Am a bit absent

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maoribadger
maoribadger Posts: 1,837 Member
But still thinking of you and reading.

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  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,104 Member
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    Glad you're still here, even if you have to go incognito for a bit. We'll be here when normal service resumes.

    Miss you, Lise.

    Hugs,
    Carly
  • maoribadger
    maoribadger Posts: 1,837 Member
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    Thank-you. It's been building up for a couple of weeks now. Am struggling to do anything I just want to sleep all the time. I don't want to see anybody or talk to anybody have been withdrawing a lot not doing anything round the house just sleeping or working when kids at school. Don't even want to go to the gym. Just no energy and no motivation for anything. Also noticing.some messed up thoughts in my head which I'm not liking. And really anxious all the time worrying something bad is going to happen to the kids makes me quite panicky. Strugging.with diet I've not logged in a week or more now but last cpl days I just feel sick if I eat so not really.bothering.

    Finally told my gym buddy about it as she's noticed she is having to drag me to the gym and she's been pretty good. Have a docs appt today as think will end up back on some tablets. Stopped taking one of them about six weeks ago as was feeling ok so have just been on one for last six weeks.

    So please forgive me if.I'm not answering or liking and commenting for those of you on my friends list. I'm trying to keep trucking on and sort.my head out atm. Will be back to normal.soon
  • wennim
    wennim Posts: 276 Member
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    I was starting to wonder after I hadn't seen you for a few days. I am glad that you are noticing the issues and taking the steps to remedy them. Noticing the issues and then actually asking for help has always been the hardest part. I hope you start to feel better soon. Take care of yourself and your family and we will still be here when you are ready.
  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,104 Member
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    Girl, we aren't going to call you out on missing a few posts. Seriously? Take care of you. Get your game back.

    IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU WEAK TO REQUIRE MEDICINE TO TREAT LEGITIMATE IMBALANCES IN YOUR BODY'S CHEMICALS.

    I struggle with that myself. I have always told people that it reflects in no way on their character or willpower or mental stability to admit you need help and to get it.

    I always liken it to other things. If your blood pressure was rampantly out of control and you couldn't treat it naturally, would you refuse to take medication because it made you seem weaker? If you somehow developed something like diabetes, would it mean that taking insulin would be because you have no willpower? If you developed cancer, and surgery and chemo were required for your survival - would you refuse just because you "shouldn't need help?"

    These are the kind of harsh reminders I had to give myself. I can make anything more reasonable for others, but I struggle accepting the same advice myself. I have the arguments that I'm a strong woman - I should be able to do this without needing help, but that's all BS insecurity talking (for me, I won't speak for others). I finally had to accept some things and move on...

    And I still struggle with some things. Daily. If not hourly. I find it hard to focus on more than one important issue at a time. Right now, so much of my focus is on regaining my health. And my work struggles because I've no energy left for it, being a paperwork job that doesn't use but maybe 1/4 of my abilities and no sense of urgency...

    I am sending you lots of hugs, healing thoughts and energies, and a bit of sunshine!
    Carly
  • maoribadger
    maoribadger Posts: 1,837 Member
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    Thank-you. Don't really know how.to.answer most of that right now but its appreciated

    Saw.Dr.today been put back on my.second antidepressant.again and told not to.stop taking them on my.own again. Apparently will be a.minimum of nine months to a year now before I can consider it

    Also.got.to see my counsellor Friday as I was put on a group course by her in Feb and walked out of.it.as.I.couldn't deal with the room full of strangers and bottled out of going back to tell her. Dr wants her to refer.me for some one on one psychotherapy
  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,104 Member
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    Good luck... (hugs)
  • NorahCait
    NorahCait Posts: 325 Member
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    Glad to hear that you're pushing through the muck to take care of yourself. That is so hard and you deserve to be proud of that.
  • maoribadger
    maoribadger Posts: 1,837 Member
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    Thanks. Hoping things ease up soon as husband (who is a total man child and does not cope in the slightest with me not being on 100% top form and running his entire world) is barely speaking to me. Am also packing up a house and trying to work out how on earth I am going to move my entire house into a new one AND wallpaper and paint an entire old house ready to hand back on my own because his boss is a douche bag and wont give him any time off to do it. So I am starting the packing now. 3 boxes done so far. Anything we dont need between now and June is going in a box. So done all dvds and ornaments gone in a box and going to do books over the weekend.
  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,104 Member
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    Thanks. Hoping things ease up soon as husband (who is a total man child and does not cope in the slightest with me not being on 100% top form and running his entire world) is barely speaking to me. Am also packing up a house and trying to work out how on earth I am going to move my entire house into a new one AND wallpaper and paint an entire old house ready to hand back on my own because his boss is a douche bag and wont give him any time off to do it. So I am starting the packing now. 3 boxes done so far. Anything we dont need between now and June is going in a box. So done all dvds and ornaments gone in a box and going to do books over the weekend.

    Just remember to breathe in between this all. I don't know many men who are not man-children. They claim to be so independent and strong, and well, I won't be insulting, but there is a lot of truth to the statement, "Behind every good man is the great woman who got him there."

    I just try to remember that we are stronger as a team, because I bolster him, and he forces me to put on my big girl panties and face things on his behalf that would terrify me to face for myself... So while somewhat out of balance, we do make each other stronger.

    And my guy has such strong moral convictions that it truly has inspired me to be and become a better person in the paths I was already on...

    (Men, promise I'm not trying to diss. We women can get emotional and cry at TV/telly commercials, PMS and become murderous in a heartbeat, and have all manner of insecurities you have to deal with, too.... Just the imbalance seems difficult for us sometimes, too...)

    Lise, you'll get your footing back. Maybe having things you HAVE to do will help you level back out quicker! I'll send up a good word for you for sure. :)

    HUGS, Carly