EMOTIONAL EATING

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What do you do if your family is trying to sabotage your diet?

nitallica
nitallica Posts: 31 Member
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I had dinner out with my parents this weekend. It was my birthday Friday and my mom made my favorite cake: German chocolate. On top of that, my dad gave me a huge bag of sweets. I swear y'all, I love my family, but they drive me crazy when they do things like this. I know they mean well, but it seems no matter how many times I explain, they don't understand that I'm diabetic now and I can't really have that stuff anymore. Or, at least, not until I get things under control.

I took the bag of sweets to work and gave to happy folks there, but I ate half the cake my mom gave me. I proceeded to hate myself afterwards, but I've SO missed cake!

How do you deal with loved ones who, while meaning well, try to crash your diet?

Replies

  • PennyBrew
    PennyBrew Posts: 47 Member
    Happy belated birthday.
    I'm trying to figure out this same issue. My family insists that food be a part of every interaction. The best this I found is to request different foods. Instead of birthday cake my parents get me an edible arrangement. If I know that there will be a lot of junk I try to eat something before any parties so I'm not starving and I bring a veggie tray to snack on. It can be hard enough to control my own impulses without having to worry about my family's as well.
  • Verdenal
    Verdenal Posts: 625 Member
    edited April 2016
    nitallica wrote: »
    I had dinner out with my parents this weekend. It was my birthday Friday and my mom made my favorite cake: German chocolate. On top of that, my dad gave me a huge bag of sweets. I swear y'all, I love my family, but they drive me crazy when they do things like this. I know they mean well, but it seems no matter how many times I explain, they don't understand that I'm diabetic now and I can't really have that stuff anymore. Or, at least, not until I get things under control.

    I took the bag of sweets to work and gave to happy folks there, but I ate half the cake my mom gave me. I proceeded to hate myself afterwards, but I've SO missed cake!

    How do you deal with loved ones who, while meaning well, try to crash your diet?

    Did you speak to them beforehand? Next time, say something like "I appreciate that you are trying to make a nice occasion for me, but there are certain foods that I cannot eat, doctor's orders." Send them some nasty photos of people with diabetes.

    I once took a medication that required a special diet and my family didn't take it seriously. created great anxiety, frustration, and hurt because the consequences of ingesting the wrong thing would have been dangerous.
  • nitallica
    nitallica Posts: 31 Member
    Yeah I have, several times in fact. I know they aren't doing it out of malicious intent, but it's frustrating. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but can't help but feel like they don't take it seriously.
  • mtpizzo
    mtpizzo Posts: 18 Member
    Everyone deserves a birthday cake. But instead of taking it home, maybe suggest your folks keep it at their house for anyone to visit to enjoy. Or just go out to eat and have one serving of those kinds of things just as an every so often treat if you want to indulge for a special occasion. But if you feel like they do this stuff all the time, a family intervention might be necessary. Just gather everyone who does it one night over coffee and bring it up... tell them how you feel when they do these things and explain that their behavior is hindering your diet and could very well be life threatening for you. Explain to them that from now on, if anyone buys or presents you with these sort of treats, you will politely decline and remind them of how you need their support for your new healthier lifestyle. If they give you excuses explain it's your body and your life and you'd appreciate that they respect your choices.
  • Xistie
    Xistie Posts: 13 Member
    I have this same problem. I try, very hard to eat healthy yet my mother INSISTS on cooking the most fattening, greasy carb-filled foods on the planet. I ask her to not offer them to me, tell her that I'm trying to do what I can to improve my quality of life, yet every time I look up she's offering me the same crap. I always have to tell her "Hey, you know how I don't nag at you too eat healthy like me? Don't shove that crap in my face. I can't tell you how to live and eat, but respect my choices." Then, when I purchase my own healthy foods for my own consumption, she and my little sister help themselves to the food I purchased for myself with my own money when they have plenty of their fattening crap in the fridge. It's like I can't win.

    Now, I'm done being nice about it. It sounds horrible, petty and selfish but at the end of the day your own life and health is a lot more important than your family's feelings. If they don't respect your choices, don't respect their feelings and let them know in no uncertain terms that you're done with it.

    But, your situation doesn't sound as extreme as mine, so I might just say be more firm when explaining, tell them what certain foods will do to you. Maybe if they are exposed to the science of it, then it will register more?
  • Free_style
    Free_style Posts: 15 Member
    I too have the same problem but it is a little different and falls under emotional eating. I need to write out my hangups. In church, we are discussing hangups so this is really awesome and a great title for this post.

    I stay with my mother 5 days a week and since my mother is 85 years old, she likes what she likes and she wants them on hand when company comes. However she only eats small bits of the stuff. When I say this she wants, on occasion, and at different times, a scoop of ice cream, a cookie, m&m's, a piece of cake and crackers, etc.

    When things aren't positive or progressing, my emotions get the best of me and I eat her snacks to the point I have gained 20 pounds. I even find myself sneaking them. Furthermore, I am the one that does the shopping, so really there is no excuse. My stress level is high right now and I feel that the emotions are getting me off track. She'll ask for a scoop of ice cream and lately I have been weak and given into my stress and powerlessness to say no and will get me a scoop, two or three, as well. Then the carton is empty.

    As I write this, I have figured out a solution. Perhaps, not having them so readily available and purchase smaller quantities of the things that I overindulge in. Thanks for letting me post. My positive affirmation for today "its my time".

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