and as quickly as I set those goals, I would start sabotaging my goals. By the time I came to OA, I was completely exhausted. Read Step One of the program; not only read it, journal about it
then read it again-and meditate and journal and read it again until there is acceptance of this concept. That how it was with me, I had to accept that maybe this was a concept I should consider. Then I had to consider accepting this concept as my truth.

Take this from a woman who has had 45 years of dieting and losing and gaining it back for a cycle I lived in for years. That why I am proud that you recognized the cycle early in life. Please take this program seriously and break free from your obsession with food. It will be the hardest work you have ever done, but also the most rewarding work you have ever done. I wish you total abstinence, total acceptance, and total transformation.
Annice
ps I am still in the struggle. I am making progress 1 step forward and sometimes1 step backward. I am not perfect, but I am making progress.

I am looking for friends also. I am Al. I am ashamed to admit this, but I have heard the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I am overweight. I am a binge-eater, and I need help to quit binge eating forever. The day before I began my fitness pal I consumed approximately 8,830 calories in one day, and it wasn't even a special occasion. I calculated it. Though, I am sure there were many days in which I consumed more than this. In fact, I don't know if that day would even make my top 100 binge-eating days, but I never calculated how many calories I consumed those other days. One day I ate two medium full-size delivery pizzas loaded with toppings. Another day, my mother gave me a huge extremely sweet, rich, and chocolatey ice cream cake for my birthday, and I ate the entire cake within two days except for two small slices. In December, I went to the movie theater, and just while watching one film I consumed 3 jumbo popcorn containers with extra butter by myself. I think I could talk about my binge-eating failures for hours. However, when I am not binge-eating I eat mostly low-calorie healthy food. When I am not binge-eating I am a strong proponent for saving the environment and eating healthy, and when I am binge eating I feel like a hypocrite. Though, I love good tasting food so much that I feel like I could eat it forever. I really appreciate food that makes my taste senses explode with joy. I also binge-eat during almost all celebrations or when I am depressed. Additionally, when I am not binge-eating I think very few people eat healthier than me. I have been doing okay recently, but I do not know when I will not be able to resist the urge to binge eat again. To complicate things I am a Christian, and in Christianity over eating is considered the sin of gluttony. I am trying to get in shape because 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV reads: "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." Thus, I really want to get in as good of shape as possible spiritually and physically. Though, I may need some support.