Easter and Shark Week converged on me this year, resulting in a 5lb increase on the scale this morning. Yep. 5 pounds up. Puts me higher than where I was a few weeks ago, when I was stuck at 256.2 for ages. That drop from 256 to 252 was as mysterious as it was sudden, and in a day or two I made it disappear.

But, I know it's water weight. I know it's because I went overboard at Easter (chocolate peanut butter candies and Reese's eggs are my kryptonite!) and ate more carbs (and sugar!) in a day than I've eaten in a month for the past year or so, and I know it's pretty much all water weight. It will take at least a week to get rid of, most likely. I'm okay, though, because that's one of the consequences of having done that. I knew that going in, and I did it anyway.

Yesterday was better, though still not great. It didn't help that the above convergences contributed to a spat with my husband, which sent me into meltdown mode and I felt like crap all evening. I still did better than Sunday, but not quite as good as I could have (medium flavored latte in the morning and a chocolate concoction in the evening that had more sugar in it than I'd usually do, plus rice in my bowl from Chipotle). Today's a new day, though, and I'm back to my routine, because it's what makes me feel the best.

I'm not a failure for pigging out on candy at Easter, and neither are you for not having lost weight. If anyone's failed, it's society as a whole, for this victim-blaming culture against people who are overweight. Everyone has this idea that if you're having trouble losing weight, then it's a failing on you -- you're lying and eating more than you claim, or you're lying and exercising less than you claim, or you just fail at self-control, or you...you...you. That blaming is wrong, especially in the case of PCOS. You are a survivor of a disorder that affects every aspect of your life, and is the underlying cause of your current inability to lose weight, whether people want to admit to it or not. Your difficulty losing weight is not your fault, you just haven't found what you need to do in order to be successful yet. You can't fix the root problems that you haven't been able to identify yet.

What you're doing is clearly not working. So, take an objective look at what you're doing and your current state of health (not just weight), and see if there's something you can change that might help. If you're currently eating a lot of packaged foods, I'd say start there. Spend the rest of this month making a concerted effort to eat whole foods. Nothing out of a box or couldn't make with the raw materials. If you have to unwrap it, it should be the sanitation type packaging on meats and spices. If you're already doing that, then trade starches and simple sugars for fats. All vegetables should have grown above ground, and all fruits should have at least half as much fiber as sugar (ideally more; tip - stick to berries and stone fruit). Add butter, bacon grease, or olive oil to those steamed or grilled vegetables. Don't trim fat from your steaks, and eat the egg yolks. Don't do it for the weight aspect. Do it to fuel your body properly and help it to correct the underlying issues. The above changes will provide you with nutrients to help your body heal (especially if you can get at least pastured butter and eggs, which have the largest nutrition difference between them and their conventional counterparts). You have your weight right now. Now have someone hide the scale until May. You don't get it back for at least three weeks, because it doesn't matter right now. What matters is your physical and mental health, and right now, both need some TLC.

Also, Keep in mind your weight fluctuates every day. I've only really been at this for a month. I weighed myself everyday for the first two weeks, just to see how my body fluctuates from day to day.

If you are weighing weekly, daily, or monthly, it is also important to weight under the same circumstances. That means, if you weight in the morning before you have ate for the day, do that every time. Or if you weight at night after a work out, do that every time.

I had a bad week last week too... There was Easter, then 3 Birthday parties, AND I ate out at my favorite Mexican restaurant (I have not control when it comes to that place). So I didn't weigh in this week.. because I know I would hate myself, and give up.

Scales can be your friend, if you understand that weight is not really the issue. Ask yourself, Do I feel better? Do I feel like I am doing the best I can do from day to day? Have a had more energy than usual?

Sometime we need a low, to build us back up. You WILL be fine. You WILL fine your grove. You had your grieving period, now you can get back at it again.