So like a lot of us, I'm starting over on losing weight. I've started and stopped so many times in my lifetime. But I've made a new commitment to my health and I feel like this time my success is about so much more than how I look or what my dress size is.

Luckily, I have a supportive husband who is also committed to getting his weight and health under control too. But this is the first time I've done this with a partner. I'm already feeling the positive difference compared to when I've always gone at it alone in the past.

I've always been a loner by nature, so I always thought that I didn't need support or friends to talk about it with. But just having my husband's support has shown me that I was probably judging that wrong. So this time I've decided to participate in the groups and seek out friends who are also looking to achieve similar goals.

So here's my rock bottom moment, the moment that made me come back this week and start logging food again and then seek out the help of hopefully some new friends. I went for a hike about a month ago. It was the most miserable I have ever felt. Something I used to enjoy doing so much was now complete torture. Well, because of the ups and downs on the hills and my increased weight, what I didn't realize was I was doing some real damage to my knees. It has taken my nearly a month to recover from that hike where every step wasn't torture on my knees. I'm finally feeling like I can venture out for longer walks without being in pain. But I'm still taking it slow.

While I was recovering I just felt so miserable I couldn't face the scale or even tackling my food. I just ate the normal junk and didn't give it any thought. Well, my husband and I picked this week to start really concentrating on the food and I started logging everything with an eye towards losing two pounds a week. We're actually doing pretty good. Been under the calorie goal for 4 days straight, so I'm feeling great about that.

Unfortunately, (and this is another rock bottom moment) I decided to get on the scale yesterday. I know I needed to know where I was starting but it was just such a shock that I think maybe it wasn't the best idea. Plus there's probably a few PMS hormones adding to my distress too. But I was not prepared for the number. 404. (file not found?) Seriously, 404 pounds. How had I let this happen? I was just devastated.

It was a bad few hours after that emotionally. But I didn't give in. I didn't say, let's go out to eat or I need some chocolate. I stayed on track. Logged my food. And just kept reminding myself that I had to know where I was starting at. I've never been this big in my life and I'm determined to make the positive changes, one by one, and as slow as necessary so I can enjoy hiking again and all the other things I used to like to do.

I'm 43 years old. At this point, if I don't fix these things, I'm looking at an early grave. So it's time to care about myself and my body enough to actually take care of myself.

So I know I can do it. But I think I'll need the support of friends to help me out. If you're looking for a new friend, hit me up!

Thanks for reading and I wish everyone a great night!