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This place was formed as a support group and a safe place to share what you are going through. Although it is small we are growing everyday. Hopefully here you can find like minded people and learn things to help you cope when the urge to binge strikes.0
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I am also an introvert, and can relate to a lot of the things you mention in your post. Binging as a way to wind down is definitely familiar to me.0
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Hello,
My name is Lacy. I have BED. My weight loss journey started as a super healthy journey. I gained 70lbs while pregnant with my son. Im only 5" tall so that is a lot of weigh for someone my height. I lost 20lbs pretty quickly with the birth and breast feeding. I started doing hot vinyasa yoga and I started losing weight quickly. I have a background and family history of many mental issues and depression but when I started doing yoga I was able to get off all of my meds slowly. I even stopped smoking pot which I had done habitually for 20 years. I had lost nearly 50lbs and was back to my pre-baby weight. I wanted to lose a few more pounds and get under 120lbs. I started dieting hardcore and I also workout a lot. I am pretty intense and I absolutely love working out doing hardcore cardio and lifting. I exercise 7 days a week for at least a few hours every single day. When I don't exercise I immediately start go into depression and getting anxiety. Exercise is my medication and my outlet, it is how I "relax". I believe along with extreme exercise while being very restrictive with my diet has lead me to this BED. Its really horrible to work out 2+ hours a day and see reverse results.
I've been trying to deal with BED on my own for over a year now. Ive talked to my primary care physician but most doctors and therapist don't really understand. I feel like I have no control over myself around food. I am not a picky eater which does not help the situation at all. If its edible I most likely enjoy eating it. It also doesn't help that I have a 7 year old and a husband who eat a regular non restrictive diet. I cant see or have food around me without thinking about them compulsively. Recently it has lead me to abusing laxatives. Luckily I have no gag reflex or I would probably be bulimic. I have gained about 10-12 lbs over the last year and its starting to send me into depression again. My Doctor tried putting me on Anti anxiety medication which did not help in the least. I cant stand chasing my tail trying to figure out what's causing this or how to fix it. Is it hormones, is it dieting, is it exercising, is it stress.. I don't know anything anymore and I'm tired of trying to figure it out. Why cant I be satisfied. Why is it that I can always eat and I don't really know what being full is unless I'm so full that I am beached on my couch with a stomach ache. I used to have such a healthy relationship with food, I really miss not thinking about eating or planning what I'm going to eat. I miss going out to dinner and really enjoying myself. I just want to be normal again. Everyday I try to wake up with a positive attitude and make everyday a "New Day" but the length of time that I have been dealing with this is starting to wear on me. I'm just so over this daily struggle. Feeling defeated.0 -
The thing most people do not understand is that it is a daily constant struggle. But people just look at it as we have no self control. We do have control it is just that when you are fighting your own brain sometimes things are not so black and white. You can be having a great day for a few days in a row then bam something triggers inside you and you are powerless. Someone posted in the rant that you see all these support groups for anorexia and bulimia, not really a lot out the for B.E.D. (Although awareness is growing) Outsiders do not know the daily struggle to stay in control. But as with any fight eventually you get worn down and sometimes you lose the fight. That is when things really suck. But you do not have to keep letting it beat you down. You have support here. This group is for support, it is for sharing, and helping, and although we may be miles, or states, or continents apart we can all still be here for each other. Remember you are not alone, and not in the creepy x-files kind of way. That is a whole different group.0
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It's so nice to see that others have the same feelings and thoughts that I have. I try to explain to my boyfriend and he doesn't get it at all.0
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My mother gets it, but she has struggled with EDs for as long as I've been alive, and probably before that, too.
My dh wants to be helpful and supportive, but doesn't always know how. He loved me at 300, he loved me at 175 (my lowest weight ever) and he loves me now.
My mother in law (aka " Walking Evil") doesn't get it and she is awful about my weight, though I fail to see how it is her concern. My father....he's a marginal player in my life and my brother, who was awful when we were kids DS, is more supportive, but he's not allowed "in here" ( My fellow introverts will totally understand that lol)
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this is long, but, says it all
http://the-healing-nest.tumblr.com/post/96457447460/what-eating-disorders-are-really-about
need to accept yourself for who we are. i am one who doesn't know where it came from, that bothered me for months in the beginning. until a counselor told me to just move on from where i am at now. it really doesn't matter why, it matters to accept yourself now.0 -
chipper15173 wrote: »just move on from where i am at now. it really doesn't matter why, it matters to accept yourself now.
I think that some people need to go back and discover 'why' and 'how' they got to where they are. And some don't. This is just my personal belief. When I was a drunk, I almost exclusively blamed my mother for my 'situation.' When I decided to quit, I one day, suddenly thought to myself.... 'self'...... it doesn't matter whose fault this is, YOU are the only one who can fix it. That was a turning point for me.
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"What Eating Disorders Are Really About" I have been struggling with even talking about my feelings because I don't feel like others around me understand what I'm going through and you have said it perfectly. I just want to THANK YOU for helping me to realize I'm not crazy and that others feel this way also.1
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Hi everyone! Ive been trying to lose weight forever, and am having a hard time because of binge eating. I dont have huge binges, but they are almost daily and I always go to bed saying that Ill do better the next day, but of course, I never do. Im hoping to find some accountability and support from others who understand!0
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Hello Breadie and welcome. This is a hard struggle that we are all facing. It does not matter the how much you are binging, it is enough to know that there is a pattern, and that you recognize that you have an issue. I hope you can find support here and that you feel this is a safe place to share what you are dealing with.0
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Hey everyone! My name is Peyton. Wanted to re-post on this thread to introduce myself. I was diagnosed with BED about 6 years ago and it continues to be a battle with every emotional struggle. I have been binge free for about 2 months after starting keto and opening up to some close friends about my disorder. This is the first time I've joined a group or introduced myself in this way-- but for some reason feel empowered to do so tonight. Here for anyone who needs a partner/support system. ❤️0
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Thank you for sharing a little bit about yourself with the group. I am glad you found us.0
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I would like to thank Mike for starting this group. I feel like I have a nice safe place to go when I am feeling ‘stressed’.
Like most of the stories, I have been bingeing for many years and eat uncontrollably when ‘in that state’.
Over the last few years I have tried very hard to keep the binge under control (when it does happen). Keeping it to 1 day, rather than a few months, for example.
Personally, one of my largest triggers seems to be an ‘all or nothing attitude’. When I am good, I am very good, but when I allow myself something unplanned or special, it sets my mind to ‘try to enjoy all the things I deny myself’.
Thanks again Mike
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Hello everyone.
I've been dealing with binge eating disorder for many years. Prior to that, I was anorexic. My relationship with food has never been healthy. Neither has my relationship with myself.
My biggest problem is waking up in the middle of the night and eating. I can be really good all day, stay within my calorie goal, etc., but then I'll go to bed and inevitably wake up a couple hours later and go eat everything in the kitchen. I don't know why I do this, but I literally cannot control it. It's like I'm on auto-pilot when it happens.
I told my doctor about it, and his primary concern was that I was waking up in the middle of the night in the first place. I have never been a good sleeper, waking up multiple times a night. Doctor gave me a prescription for Lunesta to help me stay asleep through the night.
The Lunesta has been a huge help. It keeps me asleep longer, so that I'm not waking up as frequently and going to eat. I've also stopped keeping trigger foods in the house. so that if I do wake up, there will be nothing to binge on. This has also helped.
I take it day by day (or night by night), and find that since starting MFP I have had more "good" nights than nights where I binge. That is not to say my binging has stopped completely... I still have an occasional bad night... but for the most part I feel like I have more control over it.
It's nice to know I am not alone when it comes to binge eating disorder. I am so happy that this group exists.0 -
I'm all over the message boards today, and I'm pretty sure I never took the time to formally introduce myself. So a little about me:
My name is Anna, I am 28 years old and currently getting my Master's in Public Health. I was raised in Portland, OR but am in NY for school. I am recently married, and wrapping up my degree with a little over a month to go. In addition to school, I am also doing three internships that are pretty heavy duty.
I have never had a healthy relationship with food, and have always been overly concerned with my weight. I've struggled with anorexia and bulimia in the past. I also have a history of issues with exercise, and so part of my recovery has been to focus on exercising significantly less and not using it as a crutch. That has been going great since October, and then recently I'm barely exercising at all which is causing me some mental anguish. My eating issues go back really far. I even used to have a problem with sleep-eating! Luckily, I haven't experienced that for a while. I tend to go through pretty intense binge cycles followed my restrictive phases, so ultimately my goal is balance.0 -
My relationship with food was never healthy. I would sneak in extra food during school lunches, eating breakfast at home and at school, etc...
I started binging heavily after high school, during my time as a NEET. I would go to the grocery store when nobody was at home and buy as much food as I could. These "brunches" would usually consist of a frozen hamburger, a pint of ice cream, a package of Oreos, something from Kroger's bakery, something Hostess, and some chips (the dollar bag of Cheetos were my favorite). Everything would be eaten that day. Me and my sister would have days where we just ate as much as we could.
I ballooned to probably over 300lbs (the last time I was weighed was during my senior year of high school, around 270s) and eventually, my family wanted to have an "intervention" about my weight. Their idea was to ship me off to a fat camp to humiliate me for a few weeks. With this as motivation, I started eating diet foods until I discovered calorie counting and properly logging and tried eating as little as possible. Unfortunately, I successfully ate between less than 800-1,000 calories for a year or two, until I discovered MFP and realized how much I was harming myself. I lost my period late 2014 (just started again this January) and just felt light headed all the time. I binged some days last year and during my stay in the hospital and rehabilitation center after a car accident.
This February, I had a nearly month long binge and shot up from around 140 to 165 (currently down to 158). I was just very anxious and didn't deal with some issues at home very well. There were a few days around Easter where I relapsed, but one day at a time.
I've been working on being more open with everyone and making an effort to get help as soon as I feel I need it instead of trying to hide my problems from the professionals and my sister.0
