Finally got to a milestone I'd been aiming for for ages... then screwed it all up :(
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UMDavies
Posts: 87 Member
So I finally got to the sub-12st bracket last week, and I was so pleased - it's something I'd been trying to reach for ages and it's the lightest I've ever been in my adult life. I was reeeeeaally happy as it shows that eating keto is working for me, and that my exercise regime is working etc. I'd been at a stall for a couple of weeks before this, so it was great to see the scale moving in the right direction again!
Aaaaaaaand then I totally sabotaged myself
I skipped the gym on Friday, and then ate waaaaaay over on calories on Saturday (but did stay keto). Then Sunday I met with a friend for lunch, and stayed on plan until the moment she said 'Shall we order dessert?' and that was it Not only did I have dessert with her, I came home and ordered an obscene amount of Dominos for one person. And I ate an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's. Then on Monday and Tuesday, instead of stopping and addressing the damage, I carried on with cheap, crappy convenience foods and cakes.
I'm so annoyed with myself - I used to binge every weekend before I started keto but the only times I've done it since this WOE have been special occasions, and even then only rarely. I'd forgotten how awful it makes you feel. But it seems to happen every time I start losing a decent amount of weight?! Is this some kind of subconscious self-sabotage?
I'm egg fasting until Monday now to try and undo some of the damage, but it's really knocked my confidence and I'm feeling really upset with myself. Sorry for the rant on here, but I need to hold myself accountable for this and try to do something about it!
Aaaaaaaand then I totally sabotaged myself
I skipped the gym on Friday, and then ate waaaaaay over on calories on Saturday (but did stay keto). Then Sunday I met with a friend for lunch, and stayed on plan until the moment she said 'Shall we order dessert?' and that was it Not only did I have dessert with her, I came home and ordered an obscene amount of Dominos for one person. And I ate an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's. Then on Monday and Tuesday, instead of stopping and addressing the damage, I carried on with cheap, crappy convenience foods and cakes.I'm so annoyed with myself - I used to binge every weekend before I started keto but the only times I've done it since this WOE have been special occasions, and even then only rarely. I'd forgotten how awful it makes you feel. But it seems to happen every time I start losing a decent amount of weight?! Is this some kind of subconscious self-sabotage?
I'm egg fasting until Monday now to try and undo some of the damage, but it's really knocked my confidence and I'm feeling really upset with myself. Sorry for the rant on here, but I need to hold myself accountable for this and try to do something about it!
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So you had a misstep in the wrong direction. Forgive yourself of it and move on, cause guilt tripping is toxic.
Try remind yourself that success over time is more about consistency. We all do mistakes. Refusing to learn from those mistakes is what gives a vicious cycle. Building habits with baby steps is what ultimately will trump your old ways. Unfortunately, teaching yourself what you need (for a better life, rather than desire in the moment is a long process.
You can do it, you're already on the way!0 -
Sometimes, when we feel success for our accomplishments (which is amazing! Congratulations), the success can morph into a feeling of deserving. We begin to feel we deserve x food because we have done so well! Can lead to troubled thinking and consumption.
You are deserving
, but it's deserving the success, it's deserving to feel good from the food you eat, you deserve to feel good about your accomplishments........the list goes on, but food doesn't belong here!
Dust yourself off and get back on the plan that you know works for you! You deserve a hug too for putting it out here! Good for you!! 0 -
You know what I hear in your post? That you have learned a very valuable lesson. So it's set you back a little bit... Ok. You know how to go forward again, and now you know it even better than you did last week! Sounds like progress to me!
As far as self sabotage... I don't think it's that exactly. Maybe it's just that in that moment, it doesn't seem like a big deal to have a little dessert.. you've made progress, you're feeling confident in your ability to stay on plan and maybe the thought comes that says "hey, it's just one dessert. That's all it will be. It's ok". That's where the valuable lesson comes in. Now you know that it can and probably will revive that old binge eating trigger, and will only end up being a challenge that you will have to fight for several days afterward.
Now, you're annoyed with yourself and unhappy about the setback. I would be very careful not to do anything that feels like a "punishment for bad behavior". I don't think it helps at all to have any part of your low carb diet ever feel like something you have to do because you were "bad". If you don't mind egg fasting, I say go for it. I've done it before. I didn't mind. I love eggs! But, you really only have to get back on plan.
Really work on viewing that misstep as a simple lesson, a reminder that you know how to eat. And that's not it. Appreciate it for what you've learned from it. Don't punish yourself.0 -
I agree with @Karlottap and other pp's. I had a binge day and ended up having reflux for days from all the sugar. Like pp said it ended up being a valuable lesson b/c now when I imagine bingeing, I remember how it felt physically afterward and I realize it's not worth it. I might have a small amount of something but nothing too derailing.
Someone on here (baconslave?) said "No guilt, no excuses" in a post I read not long after joining this group and I find that helpful. Just keep moving forward.0 -
macchiatto wrote: »I agree with @Karlottap and other pp's. I had a binge day and ended up having reflux for days from all the sugar. Like pp said it ended up being a valuable lesson b/c now when I imagine bingeing, I remember how it felt physically afterward and I realize it's not worth it. I might have a small amount of something but nothing too derailing.
Someone on here (baconslave?) said "No guilt, no excuses" in a post I read not long after joining this group and I find that helpful. Just keep moving forward.
Twas me.
No guilt, but no excuses.
You messed up? Well duh, you're human. It happens. What makes you isn't the mistake. And beating yourself up over it doesn't do anything but weaken you. Do we just lay in the dirt when we fall off the wagon so it can go ahead and run us over some more? Nope. We are strong. We get back up. We don't lay in the muck and whine and make excuses. We get up and climb back on, recognize and learn from our misstep, and then get back to business. THAT is strength. Not making mistakes ain't gonna happen. Like I said, we are human. We're going to mess up. What makes you is the getting right back up, dusting yourself off, learning from it, and getting back to work. Fall down 7 times? Get up 8.
And @UMDavies, that's exactly what you are doing. Breathe, reflect on what caused you to stumble, and then keep being awesome.
And to look at this another way...
This oops is preparing you for maintenance. Once you get to goal, your weight is going to fluctuate up sometimes. You're about to practice the damage control required to bring it back around. You get to learn how to fix that ahead of time. Silver lining, right? You'll have that experience in your pocket for when you need it later.
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It happens. I did it at Christmas time. Just get back on it and work through the blahs. A few weeks after I was back on plan, I reached my new low after the prior low I was at before Christmas.0
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Life happens and sometimes we make a conscious choice to give into our cravings and desires. The key is not to throw in the towel and get right back on your program, which it sounds like you're doing! Great job! Just focus on getting back on track instead of beating yourself up.
I totally understand though. I've been having a tough week and have been feeling strong urges to have a total carb binge. I've been strong so far, but feel my strength weakening, so I had a fat binge instead this morning and I'm not going to pay any attention to my calories today, just my carbs.0 -
This is a really great feed! @UMDavies Isn't it nice to know that you have such a great support system here? We're all behind you, and it sounds like most of us have been in your shoes, and if we haven't....we probably will at some point in the journey! You got this!0
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It happens! Its all about dusting yourself off and moving on. That said, I just read a fantastic 5 part series over on Keto Gains called "After the Cheat" that is worth reading.0
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Oh wow, guys! I've been at university all day and haven't been able to check this, so I've only just seen all the replies! Thank you all SO MUCH - it's so great having such a wonderful supportive network on the other side of the keyboard I'm feeling much more positive after reading all of your lovely posts and you're all totally right - what's the point in obsessing over it? It happened, it wasn't ideal, but also it wasn't the end of the world either. Yes, it would have been better if I'd caught it earlier, but hey - *kitten* happens! It's not going to make me put on all the weight I've lost already, and it's not going to stop me achieving my goals. That's MY decision
I've feeling so much better now after two days of eating lchf again, and I'm meal planning for next week so I'll be back on track - onwards and upwards (or hopefully, in the scale's case, downwards!)
Thank you so much for your inspiring posts and amazing support - I don't really have any 'real life' friends who I can talk to about dieting or lchf so this group has been a lifesaver for me xxx 0
