So annoyed neigtive parents!
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ettaterrell
Posts: 887 Member
called my parents tonight both very large people and dad is diabetic needing shots. Step mom tells me "I saw on the Today show that coconut oil is very bad for you and when heated can kill you" and "I talked to our doctor and he said under no circumstances should we do that diet" I said well I can tell you this diet isn't as bad as being fat and diabetic is! I'm not into all the sience of this diet all I know is it's worked for me and it works.
Just annoyed I've shut everyone up by now with all their negative feed back with the results I've gotten. Now when I'm trying to get them to do it they want to bash it and talk about me gaining all the weight back.. "Don't get rid of your close so if you gain the weight back" "as soon as your stop this diet you will gain all the weight back". Throwing my hands up!!
Just annoyed I've shut everyone up by now with all their negative feed back with the results I've gotten. Now when I'm trying to get them to do it they want to bash it and talk about me gaining all the weight back.. "Don't get rid of your close so if you gain the weight back" "as soon as your stop this diet you will gain all the weight back". Throwing my hands up!!
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Hugs!! My in laws don't get it either. FIL is also diabetic, and has a real penchant for eating sweets that he shouldn't be eating. He's had sugars so low he's very near to passing out on quite a few occasions, but I don't think he'd ever give up the carbs, healthy or not.
Just don't let them get you down, and keep at it. I think the biggest issue is that we have a society that is so involved in this cycle of dieting and weight gain, that it's hard to fathom a total lifestyle change. You've got this! Get rid of your fat clothes!0 -
Oh geez I don't even know how I'd respond to that. I know what I'd say if they weren't my parents but it would be snarky and rather mean. It sounds like they are just looking for reasons why it can't possibly be good because they don't want to put the effort in to try something that might change their health. So instead they feel the need to demonize it that way they don't feel like failures for not even trying. Some people are just like that.0
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Yeah... I don't even tell people what I am doing unless they ask.
Suggesting people give up some of their carbs is like arguing gun control with the NRA... You can pry my carbs from my cold dead hands.
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It only gets worse as your parents get older. Both of mine are in their mid-70's. Both are suffering the effects of high-carb diets. Both refer to my diet as "his crazy diet."
It's hard to watch them go downhill. We do what we can do. At least they give me a strong incentive to try something different, and that's one way parents can guide us even if we can't help them.0 -
I know the feeling. My in-laws are the same way, and my mom's house is a low fat carbfest (though at least her way seems to be working for her, my MIL recently had to start insulin). I share what works for me with my mom, but I've given up with my in-laws.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, as they say. And I've done plenty of leading, including linking my MIL to Dr. Fung's stuff about Diabetes, when she first went on insulin, because it supposedly scared her and she didn't want to have to keep doing that. If a video that basically says "yes, Diabetes is reversible" isn't enough to get her to change, I don't know what is. Both she and her mother have my copies of Primal Blueprint and The Calorie Myth for going on a year now and yet I doubt either of them have so much as cracked the covers. Not even after her mother had a quadruple bypass (quad, officially; I think they actually had to deal with more, there was 70-90% blockage in the affected vessels) has she changed her diet that I know of (her mother seems to have made some changes, most notably getting the sugar out of her diet, though she's still stuck on "healthy whole grains" and whatnot).
What astounds me the most, though, is my FIL, whose extent of vegetable intake is corn and white potatoes. I have to stand by and watch his health deteriorate, while holding what is arguably the perfect solution for him (zero carb/carnivory), because he's too damned stubborn and too much of an adult baby to just drop those starches and enjoy just the nice, juicy steaks.
It boils my blood to think about it, but honestly, I have no choice but to wash my hands of them, keep doing my thing and hopefully be a positive example for them as I lose weight and regain my health. Suffice to say, I try not to think about it.0 -
What I do is tend to present my viewpoint, listen to their viewpoint, and then I say, "Okay." Then they marvel (even 3 days ago) "oh, you look good."0
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When asked, my answer is always " cutting out the whites, white sugar, white flour, white rice.......that always works. When out to eat with friends, since I've stated that, it's no surprise when I get meat grilled in olive oil , a salad and a veggie--- or big green salad with only protein on top.
In most cases, if I were to explain LC/HF, I'd be challenged much more. People, in general, do get that " cutting out the whites" .........so deep down they know all those sugars, bread, and flours are the problem.
The family members who deride you have lost their way and they're miserable....I'm so happy, we here on this forum, can offer each other support.0 -
I can't add much here that's not already been said. I will say that you're doing great and that's the best way to encourage others to join you. My step mom, my BFF, my half sister, my husband have all gotten onboard with this WOE after seeing my results...on their own volition. My sister, on the other hand, the one who is 150+ lbs overweight and half in a wheelchair, will not do it. She has excuses after excuses why she can't/won't do it. She thrives on being the victim. "It's genetic", "My doctor says...", "I can't afford it", "I don't each much", "I had gallbladder surgery" I've heard it all.
You cannot make someone change. They have to want to change.0 -
I guess we all have someone down that road.. I had them wanting to do it then they watched the today show (I didn't see it) saying co is bad. I knew where the conversation was headed then lol.
Thanks everyone for the responses and I'm glad we all have this place to come vent and learn from! Thanks again0 -
Humans seek information that validates our beliefs. Unfortunately some significant and quite unhealthy folk in our lives feel like they are helping us by telling us coconut oil is bad, we need 5 fruit n veg a day etc.
Based on evidence (our healthier minds n bodies plus our weight loss) we have found a WOE that works. Based on results they are yet to find one. Unfortunately that evidence shatters globally supported and popular views so clearly must be an anomaly, so of course we will put weight back on, otherwise we might have found a WOE that is sustainable in works, and worse still their beliefs could be shattered.
I like the avoiding white idea. I use doctor has advised I am not allowed to have sugar. Then it is not about me or them. Hugs.0 -
Big hugs, that's such a frustrating experience. It's really sad to find such an amazing woe that offers such great health benefits without sacrificing the pleasure of food and not be able to share the experience with your loved ones.
My mom, who passed on the diabetic gene just won't have it. She's been diabetic for 15 years and has progressed to insulin, which she hates. She feels like it's not fair because she's never been more than 20 lbs overweight and instead of dealing with it, she sticks her head in the sand and literally said to me that her kids are all grown up now, so it doesn't matter if she dies. All I could say was, snarkily, yes, I understand, I like cakes and cookies a lot too, thank goodness I can still eat chocolate, cream, butter and steak.
I do get it though. Until you experience this yourself, it's pretty hard to get your head around it.0 -
Dragonwolf wrote: »I know the feeling. My in-laws are the same way, and my mom's house is a low fat carbfest (though at least her way seems to be working for her, my MIL recently had to start insulin). I share what works for me with my mom, but I've given up with my in-laws.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, as they say. And I've done plenty of leading, including linking my MIL to Dr. Fung's stuff about Diabetes, when she first went on insulin, because it supposedly scared her and she didn't want to have to keep doing that. If a video that basically says "yes, Diabetes is reversible" isn't enough to get her to change, I don't know what is. Both she and her mother have my copies of Primal Blueprint and The Calorie Myth for going on a year now and yet I doubt either of them have so much as cracked the covers. Not even after her mother had a quadruple bypass (quad, officially; I think they actually had to deal with more, there was 70-90% blockage in the affected vessels) has she changed her diet that I know of (her mother seems to have made some changes, most notably getting the sugar out of her diet, though she's still stuck on "healthy whole grains" and whatnot).
What astounds me the most, though, is my FIL, whose extent of vegetable intake is corn and white potatoes. I have to stand by and watch his health deteriorate, while holding what is arguably the perfect solution for him (zero carb/carnivory), because he's too damned stubborn and too much of an adult baby to just drop those starches and enjoy just the nice, juicy steaks.
It boils my blood to think about it, but honestly, I have no choice but to wash my hands of them, keep doing my thing and hopefully be a positive example for them as I lose weight and regain my health. Suffice to say, I try not to think about it.
All of this hits home for me (although primarily my mom and MIL - lesser extent FIL). My mother-in-law once went "low carb" (her words) because "God told her to" - but her idea of low carb was EXTREMELY loose (probably in the 200g a day range lol). She says FIL keeps saying they "need to change how they eat" and then in the next breath he goes on to complain about the "healthier" options she cooks so she just doesn't bother anymore, which makes him harp on eating better even louder, which makes their world go 'round.
My mom OTOH is so brain washed from being in and out of Weight Watchers for probably the last 25 years that she just can't get her brain around two things - 1) a FREE program/idea/diet/WOE that WORKS and 2) the High Fat aspect of this WOE. Every few weeks she's asking me "do you think I should buy this Primal / Paleo / Weight Loss Acceleration Keto package?" I just shake my head. I want to grab her by the shoulders and give her a good shaking but what can I do? I also have no choice but to watch with sadness. She's full of "I could NEVER"s, too: I could NEVER eat that much fat; I could NEVER eat a fat bomb; I could NEVER succeed (to be fair she hasn't actually SAID that last one, it still comes across loud and clear though). I only have one "I could NEVER": I could NEVER go back!0 -
That's too bad you got such a negative response. But it's her disbelief in something that works rather than her disbelief in you. Just try to keep that part in perspective.0
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To the "as soon as you stop that diet you'll gain the weight back" argument, I say "That's true of any DIET. That's why this is a new lifestyle for me."0
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glossbones wrote: »To the "as soon as you stop that diet you'll gain the weight back" argument, I say "That's true of any DIET. That's why this is a new lifestyle for me."
So true.
I may not always stay in ketogenic range but I plan to stay LCHF for life unless something changes.
For me personally I felt more self-conscious about this WOE when I first started, since I was doing it just for weight loss and I knew people might worry I was being extreme and unhealthy. But since I've had a variety of health benefits beyond weight loss, AND there's research pointing to LCHF being good for both my PCOS and my MS, AND even my cardiologist validated it for MS, I feel more comfortable now being a bit more open about it.0 -
I'm reading "Younger Next Year." The doctor co-author gives us a lot of scientifically based reasons why we should find ways to get healthier and possibly save our lives (or avoid spending our last ten years in a nursing home.) The non-doctor co-author is a plain spoken kind of guy whose most memorable rule is "Stop lying to yourself." Your parents haven't and probably won't follow this rule, so let it pass.0
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glossbones wrote: »To the "as soon as you stop that diet you'll gain the weight back" argument, I say "That's true of any DIET. That's why this is a new lifestyle for me."
Very true!!
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I seem to gravitate towards controversial or unpopular opinions anyway, so I am kind of used to people being that way with me. I've learned to just kind of shake my head and keep on keeping on. The other day, my MIL questioned whether or not LCHF was even possible. In that she didn't believe that you could be high in fat without being high in carbs as well. I'm like "Why are you even arguing this with me? It's very obvious you haven't looked into nutrition at all." So I generally don't share too much about this WOE unless someone asks me about it. I've had great weight loss so far, but I I'll be happy a year from now when it has finally leveled out and I can attest that the diet is not as unhealthy as they say it is.0
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Breakfast at my Moms house was coffee cake and cinnamon rolls.
Me: No thanks, I had 2 eggs this morning and I'm full.
Mom: Aren't you worried about your cholesterol?
Sigh...0 -
I have three family members who have had a lot of success following a low carb WOE. They lost the weight over the course of last year and have kept it off ever since. My husband and I are having success at this. We all have so much more energy. Despite this, we are solidly on an island alone where our family is concerned. I have heard more than once at every family gathering for the last year that what we're doing is so unhealthy- as they shovel in brownies and pasta until they can't move from the couch afterward.
This weekend my mother reminded me how "well" I and other family members have done on Weight Watchers. I pointed out that every one of us has really unhealthy attitudes toward food and put all of the weight back on plus easily another thirty pounds.
@Sunny_Bunny_ hits the nail on the head here- it isn't thier disbelief in me (in us), it's thier disbelief in a process they don't want to be a part of. They aren't ready to give up cupcakes and bread and other packaged processed carbage because for them it's easy. That's fine, more bacon for me!0
