I think its sleep deprivation plus I have missed some meds recently and my head is not where it should be. Yesterday I got one hours sleep after my night shift but coped surprisingly well. I even went to the gym. But today ive been all over the place. I have been feeling sick and shaky and my driving has been appalling. I've also noticed my noise intolerance has been bothering me and my anxiety which has been up lately anyway has been much more bothersome. So I blew off the gym because I couldnt face it. But my eating has been out of whack for about 3 days now and Ive barely drunk any water just soda. I really need to get my sleep and my meds on track I think as Ive also had some bothersome thoughts. Its probably nothing to some people but sleep and tiredness really affects me and missing my drugs seems to as well.

So Im gonna try and get back on track tomo, weigh myself and get back logging and chugging water but as far as this challenge goes Ive blown it.

In other news Ive planned an awesome summer break with my kids which started today when I dragged my sorry tired *kitten* out the house to take them to a nearby country park for a ranger led event - junior nature detectives. We had a good time tromping around the woods looking for animals and bugs. We found a red tailed bumble bee and some frogs and ear wigs. Im hoping to get on another 5 or 6 ranger events this summer as well as taking them to some animal workshops and the natural history museum down the road. So Ive had some fresh air and a good walk today. I also took them to their swimming classes yesterday and today. Yesterday was big un and today my litlee who astonished me - shes only 4 and has only been going 3 weeks and she jumped in the deep end of the pool then swam 25m with her woggle and armbands on. Even her teacher was blown away. I figure if she can challenge herself so can I

Heres my biggest girl with her earwig

Thankyou I think shes pretty awesome

Well ive not been back on track today though ive been better. I have some serious thinking to do. I seem to be in an all or nothing mind frame atm and i know its not healthy or helpful. Im either bingeing or restricting and. I need to stop both and go back to my 1700 cals. I skipped the gym again today and tomorrow im working, sat sleeping so if i dont go sunday it will end up a week with no exercise other than walking

Good day with kids today took them to the library and then to a small local soft play thats free to use. Tomorrow I am taking them swimming and then to their animal talk and trying to sleep in between and saturday Mr Badger is taking them to another ranger event that sounds amazing and im sorry to miss it.

And since I showed you my big 6yo girl yesterday this beautiful eyed creature is my 4 yo baby girl