Any advice for my daughter who is 13 and 5' 9". I am 5'11"
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I've been 6' since I was 13 years old. It stinks when you're that age. Just remind her that it will be an asset when she's older. Remind her that if she is teased about it, it's only because other girls are jealous. Sports really helped me as well, even though I was way too skinny to ever be that great at basketball. If she doesn't like basketball, then she can use my favorite insult. When someone would say to me, "You're so tall! You must play basketball." she can say, "Do you play miniature golf?" Always shuts them up (even though I did play basketball).0
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Yes, I have been stessing the model thing. Even thought of actually taking her but I know how cruel that profession can be. Thanks for the feedback!
As a former runway model . . . I can honestly say that if I had a daughter, the runway is the last place I would want her to be! I never did print work, so perhaps that is different.
I was 5'9" tall by grade six, and another inch had crept on by grade 8. Grade 8 was miserable. I did start runway work in grade 8, but that certainly didn't make it any easier on me. In addition to the constant teasing from my peers about my height, and about being a "clothes hanger" (my runway work wasn't appreciated by my peers, but was belittled), I was being pressured by my agent to get my weight down to unhealthy levels.0 -
I'm 5'10" and almost 40. Like many of the women who have already posted, I love love love being taller...NOW :happy: (for many of the same reasons already mentioned...and it is so fun to look down on people who are being *****y AND I don't hesitate to wear heels either). I wouldn't change a thing...NOW. Back in my middle school years though, it was brutal. What saved me was playing a lot of sports in high school and college and my teammates were my best friends...I rarely ventured outside of that bubble. I still play volleyball and one of my favorite things about it is being one of the shortest on the court. I love being in a huddle and actually having to look up to my teammates :bigsmile: . Kids are about the here and now. I hope you can convince your daughter that she will love being taller down the road.
I still remember being forced to dance with the shortest boy at a dance one time. It was soooo humiliating. I seriously gave up on dances forever after that. Encourage your daughter to talk about things that make her uncomfortable (related to her height among other things). I didn't really have anyone to talk to about how embarrassed I felt being taller than people around me. I would slouch to try to fit in even though I was always told not to slouch. I've done Pilates reformer classes for about 5 years now with a very dedicated instructor, and I can't tell you how much that has helped me with my posture, flexibility, and overall movement. It would have been so awesome if I had been put in Pilates reformer when I was your daughter's age (that's assuming she doesn't do yoga, swim, or dance because those really require great posture).0 -
Tell her to stand tall, at 5'9 at 12/13 I slouched a lot to look closer to my friends heights, and now I am struggling to remember to stop slouching. One thing I hated at that height and age (with a mom who is less than 5'5) all my pants were far too short because my mom didn't know where to get me longer pants. Nothing makes you feel even more awkwardly tall than walking around in flood pants. I agree with a lot of the people here, sports were great! Most of my height is leg so I loved soccer.0
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I am a proud mother of two boys that are in fourth and sixth grade now, but I have three adopted kids. My youngest girl is nine years old and has scoliosis due to slouching, she is already 5'3, she takes it after her father who is 6'7.I always put a book on her head to keep her back straight, I run my finger up her back and it immediately alarms her to straighten up, but she's not the only one, my 13 year old boy is already 6'0. I'm so proud of his posture, he is the happiest boy on the earth and never let's his big size get in the way.My biological son Logan, is relatively small, he's in the sixth grade, my friends usually think Logan is in third grade, he takes the Height after me, I am 37 years old and I am only 4'7. My other son in the fourth grade is relatively tall, he towers above me and Logan at 5'3, he inherits his fathers height, mark, their father and my husband is 6'4, so our family is a mixture of short and tall. My mother was pretty tall, around 5'5, but my father was 4'11.Marks mother wasn't all that tall maybe 4'10, but his father was 5'6,he kind of grew out of nowhere or his ancient heritage,or earlier past gave him a boost, but my children are all healthy happy and are mentally well, and exercise and eat healthy.
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I definitely agree with helping her find something she excels at, especially if its something that utilizes her height. For me that was playing the trombone. I'm 6' and my mum is 5'4", so she didn't have much to offer as far as advice goes. I've come to find that while I saw my height as a drawback around her age (I was bullied a lot) and people still can be rude, being a tall woman also commands a certain sense of respect that many shorter women don't receive. I don't think it's right, but it's a definite benefit I am afforded with my height - when we're tall, it's almost as if people assume we're the leader. Height plays such a big role in how others perceive us, and often taller folks seem to be expected to step up, even if they don't want to. As long as she realizes this, she can control how she reacts to it.
As far as socializing goes, I found my niche in late middle school with the metalheads and haven't looked back. If she finds an activity she loves and can connect with her peers there, all the better. I would be careful about pushing the modelling thing too much. I've been heavy since before I was 10, yet people would always comment that I could be a model. Although people meant it as a compliment, I always felt self-conscious when hearing it because I wasn't built like models (or basketball players, or anything people tend to associate with being a tall woman) and I didn't want my height to be the focus of conversation about my future. I'd be careful about how you boost her confidence/address any of her insecurities. I was told a lot about how "lots of guys like tall women", etc., and I really didn't like having my insecurities boiled down to whether guys would find me attractive! Middle school was the worst, and the only time the bullying stopped for me is when I stepped up for myself and told my bullies to shove it.
Lastly, I'd recommend you help her continue healthy eating habits. Being "naturally skinny" is due based on her current eating and activity levels - she's lucky to be maintaining a good balance without having to try. I know first-hand how easy it is to let height hide weight gain, and she is likely to hit a point where her eating/activity levels change and she needs to re-evaluate her habits. I guess what I'm saying is to not assume she's "safe" from having difficulty with her weight in the future simply because of how she is now. She's so lucky to have a mum who is thinking about how to best guide her through this difficult time!0 -
mom22nteaching wrote: »I have a beautiful 5'9" 13 year old daughter. I am 5'11" and thought my height would prepare me for supporting a tall daughter. My mother is 5'4" and I was never really thought she understood me.
Now my daughter has hit her growing stride and says things. like " I can't believe you made me this tall"
8th grade is a tough grade to be tall when most boys are still 5th grade height.
Did anyone's mom say the perfect thing when you were growing up tall?
Luckily my daughter is one of those naturally skinny girls and doesn't have the weight problems I have.
Just keep reassuring her that's she's beautiful the way she is and it's an amazing thing to stand out. Also, the boys will pass her eventually, just takes a little. My mom always reassured me and that always helped. I felt I embraced my height, 5'9, at a young age and learned to love it early on because of it.0 -
Hear, hear to the well fitting clothes part!! I reached my present height of 5'10" by the end of middle school, and I always felt a bit awkward looking at pics of me and my 5'2"-5'6" friends because I stuck out so much. But worse than that for me *was* the clothes thing. Pants that came in petite/average/tall lengths didn't start to become widely available until I was in late high school/early college. Sleeve lengths are still a struggle.
My mom is around 5'6"ish, and is unfortunately of a rather poor self body image, so I couldn't really follow her example on appreciating my body. My stepmom, however, is very petite and has always complimented my Amazon statuesque-ness. Be her example. Celebrate your tallness and never disparage your appearance, even if you're not feeling your best. She's looking to you for that more than she'll ever say.0 -
I was 6'0 by the time I started high school, and honestly it wasn't until I came to college (I am now a senior in college) that I started to really own my height. Well-fitting clothes changed my life, and they're worth the investment - and teaching your daughter what looks best on her (I was raised by a single dad, so I stumbled upon it much later). Also, as cheesy as it sounds, as a young teen I remember learning that Taylor Swift and Blake Lively were 5'10 and feeling so good about my height, as I had always considered them to be role model types. Find out who your daughter emulates and if there's someone that's tall, maybe point that out - knowing other tall women are also considered beautiful can help her!
Also watch her posture! Mine is terrible and compounding some other back problems that I have, and I'm still struggling to correct it!0
