Well a few things...

Having a lighter lunch could risk you over eating at dinner time. When a pizza night with friends got scheduled I ate sensibly all day to account for the high calories in the evening but I found I could have really eaten more and it was hard to stay on track. Once in a while this works if you have the will power.

What about preparing the large meal and freezing a portion of it for later? What kinds of large meals are we talking? I often make myself a slight variation on what's for dinner...I swap veggies, add a salad, no bread etc.

If you mean something like lasagna, casseroles, etc then it's up to you to portion control or prepare it in a way that it fits in your day.

Hope that makes sense

Another option would be to look into intermittent fasting. (Do a Google search and you will find lots of info. There is also an IFF group here on MFP) Some people practice 16:8 which is not eating anything for 16 hours and consume your daily calories during an 8 hour period. I know this sounds a little whacky, but there are studies that show this to be a beneficial approach. Essentially, you could choose to skip breakfast, eat little to no calories at lunch, and then enjoy your evenings with your fella.

I have the same exact problem on the weekend.. my husband likes to eat out a big meal at night with beer and dessert so what I do is snacky food during the day then a huge 800+ meal at night.. I make my goal. I never feel well in the morning, queasy stomach since I was a kid so usually I have coffee then a lunch of fruit. Keeping my total low also allows for snacks before bed and if I want a beer too. Sometimes you need to just adapt.. so the dinner isn't too heavy for me of course I order a healthier meal or take a smaller proportion. At home I fix a ton of veggies and may give him a plate of spaghetti but I take a cup of spaghetti and mainly the plate is fresh veggies. I eat before he gets home or out to dinner I tell him not to bug me as I'm dieting. I've been married though over 28 years so.. hope that helps.

Dinner is tricky. My kids will eat kid food, my husband will eat almost anything, and I try to eat healthy.
So, I try to pick a lean protein, then make a lot of veggies so I can eat a lot of veggies. The carb I either skip and just make for my kids and hubby, or I sub for something healthy. In the carb switch case, I have carbs pre-made for myself in the fridge, and divided into portions. I like Wild Rice by Lundburgh, Potatoes (baked or sliced with salt and baked), and steel cut oats.

At the same time, if I eat spaghetti with everyone else and go light on it, sometimes I feel like I have more go-power the next day (especially for a long or vigorous morning workout). When do you prefer to work out? That also may help decide what and when to eat.