Smiphette: Finding a New Normal

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smiphette
smiphette Posts: 177 Member
I suffered a brain injury several months ago. Extended physical and cognitive rest took a toll on my fitness, which I compounded with large quantities of comfort foods. Things are starting to return to normal, but I am different. I have to be content with what I am capable of on any given day, not focused on what I planned or wanted to able to do.

Before the injury, I always had a plan. I was always busy doing or analyzing something. I got things done. Now, I have times where I do nothing. Seriously, nothing. I sit and stare into space and think about nothing. And I am somehow OK with it.

Before the injury, I was freakishly punctual. Now, some days I am slower than others—sometimes I even forget to be places. And my world doesn't end.

Before the injury, I had a plan and stuck to it. If I was still sore from a previous workout, I would double down and push harder. Now, I can't force things. Each day, I have to assess where I am and make choices that won't cause me to regress. It might take me 10+ days to complete a 5 day fitness challenge. But 20 days before that, I wasn't able to do any of it.

I started making small changes without really tracking intake or exercise, to avoid getting hung up on planned vs. actual. But over the last couple weeks, I decided I needed a record of what is working or not. So I started tracking. I am down a few lbs, getting stronger, and hopeful that I can continue keeping my priorities of balance and self care ahead of weight loss or performance goals.
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  • smiphette
    smiphette Posts: 177 Member
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    Last couple of days have been good. I stepped up my exercise a little with yoga, running, and lifting. I am taking time off or going for easier modifications when I feel too sore or tired.

    On the needs improvement side, I need to eat differently. Even though I feel like I am eating all the time, I am eating too little early in the day on weekdays then trying to catch up at night to try to stay between 1200-1400 calories. I have trouble eating in the mornings, so I am going to have to experiment.

    Sleep has been a little off due to some early shifts and the late eating. Tomorrow is my last late shift. With a couple of eating adjustments, hopefully I'll be back to 8 hrs a night shortly.
  • smiphette
    smiphette Posts: 177 Member
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    I've had a low-motivation, self-doubty start to the week. I looked back at my exercise and realized I hadn't taken a full rest day in two weeks. I took a day off, tried to get a little extra sleep, and I am mostly back in the right head space.

    I am lifting 3 times a week and seeing strength gains. I braved the pullup bar this week--meaning I hung from it attempting to pull while mostly moving my weight with my legs. My back and biceps are sore, so I am counting it as a victory.

    Inspired by @kettiecat I am going to weigh myself daily for a bit to see what the data looks like. Maybe it will help me to be a little less hung up on the number on the scale.

    I am starting to lose some inches too. Yay! But in a grand joke, my body is losing inches in the smaller parts faster than the bigger parts. My waist (-2 inches) is dropping faster than my gut (-.75 inches), so my gut looks bigger even though it is smaller. Not funny body!
  • totaldetermination
    totaldetermination Posts: 1,184 Member
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    congratulations on the inches starting to drop !

    Its great that you had the awareness to notice your motivation dropping and that you connected it with not having had a rest day. I guess working shifts can be draining, both physically and emotionally. Keeping your head in the right space is certainly key to success, and you're doing great !
  • angie_kins
    angie_kins Posts: 44 Member
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    Congratulations on all the progress you've made so far! I laughed when I read the bit about "not funny body"...I always lose weight in my arms and face first, which is where I need it the least! But, it's also a sign that weight loss is happening, which keeps me determined. Keep up the good work!
  • LottieStanley
    LottieStanley Posts: 290 Member
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    My nutricianist told me she put a pull-up bar in the doorway to the kitchen. Every time she went to the refrigerator she had to attempt a pull-up. I know if I tried I'd probably hang there too, my arms are really weak.

    You are also an inspiration, coming back from a brain injury couldn't be easy.

    Keep up the great work. :blush:

  • totaldetermination
    totaldetermination Posts: 1,184 Member
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    Love the pull-up bar idea ! i don't think my arms are strong enough for me to even hang.
    Now I'm eyeing my home to see if I can hang off anything to try :smile:.
  • kettiecat
    kettiecat Posts: 159 Member
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    They sell modified pull up bars so you can work your way up to a "real" pull up. My husband bought one weeks ago. This has inspired me to actually install it.
  • smiphette
    smiphette Posts: 177 Member
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    Normally, I navigate restaurants just like home meals, attempting to make decent choices on foods I like. But for Valentine's day, the mister is taking me to a restaurant that is having a fixed price menu. They normally have small to reasonable portions, but it is NOT diet food.

    I am trying to make a plan for this that doesn't make me crazy. It is likely that guessing at calories will be wildly inaccurate. Crunching the numbers, if meet my calorie goal for the other days in the week, then eat 3 times my normal calorie goal on v-day, my weekly average is under maintenance calories for my current weight.

    So, the plan is to
    1. Log the day normally, but record the dinner at a generic 4000 calories. It doesn't necessarily reflect reality, but it gives me a recorded spike for history
    2. Eat slowly and stop eating when I am full. I don't have to eat half of what is on the plate just because we are sharing.
    3. Maintain my current exercise plan
    4. Do not take any other action (drastic calorie restrictions or extra exercise)
    5. Do not feel guilty -- this could be the hardest one
  • cmr3399
    cmr3399 Posts: 80 Member
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    Wow...you seriously are an inspiration. Congrats on the inches lost. I'm glad you are recovering one step at a time.
    Hope you don't mid I'm going to be a super Lurker on your Journal. I find it very motivating. I Hope Valentine's Day is a Good one for you. I told the BF ..actually BEGGED him to not incorporate a meal or sweets in my day. He graciously agreed and blessed me with another tattoo session. That was more awesome than any box of chocolate could have made me. Wait..whom am I kidding..chocolate cures everything. Keep on Pushing!!! You have this!!!
  • Kell2912
    Kell2912 Posts: 485 Member
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    way to go for all the progress you have made. Truly an inspiration. i will be following your posts to keep up to date
  • smiphette
    smiphette Posts: 177 Member
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    So tired this week! I worked the late shift, so my sleep has been abysmal. I drank all the coffee, but I didn't eat all the extra food--yay! I kept wanting to eat because I was so tired, but I wasn't actually hungry. Through distraction and hydration, I managed to stave off the worst of it.

    I had a couple of great runs this week. One was a normal pace, 2 miles with no walking. I have been working 3.5 mile run/walk for a while. Since that felt so good, I wondered if I could do 3 miles all running if I ran a little slower--yes, I can! I think I will continue to mix it up. It is nice to have options depending on how you feel.

    I have also been tracking my weight daily. That has been pretty eye opening. The numbers are all over the place, but generally trending down. That seems like a good reason not to obsess over the number on any given day.

    I am down 6.5lbs since I started 4 weeks ago. My goal is to reduce by 10% in 12 weeks, so I am well on track.



  • LottieStanley
    LottieStanley Posts: 290 Member
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    Wow you are doing great on your exercise. I used to mix it up too. I like outdoors and indoors too. Weather hasn't been good so outdoors isn't a good option now. I hope you enjoy your Valentines dinner. I think your plan regarding this is good.
  • totaldetermination
    totaldetermination Posts: 1,184 Member
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    Sounds like everything is going so well :smile:. You're running well, controlling your eating, and making great progress towards your goals.
    Would having a supply of low calories snacks (eg carrot, celery) help you through the night shifts ? I found that for me, finding an eating plan that worked for me and my schedule was a massive breakthrough point. It didn't change how much weight I lost, but it made the whole process a lot easier. It took a fair amount of trial and error to find a plan and I learnt alot about myself in the process. Now I still need discipline, but it is much easier.
  • Kell2912
    Kell2912 Posts: 485 Member
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    Getting through that ":head" hunger is one of the hardest things to do. Good on you for overcoming it
  • smiphette
    smiphette Posts: 177 Member
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    Eating and logging are back on track v-day (which was awesome). I am fighting a cold, so napping has been my exercise of choice lately.
  • WifiresGettingFit
    WifiresGettingFit Posts: 1,773 Member
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    Hope you feel better! :)
  • totaldetermination
    totaldetermination Posts: 1,184 Member
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    That's great that you enjoyed the day and were able to get right back on track. :smile:.
    Apparently the body burns more calories when it's fighting illness. Not sure if that's true, but I like to think so. Hope you feel better soon !
  • Kell2912
    Kell2912 Posts: 485 Member
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    @totaldetermination it is true the body burns more when it is sick as it is channelling all of it's rescourses into fighting the bug or infection. That's why it is important to rest when you're sick so your body has the energy to do what it has to do to get better. THat's why you feel so tired when sick because you're body is doing twice the usual work it does just for maintenance
  • smiphette
    smiphette Posts: 177 Member
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    I am still trying to healthy. I haven't been tracking or making very good choices for a week. I am pulling it back together and getting back on track.
  • LottieStanley
    LottieStanley Posts: 290 Member
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    Glad you're back!!! You can do this.