Who feels like being fat makes it harder to find a date
Storytella100
Posts: 141 Member
sometimes I feel like I'm always going to be a single dad because I'm fat and I hate it because what I want I can't get and I know it's because I'm over weight. Am I wrong or right. Or maybe I just haven't met the right girl yet idk lol I just don't feel confident as I used to be because I'm fat and I think that's what makes me shy and happy to just stay home with my son and forget about Women. I honestly feel as long as I stay fat I'm always going to be single.
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I can only offer what my experience has taught me but I hope it helps.
I've always been overweight and I've never really been self confident, I also have a lot more problems than just my weight and I was always pretty sure I would always be alone because no one would want me. I knew my parents and whole extended family loved me but in my mind they had to because they were family.
I met my husband when I was 16 but it took him 2 years to convince me I was worth something to a non family member. We got married when we were 19 as my parents were planning on moving and it would have broken my mothers heart if we had just moved in together. We had our first child 2 years later. We are still together and still happy.
So my experience had taught me that the right person will see through all your bad bits to find the person inside. That same person will be there to support you when things get tough, as you in return support them. There will be fights and sulks along the way but it doesn't matter, because you still know that the person you met and fell in love with is there and the bump in the road will be smoothed over.
Ok I didn't have a child and we were young, but my dad met my mum when she weighed over 19 stone and had 4 children in tow. He formally adopted them once they were married and I never even knew they weren't his biological children until I was a teenager, he never treated them any different to me and my brother. They were happy together for over 25 years and only my mum dying separated them. He's tried having relationships since then but confesses that no one compares to mum.
I don't belive in the theory that there is only one soul mate for every person, I've personally met 2 other people I could probably have had just as successful a marriage with, but a relationship requires work on both sides and both my hubby and I work at it.
So have heart, of course you want to lose the weight, that's a health benefit for you and your son. But your weight isn't the sum of you.
Go out and get to know people, join a single parents club and connect with people who are in a similar position to you. Join a hobby group if you can find a baby sitter, or find one where you can take your son. Once you start meeting people they will see you for who you are, and you might just find a person in that group who thinks you and you son are the best thing in the world. Even if you don't you'll find friends, gain confidence and be losing weight, so when you do meet the person you'll have the confidence to ask them out.
You CAN do it, and we are here to prop you up a little when you need it, as you'll be propping us up if we slip up.0 -
flitterfoot wrote: »I can only offer what my experience has taught me but I hope it helps.
I've always been overweight and I've never really been self confident, I also have a lot more problems than just my weight and I was always pretty sure I would always be alone because no one would want me. I knew my parents and whole extended family loved me but in my mind they had to because they were family.
I met my husband when I was 16 but it took him 2 years to convince me I was worth something to a non family member. We got married when we were 19 as my parents were planning on moving and it would have broken my mothers heart if we had just moved in together. We had our first child 2 years later. We are still together and still happy.
So my experience had taught me that the right person will see through all your bad bits to find the person inside. That same person will be there to support you when things get tough, as you in return support them. There will be fights and sulks along the way but it doesn't matter, because you still know that the person you met and fell in love with is there and the bump in the road will be smoothed over.
Ok I didn't have a child and we were young, but my dad met my mum when she weighed over 19 stone and had 4 children in tow. He formally adopted them once they were married and I never even knew they weren't his biological children until I was a teenager, he never treated them any different to me and my brother. They were happy together for over 25 years and only my mum dying separated them. He's tried having relationships since then but confesses that no one compares to mum.
I don't belive in the theory that there is only one soul mate for every person, I've personally met 2 other people I could probably have had just as successful a marriage with, but a relationship requires work on both sides and both my hubby and I work at it.
So have heart, of course you want to lose the weight, that's a health benefit for you and your son. But your weight isn't the sum of you.
Go out and get to know people, join a single parents club and connect with people who are in a similar position to you. Join a hobby group if you can find a baby sitter, or find one where you can take your son. Once you start meeting people they will see you for who you are, and you might just find a person in that group who thinks you and you son are the best thing in the world. Even if you don't you'll find friends, gain confidence and be losing weight, so when you do meet the person you'll have the confidence to ask them out.
You CAN do it, and we are here to prop you up a little when you need it, as you'll be propping us up if we slip up.
Omg wow thank you for sharing that it really made me feel a lot better that's an amazing story and I feel a lil better about my self now0 -
I'm crushing on a guy who is overweight, obese. He has a very handsome face he dresses nice, he's a sweet guy and has manners. He is CONFIDENT he walks in the room like he's a boss. Depends on the girl I guess. I rather a chunky guy over a thin one to be honest and I'm not just saying that because I'm chunky myself lol!
It's all about how you present yourself. Imo when it comes to girls.
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So very true0
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I totally agree with all these great postings. I think that it's much more about personality than body. If we are happy and outgoing then we draw people to us. Then people can actually get to know us beyond the physical.
Of course we also have to be willing to open ourselves up to being vulnerable. From my own experience and personal discovery, I have used all my extra pounds as a protective shield to keep men away so I don't get hurt.0 -
I agree some what but in today's world there are some very shallow people who only go after looks and honestly deep down inside I feel like I lost my wife because I got fat.0
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Oh yeah, there are certainly a lot of fat haters out there, not that I know your ex-wife.
I admit that I hate being in public but truly - I can't control other people. What I do, is try and make eye contact with everyone and smile. I have found that simply because I look friendly, quite often, people will exchange a few words with me...nice words. You know, just the small talk that strangers do.
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Cool cool us I've never been married but I was with her for 6 years0
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Married in everything but name. It must have hard on both you and your son.
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PocketAces, I didn't mean to be insensitive. I have been divorced for so long that I forgot how hard it was in the beginning and how much it hurt. I truly apologize for being so glib about your partner leaving.0
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flitterfoot wrote: »Married in everything but name. It must have hard on both you and your son.
It was very hard but we ok he has me and lots of my family and his soccer friends
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Glad there's lots of family around for you both. Support can make all the difference when things are tough.0
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For reals0
