lorilbuckner1 wrote: »

now I'm 5 months out from my surgery, 25lbs from goal, knowing exactly what I need to do, yet struggling to get the gumption to do it... I seem to be vacillating between frustrated, pissed off at myself and not caring... I'm not looking for sympathy; I have let everyone's compassion and understanding become a comfortable excuse. I'm more in need of an butt kicking. I have been given a gift and lost sight of how lucky I am. I can hear Jims voice saying "Get cracken you slacker"... A line he has used on me throughout our childhood and into our adulthood. Usually about once a week or so I'd get that msg in a random text for no reason at all...
My husband and I were enjoying some quite time just relaxing on the deck last night and out of the blue he looked at me and quietly said "don't you think its time you stopped being a slacker?" He usually just supports what I do but doesn't point out my failings..

Lori, first i'm sorry for your loss, it sounds like your family has been hit pretty hard by the worst disease there is. secondly, it sounds like you are kicking your own butt, so there's not really a need for any of us to do that for you. since you know what you need to do, just start over focusing on the basics. get your protien in, exercise, stay hydrated and track your intake. as far a moral support, it sounds like you have plenty of support from your husband, so listen to him (at least occasionally) and "quit being a slacker"

I'm so sorry for your loss and can offer huge hugs and commiseration. I had a huge blow to my family the week before my surgery, like yours, one that leaves you forever changed. I went back to my bariatric psychologist 2 days before my surgery, told her what had happened and asked if I should postpone. She told me that she'd hunt me down if I ran from my surgery, because in our times of grief are when we need to stand tall, realize that our lives are precious, and work to live our lives to the fullest. The best way to move on from tragedy is to find a way to honor our loved ones as we use our experiences to make us stronger, wiser, and better people.

I'm now almost 3.5 months out from that day, and while I still think about what happened, I'm a stronger person than I was, and I celebrate our family's strength in how far we have all come, in weight loss for my mom and I, and personally for my sister and nieces. MFP has been a huge part of that- I "estimated portions" to 260lbs, and no longer trust myself. Everything gets logged, and the people here are great cheerleaders and butt kickers when I occasionally need a kick. Friend me if you'd like.

Don't spend any more time beating yourself up. You recognize what you need to do. Execute the plan without the self abuse. Life will never stop throwing things at you. Separate the grieving from taking care of you and do your best.

We'll all be cheering you on

I am very sorry for your loss. You know what you need to do. You spent a lot of time, effort and money to get to this point and you don't want to waste all that. And your friend would not have wanted you to do that either. He would have wanted to see you celebrate getting to goal. So back on the wagon girl!

Lori, so sorry for your loss. Since you know exactly what you have to do, get out there and do it...for you and for him. Thank you for being open and honest about your struggles...you've inspired for me to get crackin' as I've been quite the slacker lately. I look forward to your updates in the days and weeks to come!

Hugs - what a great message and what an awesome hubs you have, a little ribbing now and then can be fun, look for "slacker" signs when you're out and about, I am sure cousin will find a way to get his random texts and love to you in new ways And like everyone said this isn't a quick race you got this! Be gentle with yourself life comes at us, you are doing great!

Lori, I am so sorry for your loss. I want to say here that everyone needs time to grieve, so don't be too tough on yourself. It sounds to me like it's time to put your grief a little to the side and start taking care of yourself again. What a great husband to gently prod you in the right direction and that he would use your cousin's words? Well it brought tears to my eyes! How loving and sensitive of him! He must have known you needed to hear that right then. So, back to business girlfriend! Log accurately, plan your meals, get your water and protein in and get back to working out. You can do this!

Hugs to you - what a horrible loss.
Be kind to yourself. Consider seeking a support group or counseling to help you put your loss into perspective.

And don't forget - you are loved and your health is important. Give yourself time to heal.

So sorry for your loss, Lori. We're all behind you and know you've got this!

Lori, I'm very sorry. Does your employer have an employee assistance program? You can often get a few sessions with a therapist for free. I don't know how you feel about therapy. But, I found that a few sessions in therapy helped me handle a couple of times when adult life just became complicated and hard (death, divorce, etc.) A good therapist is (a) someone you can unload on, as much as you need to and (b) can help you recognize and identify ways of getting over self-defeating mental roadblocks. I'm not sure if you'll take the word of someone who just put up a sparkly cat picture for her selfie image, but I hope you consider it. You could also talk to your surgeon's office, and see what they recommend.