Emotional resistance to weight loss

ahealthiercara · May 2015

I'm wondering if anyone else experiences this - I'll start with some background. I've been overweight since I was a child - maybe 8 years old. I don't know what it is like to have a 'normal' size body. I've been as heavy as 265 and I'm about 197 now. I've done a lot of fluctuating between about 192 and 225 but I've never gotten to an 'ideal' weight.

So right now, with the scale moving down to the low end of my weight fluctuations, I'm starting to freak out wondering what it will be like to be smaller than I've ever been as an adult. This morning when I got on the scale and saw 196.8 after having been hovering at 200 for the last couple of weeks, I got really excited then proceeded to binge at work today. Its like my fat self doesn't want to give itself up.

Has anyone gone through this and successfully pushed past that barrier? Tips? Strategies? Advice?

lilsandyu · May 2015

Yes!! I Do that to myself ALL The time!!! I tell myself I self sabotage and I'm not sure why? I'm all into the weight loss and then just as I see progress I start messing up

schelly81 · May 2015

yes I went through something similar. I was in the 180's for most of my 20's and would hit the 170's again and again but would gain back every time. In my early 30's I hit 245 while pregnant and was 230 when my oldest was 6 months old. When I started losing weight I did great, until I hit the 180's. I thought I couldn't do it, I sabotaged myself. I bounced around and my weight loss slowed way down. Luckily I managed to get passed that and I'm currently 165, only 15 pounds from my goal.
I think what helped me through was that I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I started out wanting to prove wrong the people who told me I couldn't. I kept doubting myself. But that wasn't getting me anywhere. I had to do it for me.
I don't have and tips all I can say is that basically I just kept going. Bad day, week, I got right back at it and started counting calories again. Worked out more and more. I work out 5 days a week right now and I do go over my calories sometimes, but I make sure I am still in a deficit. At least I know then that I am going in the right direction.

shan11180 · May 2015

I'm with you on this. I've been all over the place with my weight - but never really been at an "ideal" weight. I'm definitely an emotional eater and I absolutely sabotage myself. I'm officially larger than I've EVER been and am REALLY trying to lose it. I truly don't know what or when that sabotage trigger will go off, or why, but I'm hoping I can beat it.

Once upon a time I went through counseling for this exact issue and my councilor was convinced that I eat my feelings rather than deal with or talk about any issues that may come up or any past problems that I don't want to deal with. Probably true... How to fix it? No clue. LOL - I'm no help. Just wanted you to know your not alone, I guess.

kireleason · May 2015

You totally just wrote my story. I get to about 185 and freak out and put on 20 lbs and have to start all over. Which is where I am now, and why I am here. I don't even really think about it. I feels like it's out of my control (which I know is only a story I tell myself) and then my pants don't fit anymore and I get pissed. Here I am.

malika1976 · May 2015

I think it's totally natural to be finding adjusting to a lower weight stressful. ANY change is stressful, and particularly when it involves part of our identity.

I'm at the other end of the spectrum, I have never gotten used to being obese (just made it into the 'overweight' range last week). I think that I would have lost weight earlier if I had realised how large I was. However, I still think that I'm going to find it hard to adjust to being a normal weight. I come close to having a panic attack when I go into normal size clothing shops, but the last time I went into one of the larger size shops, the shop assistant asked me whether I realised that it was a shop for larger sizes. And then when I tried on their trousers, all of them were too big. The assistant gave me a look like 'I told you so'. I finally braved a normal clothes shop this weekend (rather than a department store which has both big and normal sizes). I was surprised that the assistant engaged with me, because I was worried that she would think I was too large to be in the shop. But their clothes weren't too big. (I still have a long way to go before I'm healthy.)

The other related issue is the difficulty I have throwing out clothes that are larger sizes. I'm worried that I'll need to buy new ones if I put on weight, but holding on to them is kind of saying the change isn't permanent. But I'll have to do something soon - my wardrobe is full to overflowing and I don't have a lot of storage space.

ahealthiercara · May 2015

shan11180 wrote: »

Once upon a time I went through counseling for this exact issue and my councilor was convinced that I eat my feelings rather than deal with or talk about any issues that may come up or any past problems that I don't want to deal with.

I do this - I eat instead of saying what it is I'm feeling and I also went to counseling. It has improved somewhat but I still fall back into it. EFT helped a LOT.

malika1976 wrote: »

The other related issue is the difficulty I have throwing out clothes that are larger sizes. I'm worried that I'll need to buy new ones if I put on weight, but holding on to them is kind of saying the change isn't permanent.

I do this too - I've even saved my larger sized underwear

rebekahzinn1 · May 2015

I have experienced this many times. I have been obese since I was a child, and after losing 120 pounds I am now lighter than I have been since age 18. That's 20 years. The biggest shocks have come when I crashed below weights that I thought I would never see. Going under 200 pounds has been huge, and I lingered just above 200 for many many months due to the psychological difficulty of breaking that boundary. Now, interestingly, I linger just between not being obese (194 pounds) and 200 pounds. I think the "just overweight" stage is similar. But on the other hand, I have maintained under 200 for a while and I am dead-set to not go over that.

I have gone through a lot of counseling regarding the changing perception of myself. It is really weird to change my identity and place in society through losing weight and getting fit. I often have trouble recognizing myself in the mirror, or I don't see myself accurately, or I get mad that people treat me nicer than they did when I was heavier. It is a huge transition, and I believe it is so beneficial to take it slowly. That helps adjust both physically and psychologically.

Lookenlass · May 2015

Interesting thread, love it. I have body dysmorphia, am bigger than I think I am and I don't want to lose weight, but I do want to lose weight. I've lost and gained a lot of weight, too much to even remember. and it's true that the public does treat me nicer now that I am smaller. Psychologically I'm still working everyday for balance. I am trying really hard to live in the now and not future or past because it messes with my food plans when I take up residency there.

makeitnasty184 · May 2015

Beyond being mentally challenging your body is used to you being at a heavier weight and although you are trying to lose weight, your body is trying to fight it because it doesn't know you are losing weight and getting healthier. It just senses that things are changing and it's trying to cling onto homeostasis.

turquoisefish · May 2015

I self sabotage too, the only thing I finally found that helped was to stop weighing. I had my husband put my scale in the garage where I can't get to it without a whole lot of work.

klariade · May 2015

Girl you are telling my story! I've been as high as 374 and low as 212. When I got down to 212 I swear my body started to resist any more weight loss. The closer I got to being under 200 (my "for now" goal) the more I freaked out. I'm back up over 300 again...terrified of being thin again but want it so badly at the same time. It's crazy what our minds do!

ahealthiercara · May 2015

Ugh. It's been about 3 weeks since I wrote that post and I haven't improved. I've been excusing my overeating for weeks, I'm struggling to just maintain this weight. I really need to ditch the excuses and get back on track. It's time to get more strict about not eating back all my exercise calories. mfp is overestimating my burn and it is not helping me in the long run. I've worked too hard to come this far only to see weight creeping back on!

lizb214 · May 2015

So glad I found this thread! A couple months ago I had lost about 5 pounds and gotten below 170 for the first time in years!! I've since put on ten. I think it's a combination of getting cocky in my success and also being scared to be thinner because I know how much work it takes to stay there.

Roaringgael · May 2015

Change, permanent change is extremely difficult. I've spent a life time yo yo ing in body size.
What i see looking back was. When younger I didn't need to lose weight at all, I just wanted to look thinner.
Then I did gain and got heavy. Had a child, all through my late 30s and 40s felt bad about being heavy - lost and gained but always went up. Now I have lost through using MFP, exercise and making a decision to stop over eating as a way of coping with life. This isn't easy. I have days where I eat a bit too much, feel over full but I really just have to start again. Over time this has improved, I hope I can keep it up.

I am very aware of MINDLESS eating. This is a desire to just eat, I may be physically hungry but my thinking is saying more before I've even eaten. If I pause I can feel a type of panic, and nothing will satisfy me, so I know it is pointless to go over what I can actually have. This is why recording my food has worked for me. I check I see what I can have and roughly for me its okay to have a snack under 200 cals, a meal for up to 500 cals - although I try to keep brekkie around 300 - this is all just rough guesses. Anyway most of the time I eat unprocessed healthy food but I allow myself portion sized "fun food".

EMOTIONAL EATING

Emotional resistance to weight loss

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