I've been working hard to stay on track. Last night I had my first binge in over a week. I just went off an SSRI med and I'm feeling incredibly emotional and self aware. I am worried that my teacher is mad at me because I am behind in class, I sent my adviser an email telling her about how I am having trouble focusing in class and I'm worried that email was crossing the line. I also just visited my parents and am worried that I didn't socialize properly and that they are irritated with me for being weird maybe. I went to a Chinese buffet that day too, but I ate only steamed things and vegetables. I was so upset over all this stuff I was feeling I just lost control eating kimchi and seaweed salad, maybe a cup each. Then I made a decision to eat 20 great value steak fries with approx. 5 tbs. ketchup. At this point I was force feeding, already uncomfortably full. All of this was a little over 500 calories. I counted that as my breakfast. For punishment today I am only having a Boost shake for lunch. And I am walking a lot outside.

My solution is, in the future I need to listen to my CBT tapes on anxiety. I want to figure out how to put the files on my phone too so I can walk and listen to it. Two birds one stone. Actually 3 because I won't be eating.