Gastric ByPass/VSG/LapBand

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Dating after WLS

SkinnyDevi
SkinnyDevi Posts: 92 Member
edited November 20 in Social Groups
Hey Friends,

I recently jumped back into the dating game after WLS and am not sure how/when to tell someone that I've had WLS. What do y'all think? Have/would you tell them immediately, later, or not at all? Did it make a difference if you were dating online verses meeting someone organically?
While I feel better about myself, I'm nervous about being judged.

Replies

  • Djrundle13
    Djrundle13 Posts: 54 Member
    I think that's a personal choice and how comfortable you are with people knowing. my close circle of family and friends I've told that I'm going for RNY, but I feel it's not others people's business. I guess if your comfortable with that person then why not. IF someone is going to judge you for having the surgery and doesn't agree with why you had it done, they it's probably not someone you'd want in your life. Maybe once you become more confident with yourself and why you had the surgery it'll be easier to talk about it.

    anyhow, good luck in the dating scene!!! I'm sure you'll find the right person for you.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,890 Member
    I am in the same boat. I do tell people about the surgery, usually as I am telling more about myself, and usually fairly early on. I try not to make a big deal about it, but I don't feel like it's something I want to hide. My workout regime, my diet, the fact that I don't drink, those are all big things in my life. I like people to know where I have been, where I am, and what my goals are. It's all part of who I am as a person, and who I am is a person is what I have to offer someone else. Also, like Djrundle said, if someone is going to judge me for it, I would rather weed them out early on. I didn't notice that it made a difference where I met the person I was dating. I did have a problem with one guy, he was really into me and we dated for a few weeks, until I was talking to him about possibly having skin removal surgery. I think that scared him off because he ended things after that. At first I was annoyed, then I realized I dodged a bullet. It can be a little hard to be judged on our appearance even after all the work we have done, but the right person will accept us.
  • cheekitty
    cheekitty Posts: 101 Member
    I met my boyfriend online over a year ago, and was pretty open with him about my situation and that I was going to have the surgery. He called me every day while I was in the hospital, and has been doing a lot of things 'with' me, even though we live in different countries.

    I met him in person for the first time last weekend, and we talked about my plans and goals and what I wanted to do, and it was overall a really positive experience.

    So yeah, depending on where you are in the process, I fully advocate disclosure. If you're close to your goal, then it might not be as big a deal, but if you're at the beginning, you're going to go through a lot of change (I'm only 3 months out), and you may be depriving yourself of a really fantastic source of support if you don't talk to your new partner.
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