Struggling - may need a revised plan
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linomarble
Posts: 3 Member
Ive been a member of this group for a while, but for reasons that will be clear in a sec, Ive made this throwaway account. I trust the knowledge and wisdom here more than other mfp groups.
Im female, 39, 148 pounds, 5'2" and lost about 40 pounds over several years of cutting + maintenance, while lifting (fairly casual lifter, kettlebells and dumbbells). Id like to ultimately drop 25-30 more pounds. Ive maintained 148 for about a year. Id put my bf % at probably 28%. I walk 10-12,000 steps a day.
Of late Ive tried cutting again to lose the weight, and find several days of it in a row leading to binges, even if I do well on macros. I believe the binges are correlated by life issues and stress. In short, I am in an abusive relatinship and trying to get out, but it will be 8-10 months before I can execute my plan. Im sharing this not for sympathy (but I do appreciate any expressed) but for context about why Im struggling. I do have people helping me (counselors, etc).
My cut window is tiny. If I eat more than 1450 calories, the scale wont budge. I do weigh and measure everything pretty tightly, in grams. Some days I quick add 50 calories just in case I missed a bite of someone else's food. I estimate 1550 -1600 is my maintenance calorie amount.
Im thinking maybe I need to lay off this cut at this time in my life, that it's adding fuel to the fire of what's going on for me personally. I dont want to regain my losses--clearly I have more fat to lose. Bulking is unappealing because my bf % is still too high.
Id like a way -- through diet and exercise -- to begin feel better about myself as I work to change my life.
If anyone has similar experiences or ideas on what they might do eating and training wise, in my shoes, Id really welcome and appreciate them. I hope this isnt inappropriate here--this community's intelligence and kindness is a great strength.
Thank you so much.
Im female, 39, 148 pounds, 5'2" and lost about 40 pounds over several years of cutting + maintenance, while lifting (fairly casual lifter, kettlebells and dumbbells). Id like to ultimately drop 25-30 more pounds. Ive maintained 148 for about a year. Id put my bf % at probably 28%. I walk 10-12,000 steps a day.
Of late Ive tried cutting again to lose the weight, and find several days of it in a row leading to binges, even if I do well on macros. I believe the binges are correlated by life issues and stress. In short, I am in an abusive relatinship and trying to get out, but it will be 8-10 months before I can execute my plan. Im sharing this not for sympathy (but I do appreciate any expressed) but for context about why Im struggling. I do have people helping me (counselors, etc).
My cut window is tiny. If I eat more than 1450 calories, the scale wont budge. I do weigh and measure everything pretty tightly, in grams. Some days I quick add 50 calories just in case I missed a bite of someone else's food. I estimate 1550 -1600 is my maintenance calorie amount.
Im thinking maybe I need to lay off this cut at this time in my life, that it's adding fuel to the fire of what's going on for me personally. I dont want to regain my losses--clearly I have more fat to lose. Bulking is unappealing because my bf % is still too high.
Id like a way -- through diet and exercise -- to begin feel better about myself as I work to change my life.
If anyone has similar experiences or ideas on what they might do eating and training wise, in my shoes, Id really welcome and appreciate them. I hope this isnt inappropriate here--this community's intelligence and kindness is a great strength.
Thank you so much.
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Replies
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I think that your health and safety should be the top priority for you. At a BMI of 27, you aren't in a significant danger zone wrt weight and health and it seems you are getting the 20-30 min of daily exercise that is recommended for heart health.
Leaving an abusive relationship is challenging. You have to be strong to do it and I'm so glad you are taking the necessary steps to do so safely.
The advice I would give myself in your situation would be to let further weight loss go while navigating this stressful situation while recognizing that exercise can make you feel strong and powerful. So I would chase those feelings of being strong capable and powerful in the gym or outside it and not worry about the scale.
Take care of yourself and good luck. Im cheering for you.3 -
Tagging, if I have internet on my flight I'll get to this today.0
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Stupid suggestion but if you're struggling with a certain calorie point, can you try increasing activity? Any sort of NEAT increase, extra cardio, extra lifting, whatever might help keep your progress up without cutting any food out. Depends on what you have for free time but it could also get you away for some periods of time as well, double bonus.0
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Thank you andyllll and dope.
Those are both helpful ideas. Dope, I especially like adding in more NEAT, while eliminating the stress of such careful cutting. Id been thinking along those lines: joining a gym to get away, get exercise, and maybe meet some positive people, too.
Thanks for your psychological support and validation, andyllll.
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First off, I am so sorry for what your'e going through!
As for your goals and such, I would recommend that you eat at maintenance and allow yourself the time to get stronger mentally and physically over the next 8-10 months. As Dope mentioned, if you increase your NEAT, you could see a bit of a deficit from the increase in activity but not having to focus on eating less will make a difference.
I'm cheering for you and hoping you're able to get out soon...0 -
Didn't have internet on my flight but I finally read through this and the replies.
I'll definitely post a more thorough reply once my kids are in bed.
Best of luck with your situation and I hope you get the important stuff worked out.
I'll have some diet and training comments but they are obviously secondary to the major things you're already addressing.0 -
So first of all I think it's great that you are getting some resolution to the unfortunate life circumstances.
I think many people fail to recognize that life circumstances can substantially impact diet and training outcomes. Whether that's diet adherence for fat loss, or the impact that stress has on sleep and fatigue management, etc. Point being I definitely think it makes sense to adjust the diet and training side of things for some people, in some situations, to accommodate for life stress.
That being said I have a few suggestions, not all that different from what's already been said.
I think you should focus a bit less on what is "optimal" from a training standpoint and look primarily at the following things:- What exercise modality or type of exercises do you enjoy most?
- What is a good amount of total exercise volume such that it has a net positive impact on your life and your mood? I would say here that doing too much is going to make things worse, but "not doing enough" probably will too. This is more of a grey area question but it's a good one to think about.
- Track and measure progress in the gym.
- Structure training keeping the previous things in mind (preference, volume, etc) such that you have the intent of improving over time. In other words, build progression into the program such that you are getting better at the things you enjoy doing.
This will not only drive physiological adaptations to exercise that will cause "good stuff to happen" to your body, but primarily it will make you feel like a straight up pimp, son.
What I mean by that is, you'll get positive feedback by getting better at the things you want to get better at. And since you're monitoring and tracking it, you'll see it.
And you can set up these positive feedback loops in other areas as well, but in your case I'd not use the scale as much (if at all). MOST people unfortunately ONLY use the scale as their source of positive feedback and this is a huge mistake.
I would find a way to get social support for your training as well. For many people on MFP it's their friends list and their wall that they use for this, but it's very important.
Finally on the dieting front this is kind of tricky because without knowing you well I can't make as educated of a recommendation like I could with someone I've been working with for a while, but briefly:
- I would do your best to prevent weight regain
- I would set the GOAL to maintain bodyweight for now. If you lose weight in that process, bonus.
- I would set cals to estimated maintenance
If I were coaching you, I'd also want to know how you feel about logging and based on that discussion I would consider alternative approaches IF (and only IF) logging is a stressful thing for you.0 -
Thank you so much, sidesteel.
It seems like you read my mind, in a matter of 10 days, I went from focusing on a cut to clearly on a path toward fast weight gain.
Mentally I've been fine for 4+ years in a "logging" mindset. Never in that time did the reality of substantial weight gain come to be as it has in the past few weeks. (sidebar: I dont mind logging, but logging and planning on a narrow cut is a lot more mentally draining than logging for maintenance).
Hearing from you to simply focus on not gaining weight is a relief. Also, encouraging me to shift toward non-scale goal markers is a brilliant move.
For most of this journey, my eatig and training has been a positive focus for me that helped me feel in control of my life. But of late, the pressure I put on myself to lose more was too much combined with the planning and energy I must put forth toward changing my life.
I write that now mainly for anyone reading who may find themselves in a similar place: sometimes goals do need to shift for sanity and balance.
Sidesteel, thank you for asking me to reflect on what exercises I enjoy and working from there, and also finding a good "sweet spot" on volume.
This thread has helped me more than I can express. It means a lot.0 -
big hugs to you!!0
