I am SO sorry - you are having a really tough time right now. Nothing breaks our heart and dominates our thinking more than when one of our children in crisis. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for you but instead I can remind you that you will not be satisfied down the line if you go all undisciplined on your eating and end up with too tight jeans. So far you have only added on 6lb - you can claw that back anytime and when your head is in the right space you will. Meanwhile, try and log your eating just to keep on track. You could increase your allowance to maintenance level (maintenance calories feel decadent after 1200), but make sure you work in a daily 'treat' whatever that looks like - food, audio book, bath. I always have my two squares of 90% chocolate every night - I can hold out when I know it's there. Obviously chocolate isn't the answer to all the world's problems but whatever - be gentle on yourself, so that you can be strong for your family. I really hope some of your issues resolve themselves.